Jack Monroe #122 You don’t batch tweet when you’ve got a 106 fever

[Veronicaaa]

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Eggs from the greengrocer? When did she buy FANCY GREENGROCER EGGS??

 

[Bobtheknob]

Encouraging her father to come round for trifle? She has Covid! How does she know she’s not infectious? So many questions and lies.

 

[Scarletfever]

Why is her banter so tit. She thinks she's really funny too

 

[veryfondoftea]

That is the most disappointing trifle I’ve ever seen. I’d rather eat Rachel from Friends beef mince one than that. I think it probably had more cream and custard. What sort of sloppy spawn of Satan has that kind of cream and custard to jelly and Del Monte ratio. And what the duck is dream topping?!

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

That's one hell of a field of view perspective to make her hands look larger than her head. Plus practically folding herself in the middle to bring her shoulders together and forwards for the illusion of being teeny-tiny and frail.

it's essentially how anglers make their 3lb carp look like a baby whale. They don't try and chop one side of their face off to add to the effect, though.

I'd like to take this moment to thank Fillippo Brunelleschi and the day he got his head around perspective.

 

[colouredlines]

I was looking for a photo from the GQ shoot to compare with today's unphotoshopped look. Instead I found this! I never knew about her Bill & Ted-era Keanu Reeves phase!

 

[Captainmouse]

That kipper will be repeating on her from now until 2021 unless she has bread with it and not the soft softly pillowy kind. And don't need a knife at all.View attachment 358792 qView attachment 358794 q

Jack hun you're on your own in that house. You aren't fooling me.

Agree party of one for Christmas

 

[Marwood]

Also isn't she rather slagging off Del Monte with that "fighting over the single cherry" quip about their fruit cocktail?

 

[Professor Slop]

It's interesting that the ZOE covid symptom study lists only one common feature of covid regardless of your disease severity level. Assuming you are not completely asymptomatic (which Jack claims she wasn't), every single severity group lists loss of smell (and so taste) as a feature. Funny how she can now taste things perfectly isn't it? As a side note, a girl I work with (mid 20s) still hasn't regained her smell or taste 3+ months after other symptoms have gone. Website for anyone interested: https://covid.joinzoe.com/post/covid-clusters

 

[Captainmouse]

I WISH Gordon would see her tweet and rip her an absolute new one.
Is slagging off trifles a symptom of Made Up Covid or being a little tit? Poor SB, bet he wishes he was at his Dad’s with his siblings gobbling mince pies and watching Disney till his eyes bled.

He is

I got my friend a card and present from her cats.... My oh thinks I'm bonkers

My horse buys gifts for his carers

 

[Icing _on_ the_cake]

As others have said, the glitter makes the top of the cream look rank - like it's been cooked or something.

Also, who wants to eat that much glitter?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Captainmouse]

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LOOK AT YOUR FACE.

Who dat?

 

[Hollaaa]

Also, who wants to eat that much glitter?

Not sure where the edible glitter spray fits in with the zero waste/environmental crusader lifestyle either. Or was Eco Jack THEN?

 

[Professor Slop]

Self saucing cheesy stuffing? On a Christmas dinner? (Traaaazers??)

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Professor Slop]

Jackie's "housemates", prepare for the worst christmas dinner you've ever seen, heard of or imagined. You're in my thoughts.

ETA: Jinx Silver

 

[KebabGirl]

Either this is an amazing fantasy, or BB has been there all the time. Roast potatoes in a slow cooker? Just put them in a bleeping dish and bung in the oven. After a year of slop and tantrums let the "household" have something with texture

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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Fam.

You have awoken my cold, silent fury Jack.

 

[Pixieboots]

Today's shenanigans have irritated me so much that I ran out to the corner shop to get ingredients for a chocolate orange trifle.