Ioan Gruffudd and Alice Evans #4 He’s just not that into you

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Perplexity said:
That’s his choice though, on his terms. Just because he’s an actor doesn’t mean he doesn’t get to set some boundaries - in his own home especially! Just because you consent to something in some circumstances doesn’t mean you consent to it in every circumstance. That’s basic. I’m not even arguing that he isn’t vain or doesn’t like attention! I just think that him setting some boundaries around photos of his private life being a sign that he’s a controlling narcissist is way off the mark.

I’m also not saying he’s some angel either - I have no doubt there was secret shagging going on…
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Didn't say he was a narcissist! It just shows he cares veeeerrrrrrrry much about his image and illuminates part of the dynamic of their marriage.
 
I just can't think of anything he could say in a statement that wouldn't make it worse. Anything he says will make it worse. I'm surprised he even released the photo with the comment, I guess his lawyers wouldn't be happy with it, but if the 6 months is up maybe he is just so relieved he let his guard down. (He just said he was smiling again, it wasn't a wedding announcement).
 
Bridgeofsighs said:
AE: A lot of people definitely knew something - for quite a time. That's what makes me feel so humiliated!

What difference does it make? Him getting a gf was always going to cause a meltdown even if they kept it secret before.
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It's hard though. Really hard to find out you've been lied to on that level. It makes you feel small and alone and as if everyone is laughing at you. The worst feeling is thinking you weren't good enough for someone and all their friends and family agreed.
 
EssieMay said:
I just can't think of anything he could say in a statement that wouldn't make it worse. Anything he says will make it worse. I'm surprised he even released the photo with the comment, I guess his lawyers wouldn't be happy with it, but if the 6 months is up maybe he is just so relieved he let his guard down. (He just said he was smiling again, it wasn't a wedding announcement).
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Even a brief statement along the lines of: 'I am sorry that our separation and divorce has caused this much pain. Our two daughters are very much the priority and I hope, with time, we can all heal and move on.'

It might be clichéd but it at least shows that he has a heart. The silence is just allowing Alice to yell into the void.
 
EssieMay said:
Well how does she think he felt when she was sharing vids of him snoring without his permission? Yes no doubt she does feel that way now but he probably felt that way heaps of times before. Anyway she needs to find healthy ways to cope and her current method is damaging to everyone within firing range.
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I'm sorry Essie May but that's so different. An insta video isn't remotely similar to your world cracking apart when you find out about lies. I've been through this seismic level of humiliation and trust me when I say that it makes you feel absolutely sub human to know that people you thought liked and loved you didn't like you enough to tell you you were being betrayed. It's a dagger to the soul when a simple break up is a dagger to the heart. You can on one level accept the betrayal from the ex but the rest of the people? It's hell.
 
S_Chynoweth said:
It's hard though. Really hard to find out you've been lied to on that level. It makes you feel small and alone and as if everyone is laughing at you. The worst feeling is thinking you weren't good enough for someone and all their friends and family agreed.
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Yes I agree that that is hard. But it depends if you take AE's word for it that everyone knew except her and that the romance started in 2020 when they were still together albeit in a rocky marriage. I don't take her word on anything. She is also the world's worst detective and so are her FMs.

I don't doubt that he told his family and maybe close friends this year about it. So what? He was separated then. Also I don't think you make the big announcement until you are sure the relationship has legs. Otherwise could be a bit embarrassing if it quickly dissolves.

I am glad BW is reading up on Narcs etc. She will need it. I imagine she is helping IG to deal with AE's public tit flinging. I know he kind of asked for it by marrying a bunny boiler (and the signs were there) but I still have some sympathy for him. And the kids of course.
 

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I was dumped by someone who went off with someone else, and it burned. She kept turning up at things with her new guy, and I'm so glad I didn't have social media at the time, because although I don't think I would have done what Alice has done, I'm sure i might have put up something I later regretted.

The woman who left me later started getting dumped by the men in her life (one ghosted her after she became pregnant with his child), and she went full Alice with tweets, threatening letters, dumping all the stuff the parents of the guy had bought her on their drive, etc.

Perhaps I'm the Olivier Picasso to her Alice.....hmmm......
 
In fairness, BW doesn't have much in the way of context.

Seems there are 2 of them throwing around the narc term. I think it's probably thrown around a bit too much. Sometimes you're not a narc, you're just a selfish asshole.

Probably the truth is a bit more complex for AE, given this is fairly well known behaviour for a middle aged wife who's been thrown over and replaced with someone young enough to be her daughter. I've read a lot of similar behaviour on Mumsnet, (with lots of encouragement from the braying huns), they just didn't have a huge following on Twitter. Unknown people just post embarrassing statuses on Facebook slagging him off.

But I think it's quite possible that neither are narcs, but they are very happy to label each other that. Her in public, him in private to BW.
 
welp said:
Also, I do think that some of the accounts that are attacking Alice are just alts of people that previously argued with Alice and were blocked (I hope it's not what she believes and it's from Ioan and his girlfriend, but none of those accounts have given off the vibe to me), but definitely not as many as she believes (and I believe more people would argue with her if they wouldnt already know that her fanclub will harrass them, it's one reason why I never interacted on twitter with her). I'm using twitter for ages and have less than 50 followers. It's because I dont have it as a personal account (something that friends could follow), and I never post my own things but only comment occasionally under news tweets, you dont gain many followers this way usually, but her and her minions always dismissed people with not many followers. It's part of their SM addiction.

Also, them being triggered about one friend speaking out for Ioan and his GF after they were attacked with what they know is hilarious. Deb, Lin and all the others doing this unprompted, often with slurs, is totally fine though!

Ioan is an complete idiot. Not only the announcement and the likely cheating. Him being involved until a year ago with these sort of people and even married with one for ages always made me question him.
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I’m not defending IG but getting away from AE and her lot is probably far more difficult than you can imagine. I agree about his judgement however.
 
Well, if it had only started now I would agree and Alice's behavior atm wouldnt be that unusual if she wasnt in the public eye. But Alice is spiralling badly since he broke up, long before she knew that she was "replaced" (she had admitted the past months that she didnt think that he had an affair, after she initially thought it). And in fact that behavior was already apparent long long before they broke up too. Ioan until this thing came across to me as vain, I know many people who confuse this with narcissism, but it's hard to get a read on him in general because he isnt saying and doing much.

Let's put it this way: It's far more likely that both are narcissists than that neither are. I agree though that this term is thrown around way too easily these days.
 
Lizzymint said:
This is exactly it , I honestly think he did tell her , and she has known he is in a new relationship from the start. I imagine he tried to or did tell his children, AE has chosen not to listen/ accept it .
As she lives her life through social media and has done for quite some time , if it isn’t ‘out there ‘ it isn’t real .
I honestly think releasing the Instagram pic was his way of trying to get AE to accept it , sign the divorce papers and start to move on / be able to co parent appropriately etc


Omg she is giving me serious M Markle vibes in this video


I did wonder the same re Rufus , I replied directly and expected a blasting as a response ( going off previous interactions with those who had done the same ) , but nothing 🤷🏼‍♀️
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I’ve been thinking the same as you re MM. The way she talks over him, clings to him like a leech, and walks ahead of him just for a start. So cringe!
 
AE was with OP. He was pretty shiny. He reflected his shine upon her throughout the Paris “scene”. She probably get all shiny and special as well - an English girl, upcoming actress, trilingual, it was probably a great time for her.
Then she makes a movie, 102 Dalmations with IG. This movie has the potential to push her star a bit higher. And a romance with a costar? Well the sky’s the limit there! Potential to become Hollywood’s up and coming “Cool Britannia” couple. Dump OP, get with IG, AE begins to shine even brighter now. The Hollywood stage has far more potential than the Paris scene.
But then IG made the fatal mistake of shining a bit too brightly. His star continued to rise and hers kind of spluttered and faltered. How dare he! And so she starts to pull him back down again. And continues to pull him down, whilst still maintaining enough of his shininess to keep her shiny, until he finally after 18 years has enough and breaks it off.

Classic narc 101. If he was the narc, he’d have broken it off with her years ago and gotten with a younger Hollywood actress.
 
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