Bashing and name calling abuse victims who finally manage to leave the relationship, by whichever manner, is not acceptable. The evidence is in the TRO documentation and Wiki.Weak in that he didn’t have enough resolve to leave when he was unhappy without a new girlfriend to hold his hand and help him.
Hadn’t realised tattle was exclusively a pro-Ioan site
Crystal Eyes .. One Look At You and I’m Traumatised .. at your Crystal Eyes 
BIB:
A restraining order carries a negative connotation - you have to be prevented by the court from doing something harmful to someone. Shame on you.
An NDA, in Hollywood especially, is common. A confidentiality agreement implies insider status. You know something that should remain private - the plot of a script, a secret relationship, career-killing behavior - whatever. Good for you.
Alice has said on more than one occasion that she plans to write a book, and she's often threatened to eventually blab. Perhaps she thinks dropping these subtle insinuations
Thank you for this, UtR! I've been picking up a weird vibe here the last couple of days. We've gone from razzing Ioan about his satin PJ-jacket and shiny shoes look of back in the day when mAlice was probably dressing him to knocking his leather jackets. I, for one, like his leather jacket look. I think he looks great these days.
Weak in that he didn’t have enough resolve to leave when he was unhappy without a new girlfriend to hold his hand and help him.
Hadn’t realised tattle was exclusively a pro-Ioan site
IG/AE relationship was evidently fucked up, you do wonder how much of AE behaviour was enabled by IG tho. 20 years smacks of codependency. And interestingly he’s swapped supporting/propping up AE who clearly has her own problems for BW who has MS and who knows what knock on psychological impact from that. I think he has to be emotionally reliant on someone who needs him.
Also via @claudiarocks -- Eyes Like Two Yakked-up Malteasers
xxx
You leave an abusive relationship when you are ready and able to. When you recognise that what is happening is abuse - it can take ages as you are normalised to being treated badly. These relationships don’t start off terrible. They start off well and get worse incrementally. Usually following a common path. By the time it’s really bad, you are either so ground down you have no energy/self worth that you don’t feel as though the abuse is wrong, or you think it’s what you deserve. It’s your fault.
Well said.
It's not a pro-Ioan site but most here are against victim blaming & there's no doubt Ioan was abused for a significant length of time.
He was clearly unhappy for a long time but so under her coercive control it took him a long time to deal with it.
You're right about their relationship being fucked up & that's on Alice. I agree about the co-dependency/enabling.
The latter happens cos' it can take a very long time, years in a lot of cases, before the victim even realises that they are being abused.
(I speak from personal experience.)
It's human nature to give the benefit of the doubt/hope things will get better, etc add in residual love, guilt etc & Narcs are THE experts at manipulation & gaslighting. Add children into the mix & they're another reason to stay as long as possible.
He told Alice several times over the years how he felt & she always ignored him. He tried for a long time but finally had enough. Like many turds I believe it was through his working away (from her toxicity) that he slowly began to get clarity over their marriage & see it for what it was & that he was the continued victim of abuse.
Knowing how aggressive & confrontational she can be with complete strangers we can only imagine what she put him through when he found the courage to tell her he no longer loved her & was leaving. That wasn't weakness, that took courage. Nobody was there helping him.
ETA it spoke volumes that for his own safety he needed a police escort when he returned for his belongings.
He has stood firm in the face of a relentless year long + campaign of hate & PA from a Narc who is hell bent on destroying every aspect of his being. Had he been weak he would have gone back to her & the girls.
His applying to the courts for a TRO & therefore admitting he had been abused took enormous courage IMO as men don't get the sympathy & understanding that women are granted. That can't have been an easy decision to make as he's a very private person.
Has he made mistakes? Sure, he's not perfect but he was/is the victim of a vicious Narc & I think he has shown a lot of courage in the face of all he's
been forced to endure & we only know the tip of the iceberg. He has lots more evidence. That he clicked with a woman also escaping an abusive marriage likely helped them both survive. Abuse does serious damage to one's MH. I don't begrudge either of them the support & comfort that has likely brought to them both.
As for him needing to be with someone who needs him, you may be right, he certainly comes across to me as a kind caring guy & perhaps within his personality is an element of being the white knight, who knows? I just know (speaking as a victim of emotional abuse & also a victim of a Narc) that he has shown a lot of courage & he still has a mountain to climb & a STBXW from hell who will never stop.
Fantastic @claudiarocks just shows your (and I imagineI remember a teacher telling my mum once I couldn’t play team games cause I was non hearingwe laughed for days cause that was what I was pinning all my life dreams on
Medical breakthroughs are made all the time she lives a healthy good life and says stress makes her condition flare up … I’m sure she’ll live a good life she could turn her hand to most things I would’ve thought .. now they’ve nailed that winomyalgia flare up’s door shut … for now … da da duuuummmm
's mindset).Oh yeah totally. Imagine the audio he has of her. I bet she is still be throwing her abuse around somehow.
Fully disagree.
BiB: Excuse me?! Have you read the Wiki, the court documents leading to the TRO, all these threads? I wonder if you've ever had to endure anything remotely like what he has. I doubt it.
Ditto.
Totally agree with you.
Much respect to you. ❤ I know exactly what you mean about losing your self identity & your love being a weakness.
You showed such strength & courage not returning to him. I hope you have since found peace & happiness? Much love & hugs, ❤
❤
Thats what Bianca said
I may not agree that he is "weak" but I think I understand what you are saying. I've met several men in my own life who have "white knight syndrome" who always seem to attach themselves to women who need taking care of, either physically or emotionally. Alice obviously needed to be taken care of financially and Bianca may need to be taken care of physically. Whether or not IG knows that either consciously or unconsciously, only he would know.Weak in that he didn’t have enough resolve to leave when he was unhappy without a new girlfriend to hold his hand and help him.
Hadn’t realised tattle was exclusively a pro-Ioan site
IG/AE relationship was evidently fucked up, you do wonder how much of AE behaviour was enabled by IG tho. 20 years smacks of codependency. And interestingly he’s swapped supporting/propping up AE who clearly has her own problems for BW who has MS and who knows what knock on psychological impact from that. I think he has to be emotionally reliant on someone who needs him.
