Helen Anderson #13 please read! ClutchandNOPE!

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rivers said:
Decided to look at the comments on Helen's latest post and jesus, is this person watching the same thing as the rest of us?

Also, so many people praising her for 'being real'? Jesus. There's a line between honesty and just being an arse...

Edit: Actually, can anyone on this thread recommend any influencers they actually think are 'real'? I can literally only think of Sammi Jefcoate and she's much more private so there isn't as much content to enjoy.
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Nelly London is pretty cool
 
Madness when I burnt my face with retinol I just used warm water to wash my face for 2 days and then just used a light moisturiser after that for a few more days (now reading people suggest coconut oil and I’m annoyed I didn’t consider that!) but I certainly didn’t think the best thing to do would be go out and buy even more skincare! Leave your fried face in peace!!
 
Intrepidtraveller said:
I really like Steph Toms, she does all kinds of videos, make up testing but for a specific brand, like "testing Revolution" and she will show you how it's worn through the day at the end. Doesn't take herself too seriously, very sarky & has kitties that are very cute ☺️

Also like Grackle, found her channel last year & love her. She's very food based but it's mostly chilled vlogs watching her cook & do bits round the house. Very laid-back & funny ☺️

Also do love Keira Rose myself as well!
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Grackle is my favourite! She's quite a bit younger than me but I find her hilarious and just seems like a nice person. I love how she always gets excited when people send her stuff too.
 
fag on the dressing table? 🤔 again i’m not one to judge but it bloody looks like a cig

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Oh my god, she had McDonald's and domino's in the same day!.. Then trotted off to Boots to splurge more £££.. She's such a pig... It was my birthday yesterday.. And you know what..i did duck all... It was great! Me and my other half made a curry, had a gin and a kitchen boogie (twas fabulous) Done. After all we are in lockdown, so be it.
why is she pigging out at every opportunity :sick: so gross..its like everything she does is in spade fulls, spending, eating... Moaning
 
Kit123 said:
Grackle is my favourite! She's quite a bit younger than me but I find her hilarious and just seems like a nice person. I love how she always gets excited when people send her stuff too.
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Oh yeah I'm a fair few years older than her but I just love her energy and attitude! I like when her dad pops into a video too he's cool ☺️ she's one of the few YouTubers who is genuinely grateful getting stuff sent to her isn't she and always shares it with her family, like watching her videos.
 
TaylorSlattery said:
Get you with your eagle eyes!
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thank you thank you;)

Also does anyone else remember when she said she’s now sick of having white furniture as it was “popular and trendy in like 2015” but now she finds it boring or some tit. That new chest of drawers looks pretty much the exact same as the old one, any excuse just to redecorate and blow her money on pointless crap.
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Think these were what she had before, literally no difference apart from the wood being more clearer and the knobs are new🤷🏻‍♀️
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I‘m at a bit of a loss for words after watching that video. It was just nonsense - most of it is her just wandering about chatting absolute tit and the makeup bit was painful. The idea of her running her own shop is hilarious. It would involve actual work, hard work, to be successful, and I can’t imagine her having a good business head.

I really try to avoid comments about appearance but she looked rough as toast in the makeup bit - she looks really unhealthy and very, very overweight. Looking at all the junk food she ate in one day makes me wonder if she’s developing an eating disorder. She does not have a normal relationship with food.

Anyway, Minnie is back, kissing Helga’s massive ass.
 

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The amount of money in her house is insane. Who needs so many things, and they are just things, she doesn’t need most of them. She’ll have 10 things that all to the same thing

But morbid but when Helen dies, god help whoever has to sort through her house after
 
I’m just watching the latest video. The problem with the new mic is it increases her uncontrollable need to waffle. She’s chatting actual nonsense. If I was hanging out with a friend (which I’m assuming is the feeling she’s going for) while they were being self involved and talking to them self I would make my excuses and leave. Which is really what I should do with her videos but I can’t tear my eyes away from the mess.
 
Lunamoon22 said:
VIDEO SUMMARY: MY BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKEUP, A DECLUTTER AND AN EXCITING REVEAL!!!!!!

THURSDAY 11TH FEB
Getting ready to take the dogs for a walk

Yells at the dishwasher for not cleaning the plates

She's going to sort out her skincare and have a declutter (aka not use anything she already has up, it's probably going to go straight in the bin)

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She's been out for her walk, has eaten some fruit loaf and now she's on her way upstairs to sort out the dressing room.

There are always clothes everywhere, but that's just her "making content"

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The current "situ" in the dressing room is that she takes tit out of the drawers and then shoves it back in.

She grabs handfuls of clothes and dumps it all over the floor.

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Mentions that she loves it when Grace use to come over and FOLD HER CLOTHES FOR HER.

Helen chuckles, "she loved to fold"

She's talking us through how she's making piles of different types of clothes

She talks about having a "tit-kicker" drawer, which is basically comfy clothing. This is a phrase made up by her dad.

She keeps finding tit she didn't know she had.

She goes through her band tee drawer and reads out all the bands she has. She pronounces Lynyrd Skynyrd in a quirky way, she also has a lot of Aerosmith tees.

Says that Fil's terrible at putting clothes away. She has to mother him and tells him to pick things up off the floor.

Says that he's a good boy and that when she asks him to do something he'll grunt about it, but will do it in the end. What a good Kirby Egg.

Helga would love to open a shop one day which sells band tees and records and candles. "JUST A KEWL SHOP"

Lists more things she could sell.... tableware.... homeware...

Dressing table time.

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She cuts to later and says it's taken her so much longer than she thought. She's already had her lunch break.

"It's not a particularly busy week this week."

She shows off her clean makeup drawer... THAT CRUSTY, DIRTY BEAUTY BLENDER 🤢🤢🤢

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She's showing off what she's done and she's breathing heavily into the chin mic whilst the camera wobbles around.

FRIDAY 12TH FEB
She picks up a parcel from the front door, lets the dogs out of their dungeon and yells good morning as she lets them out for a wee.... what time is it?! It looks like mid-morning!!!

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Butt shots.


She's excited today, she's got to edit some videos and get ready for her Sunny Bones prints.

Shows the camera her new hairy dick mug.

She's on the phone and planning to go out to pick up the prints

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She's back and says she's been "zipping about all day" but finally has the prints in her clutches.

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Says when she wrote the song initially it was about ".....something else" (lol, it was about Mark)

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But because people are saying to her how it's soooo relevant right now she thought "oh... this would be really nice on a print"

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Bald patch check

She probably would only be able to send them to the UK "coz of Brexit and tit"

If you're outside the UK and REALLY, REALLY want one then DM her so she can sort you out privately

She's trying to figure out where to put it....

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.....in the bin would look better.


SUNDAY 14TH FEB

Totally not going to show us any of Saturday... wonder why??

She greets Filwhipped and says "LOOK WOT I DID!"

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That's right she's been to the shop and put things on a plate. Amazing.

"WOW!" says Fil, "Shall we eat?" No, you bleeping lemon, just keep standing there looking at it

Cut to her running baby Fil a bath "Fil wants a barf. He neva as a barf."

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All the arse shots as she bends over to dust out her leg hair from a previous bath.

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She's done a Lush order and bought some lips

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She's showing off all her other bath tit she got from Lush

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Cut to Helga running out of breath getting up the stairs. She bought Fil a tea and a doughnut while he bathes "But if you don't want it... that's okay"

She fusses over Fil, telling him what she put in his bath, asks him if the temperature is okay.

Cut to the sofa of nightmares and Helga asking Fil what's just happened on TV. They've spent all day sitting watching TV.

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Helga wants Fil to help her go get ready for dinner.

But first, she needs to update us on what happened last night (is this the EXCITING REVEAL part that she wrote in her title?!)

Oh, it's just her talking about how she "sipped on some water" and chipped her tooth.

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She splutters out a wheezing laugh

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Now this "toof" was already chipped. When she was 17 she had a lip piercing "right here" she points to her old labret piercing

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She then explains that because they pierced her with a longer bar just in case of swelling, one day she ate food and bit down on the bar and chipped her tooth

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"I WOZ TERRIFIED. THERE WAS A BIG DRAMA IN THE HOUSE THAT NIGHT!!!"

Anyway, she's going to call the dentist tomorrow.

It's now time for greasy haired FILWHIPPED to do her make up

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"It's Valentine's day," she says to Fil,

"It is" he replies. Well done, you can both look at the calendar.

"...and we're having a date night at home" Helga continues unenthused

She list off food "Steak, sandwiches... mmm"

"mmmm" copies Fil.

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"I fort it wood be fun if you did me make up tonight"

Fil snots out a laugh then goes "alright"

"THIS IS TAKING IT BACK. THIS IS SUCH A CLASSIC YOUTUBE FING"

Fil adjusts his pinky ring

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Helga wants to bring out the green screen and have cupids in the background

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Fil doesn't know where to start, Helga has previously said that there are no instructions but has fallen at the first hurdle and has instantly instructed Fil to use foundation.

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Fil fingers her brushes and rubs them all over his face...

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Fil can't remember which hand he is "I'm right-handed" he remembers.

Wisdom from Fil "YOU CAN ALWAYS PUT MORE ON, BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE IT OFF..... WELL, I MEAN... YOU CAN TAKE IT OFF" Put that on a poster, folks.

As we get a close up of Fil's greasy locks, we see Helga's smitten little face loving his hands all over her. Maybe this was all a trick to get closer to his face without him bolting or looking disgusted.

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She moans that he's being quite heavy-handed. I am howling at how rough he is with her. It's like all that pent up aggression of being bossed about and forced to kiss her is being unleashed.

Helen's groaning, I don't know if this is pleasure or pain for her... probably a bit of both. Either way, it's uncomfortable to watch and listen to.

Fil's trying to figure out how to open the concealer, and Helga randomly pushes her face into him

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Now he's sponging her down

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Fil's taking a sniff of her blusher. Helga lets out a wheeze.

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He tells her to pucker her lips, Helga leans into him - hoping for a snog, but Fil's leaning back

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"you've been here before haven't you," asks Helga

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The camera is so out of focus, what is the point of this if we can't see it??

Helga is still instructing Filwhip on what to do.

Fil doesn't know where to start or when to stop

Helen shoves a finger up her nose and giggles "HEHEHE YOU DO WOTEVA YOU LIKE FIL"

"MY FACE IS YOUR CANVAS." Says Helga. (giggidy)

Fil's on the eyeliner now, but Helga is bored. She's thinking about food. "Fil, can you cook the steak and I cook the potatoes?"

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Fil the whiffer sniffer takes a break from doing Helga's lips to sniff the lipstick

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And Fil's done

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She has a look, the camera goes out of focus but we get an awesome shot of her filthy mirror

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She's not happy with Fil not going to her lash line

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Fil asks if he can go now. She whines about really wanting to do eyeshadow on him (like she did for Maff) Fil gives her a stern "NO. BYE BYE" and gives her an awkward peck.

Then they drink wine. The end.
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Omg the pictures at the end. Dying.


Also shut up Minnie.
 
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