Father of Daughters #50 Come on in, don’t be a pavlova!

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Axatogrind said:
There are so many people out there who take great pride in their instagram accounts, fill them with creativity, keep them fresh and exciting, come across as skilled and professional, have a strong original theme, radiate good vibes, engage in a genuine way with followers, understand quality over quantity, and really have something to say. I follow accounts with fewer than 5,000 followers (and few or no ads) who wipe the floor with what Simon's doing. Some of them are around half his age or younger and he could learn so much from them.

And there he is thinking he's god's gift to the internet with his amateur-hour ads, dog looking at child eating, telling children to shut up and showing us his cloudy honey (that sounds so wrong sorry). His self-importance over so little, and lack of any creative growth in all the time he's been doing this is staggering.

Now so I can't be accused of not being constructive, here's a few completely genuine tips for you Simon:

- Clear out those ancient story highlights and rewrite your bio
- Delete one of your two accounts, there's no real separation betwen them anymore
- Use some of that unlimited free time to actually study photography, videography & graphics a little bit
- Find an identity for your account that isn't based on exploiting your children or on heteronormative stereotypes
- Stop with the bot buying, fake followers and comments etc.
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He's really hoping for maximum results with minimum efforts. Privileged little man.
 
Axatogrind said:
There are so many people out there who take great pride in their instagram accounts, fill them with creativity, keep them fresh and exciting, come across as skilled and professional, have a strong original theme, radiate good vibes, engage in a genuine way with followers, understand quality over quantity, and really have something to say. I follow accounts with fewer than 5,000 followers (and few or no ads) who wipe the floor with what Simon's doing. Some of them are around half his age or younger and he could learn so much from them.

And there he is thinking he's god's gift to the internet with his amateur-hour ads, dog looking at child eating, telling children to shut up and showing us his cloudy honey (that sounds so wrong sorry). His self-importance over so little, and lack of any creative growth in all the time he's been doing this is staggering.

Now so I can't be accused of not being constructive, here's a few completely genuine tips for you Simon:

- Clear out those ancient story highlights and rewrite your bio
- Delete one of your two accounts, there's no real separation betwen them anymore
- Use some of that unlimited free time to actually study photography, videography & graphics a little bit
- Find an identity for your account that isn't based on exploiting your children or on heteronormative stereotypes
- Stop with the bot buying, fake followers and comments etc.
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Great advice but really he should just give it up altogether. Insufferable little man!
 
Dogmuck said:
All of this, amen Axa well summed up.
He won’t heed your advice though because he knows it all but also because it’s clear he’s desperate. If he wasn’t such a class A twit, who exploits his vaginas for £ & dopamine hits, Id actually be concerned and feel sorry for him. His approach of multiple stories and posts, coupled with jumping around utterly pointless “topics” really is manic and slightly disturbing. 😬
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I know he won't heed it. He thinks everything he does is fantastic, we've all seen how he pats himself on the back whenever he's posted up one of his creations or done something he thinks is worthy of praise.

I just hate seeing such a slapdash, half-arsed effort when there are so many people way more deserving of attention and recognition. It somehow makes me feel better to figuratively grade his work and point out how he could do better 😜
 
Ahh it’s caring compassionate son Fod time again - he can hug his mum and dad.

Interesting that I’ve seen lots of instahuns talking about the Christmas miracle that is them all being negative so they can see their families. I have to admit that I didn’t really know anyone that had the Delta variant but so many people I know have tested positive these last 10 days with omicron it’s quite clear it’s super transmittable. How fortunate that all influencers are turning up negative results 🤔
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Hatchet_job said:
I wonder if anyone is producing +ve results as a way to avoid gatherings? I'm not.
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I did one on Monday (as someone I was with last week had a positive) mine was neg. Did another tonight as guy who works with husband called to say he’d got a positive, mine and hubbies negative. Off to the bastard in-laws we go for Christmas 😏 So if anyone knows of any black market positive tests...asking for a friend 😜
 
Dogmuck said:
Ahh it’s caring compassionate son Fod time again - he can hug his mum and dad.

Interesting that I’ve seen lots of instahuns talking about the Christmas miracle that is them all being negative so they can see their families. I have to admit that I didn’t really know anyone that had the Delta variant but so many people I know have tested positive these last 10 days with omicron it’s quite clear it’s super transmittable. How fortunate that all influencers are turning up negative results 🤔
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How utterly tone deaf of the shitbag! Nice you get to see your family and all but is there any need to flaunt it about on instagram? So many people are testing positive and therefore not seeing family again. My daughters boyfriend tested positive yesterday, so my daughter is staying with him in their uni accommodation, so he won't be alone at christmas.

We also decided that as we live just outside London where cases are very high, it would be best that my son and his pregnant girlfriend don't come down to us, even though they are jabbed and boosted, with her being pregnant it is not worth the risk,especially as she has underlying conditions. I am heartbroken that again we won't all be together as a family, but needs must. However, having some jumped up moron waving tests and gloating really gets to you.

Read the room FOD, you jam strangling fuckpig!
 
We have literally been trying to avoid going to busy places the last two weeks out of fear of contracting it, as we live on the London/Surrey borders where the cases are really bad.

We need to spend Christmas with my mother in law, and my hubby would be absolutely devastated if we couldn't. It is our first Christmas without my father in law, who we sadly lost to covid earlier this year.

We did our early Christmas with my parents today 🥰
 
Coffee-Addict said:
Yes! I keep seeing the madness lurking in the eyes

@Kikini Bamalam now i dont know what a jam strangling f**kpig is - but i love it !
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:ROFLMAO: It comes from a fella that me and Mr B used to work with. He always had the best and most creative insults for management that I have ever heard. He was a total legend :ROFLMAO: I do wonder what he would have made of the likes of FOD and influencers in general, I know it wouldn't be very complimentary...
 
Kikini Bamalam said:
:ROFLMAO: It comes from a fella that me and Mr B used to work with. He always had the best and most creative insults for management that I have ever heard. He was a total legend :ROFLMAO: I do wonder what he would have made of the likes of FOD and influencers in general, I know it wouldn't be very complimentary...
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Fuckpig is one of my all time fave insults but adding “jam strangling” is next level brilliant- I’m stealing that @Kikini Bamalam and using it as my own 😜

ETA because of that line I didn’t know if to 🤣 or 😢 on your post
 
Dogmuck said:
Fuckpig is one of my all time fave insults but adding “jam strangling” is next level brilliant- I’m stealing that @Kikini Bamalam and using it as my own 😜

ETA because of that line I didn’t know if to 🤣 or 😢 on your post
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Next time football is on, I'm using it for whoever dives and rolls themselves to the other end of the pitch. Usually it's bleep. But jam strangling fuckpig sounds better 🤣
 
Dogmuck said:
Fuckpig is one of my all time fave insults but adding “jam strangling” is next level brilliant- I’m stealing that @Kikini Bamalam and using it as my own 😜

ETA because of that line I didn’t know if to 🤣 or 😢 on your post
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Ahh don't worry, it is what it is, I had a sob this afternoon, then sorted myself out, got their presents packaged up and ready for 24hr parcel post. I've still got my mum coming and middle kid still lives with us, so we will have some sort of family christmas, plus the absentees are video calling. It's just FOD gloating that really makes my tit itch, it's so unnecessary and lacks class, much like FOD and his ghastly wife ;)
 
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