Escape into the tea & sympathy chat room #3

1
Chita said:
@Dooley Doo
I've asked my friend who watches Repair shop about the mug.
Apparently you need to gently sand the chip then use modelling clay to fill the gap, wait for it to set - prob overnight - sand it gently with very fine sandpaper then paint over it and glaze it.
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Thank you very much for that @Chita. ❤️

I think I can get most of that from the big hardware chain here in Oz.
Is the glaze a paint on or do I have to get it fired. That will be difficult.


I didn't have a very good day at it was Mum's first birthday since she passed.

We got a bookmarker made with the same photos from Mum's funeral memorial booklet, some sayings my Stepdad copied from a couple of memorial photo frames and a heart made up of red roses.
 
Dooley Doo said:
Thank you very much for that @Chita. ❤

I think I can get most of that from the big hardware chain here in Oz.
Is the glaze a paint on or do I have to get it fired. That will be difficult.


I didn't have a very good day at it was Mum's first birthday since she passed.

We got a bookmarker made with the same photos from Mum's funeral memorial booklet, some sayings my Stepdad copied from a couple of memorial photo frames and a heart made up of red roses.
Click to expand...


It doesnt have to be fired. Apparently the glaze just sets. The Repair shop tv show has all this kind of stuff on it. They repair things that have sentimental value. My friend is a big fan and says the expert lady uses a really fine sand paper and a small bit of modelling clay - obvs the more you put in the chip, the more you have to sand down, so smaller piece is best.
Then she uses little paint brushes to put the glaze on.



Sorry you had a bad day.
Birthdays and anniversaries are always hard for the first few years.
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Also...........................

 
Chita said:
It doesnt have to be fired. Apparently the glaze just sets. The Repair shop tv show has all this kind of stuff on it. They repair things that have sentimental value. My friend is a big fan and says the expert lady uses a really fine sand paper and a small bit of modelling clay - obvs the more you put in the chip, the more you have to sand down, so smaller piece is best.
Then she uses little paint brushes to put the glaze on.



Sorry you had a bad day.
Birthdays and anniversaries are always hard for the first few years.
---
Also...........................

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Thank you again @Chita.❤️

I should be able to mend it.
 
Geranium said:
I’ve had a horrible day. I’ve just found out a friend has been saying really nasty and cruel things about me - including that I’m weak and useless. We’ve been friends for 3 years while working for an animal charity and she’s recently become a director and turned on me. I’m devestated .
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Are you certain about this?
Who told you? One person or more than one person?
Are they trustworthy? Are they ganging up on you?
Might they have an agenda and could they benefit from driving a wedge between you and the friend?
They could be jealous of the friendship you and the other person have.
 
Geranium said:
I’ve had a horrible day. I’ve just found out a friend has been saying really nasty and cruel things about me - including that I’m weak and useless. We’ve been friends for 3 years while working for an animal charity and she’s recently become a director and turned on me. I’m devestated .
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@Geranium like @Chita said could someone be jealous of your friendship.
Could they be playing you even for your position or your friend's.

It is mean after 3 years of friendship if true.
 
Geranium said:
I’ve had a horrible day. I’ve just found out a friend has been saying really nasty and cruel things about me - including that I’m weak and useless. We’ve been friends for 3 years while working for an animal charity and she’s recently become a director and turned on me. I’m devestated .
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I'm so sorry @Geranium That's a horrible thing to hear. Like the others said, there may be more to this.
We go back a bit on Tattle and I've always thought of you as caring, sensitive and humble (all traits I really admire). If true she doesn't deserve you, but I'm not sure the person who told you does, either. Sometimes it is best not to repeat things you know will upset someone.
 
Geranium said:
I’ve had a horrible day. I’ve just found out a friend has been saying really nasty and cruel things about me - including that I’m weak and useless. We’ve been friends for 3 years while working for an animal charity and she’s recently become a director and turned on me. I’m devestated .
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I'd speak to the person and tell them that you're very upset as you've heard they've been talking negatively about you, and see what they say. Do it face to face, rather than on the phone, so you can see their reaction.
 
Thank you all for your kind comments and support.
I was all set to do what JAR21 suggests but I’ve been asked by the person to hold off for a bit as she fears the consequences for herself.
As Miscanthus says it was upsetting to hear and maybe it would have been better not to know!
I’m taking some steps back with my volunteering to kind of lick my wounds and see how things pan out.
Thank you all again ❤️
 
Geranium said:
Thank you all for your kind comments and support.
I was all set to do what JAR21 suggests but I’ve been asked by the person to hold off for a bit as she fears the consequences for herself.
As Miscanthus says it was upsetting to hear and maybe it would have been better not to know!
I’m taking some steps back with my volunteering to kind of lick my wounds and see how things pan out.
Thank you all again ❤
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To be honest, even though it hurts to find out, I think it is better to know what people think of you.

Then you won't waste your time on the wrong people.

But do make sure those people are telling the truth.
 
Miscanthus said:
How are you feeling today?
I can't make up my mind about the person who told you what had been said - were they doing you a favour or stirring things?
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I think I believe her - mainly because I’ve noticed a change in my friend’s behaviour towards me - and I’ve heard the way she speaks about others.
I still feel really sad and conflicted.
Thank you for asking.
How are you doing? Xx
 
Sorry I badly need somewhere to vent!

I am so cross and angry at the moment. My father in Law died a week ago in a European country. We were partially estranged, you know the way when you have occasional phone calls to keep in contact...with the effort to keep the contact coming of course from us. (Actually mainly from me, as I still think family should be important!)

He died in squalor and has left a ridiculous mess behind him. He was originally a nice guy, but in the last 20 years, he has basically been a tit dad and a tit grandfather. He chose to retire to a European country and live his life exactly how he wanted to, with no care or consideration for anyone else, except for his beloved wife. He never bothered to come back to the UK to visit anyone, and has grandchildren and great grandchildren he has never met.

My husband went out there to support his mum. I had to stay at home to sort out family stuff. But the last thing I said to him was that I desperately wanted to be there for the funeral, ( My own dad died in 2017, and it really upset me, and I wanted to say goodbye to my father in law, even though he was a pretty tit example of a dad!)

Guess what the funeral is arranged at the convenience of husbands mum and sister at a moments notice, within a week of his death, and no one from the UK can get to the funeral. So I am left feeling completely excluded, and made to feel totally unimportant.

I know I should be there to support my husband at an incredibly difficult time for him..... but my anger and frustration is currently getting in the way.

My darling Mother in law is a selfish cow, she always has been. highlights include going away for the weekend, when my second child was due to be born, when she had promised to babysit the eldest! At least it meant i was only in the hospital for a few hours, as we had to sort out alternative care for my oldest! And now her husband has died, she is old and frail and ill, and will need my husband to help support and look after her.
Scream.
 
Milliemoo99 said:
Sorry I badly need somewhere to vent!

I am so cross and angry at the moment. My father in Law died a week ago in a European country. We were partially estranged, you know the way when you have occasional phone calls to keep in contact...with the effort to keep the contact coming of course from us. (Actually mainly from me, as I still think family should be important!)

He died in squalor and has left a ridiculous mess behind him. He was originally a nice guy, but in the last 20 years, he has basically been a tit dad and a tit grandfather. He chose to retire to a European country and live his life exactly how he wanted to, with no care or consideration for anyone else, except for his beloved wife. He never bothered to come back to the UK to visit anyone, and has grandchildren and great grandchildren he has never met.

My husband went out there to support his mum. I had to stay at home to sort out family stuff. But the last thing I said to him was that I desperately wanted to be there for the funeral, ( My own dad died in 2017, and it really upset me, and I wanted to say goodbye to my father in law, even though he was a pretty tit example of a dad!)

Guess what the funeral is arranged at the convenience of husbands mum and sister at a moments notice, within a week of his death, and no one from the UK can get to the funeral. So I am left feeling completely excluded, and made to feel totally unimportant.

I know I should be there to support my husband at an incredibly difficult time for him..... but my anger and frustration is currently getting in the way.

My darling Mother in law is a selfish cow, she always has been. highlights include going away for the weekend, when my second child was due to be born, when she had promised to babysit the eldest! At least it meant i was only in the hospital for a few hours, and we had to sort out alternative care for my oldest! And now her husband has died, she is old and frail and ill, and will need my husband to help support and look after her.
Scream.
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Just remember that men don't have a clue, and your husband was probably outvoted re the funeral arrangements.

European countries seem to get on with funerals much more quickly than we do, probably because of the heat.

Let the daughter support and look after her - she can't expect either of you to put yourselves out for her, or drop what you're doing and rush to book flights.
 
Milliemoo99 said:
Sorry I badly need somewhere to vent!

I am so cross and angry at the moment. My father in Law died a week ago in a European country. We were partially estranged, you know the way when you have occasional phone calls to keep in contact...with the effort to keep the contact coming of course from us. (Actually mainly from me, as I still think family should be important!)

He died in squalor and has left a ridiculous mess behind him. He was originally a nice guy, but in the last 20 years, he has basically been a tit dad and a tit grandfather. He chose to retire to a European country and live his life exactly how he wanted to, with no care or consideration for anyone else, except for his beloved wife. He never bothered to come back to the UK to visit anyone, and has grandchildren and great grandchildren he has never met.

My husband went out there to support his mum. I had to stay at home to sort out family stuff. But the last thing I said to him was that I desperately wanted to be there for the funeral, ( My own dad died in 2017, and it really upset me, and I wanted to say goodbye to my father in law, even though he was a pretty tit example of a dad!)

Guess what the funeral is arranged at the convenience of husbands mum and sister at a moments notice, within a week of his death, and no one from the UK can get to the funeral. So I am left feeling completely excluded, and made to feel totally unimportant.

I know I should be there to support my husband at an incredibly difficult time for him..... but my anger and frustration is currently getting in the way.

My darling Mother in law is a selfish cow, she always has been. highlights include going away for the weekend, when my second child was due to be born, when she had promised to babysit the eldest! At least it meant i was only in the hospital for a few hours, as we had to sort out alternative care for my oldest! And now her husband has died, she is old and frail and ill, and will need my husband to help support and look after her.
Scream.
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So sorry for your loss- a difficult time for you all- I don’t know where your father in law died- we live in Ireland- if you die today the funeral would be Wednesday ( of course if someone is travelling it can be delayed but generally it all happens the following 2 days)
Try not to take their decision re funeral personally- I am not close to my inlaws and I 100% would not be consulted re arrangements- nor would I consult them if a member of my family died- don’t take it to heart - You could mark the day in your own way- go to a local church and light a candle and say a prayer- In Ireland you can pay the priest to say a mass specifically for the person- I know online religious charity groups also offer this service- perhaps you could make a donation to a charity in the deceased persons name-
Sometimes it is hard being an inlaw - deep breaths- accept it was their decision to make , They were probably not intentionally excluding people just on autopilot organising things - mark the day in some way and when you get hubby home lits of tlc - not an easy time for him either by the sound of it.
 
I'm sorry for your loss @Milliemoo99 and I'm sorry you can't make it out there for the funeral. It's very hard with funerals and almost impossible to make everyone happy with the arrangements. When my brother died, one of the first things my Dad said to me was that his family would make decisions about the funeral that we wouldn't necessarily agree with but it wasn't our gig and we needed to just keep out heads down and let them crack on with it. It was true, we didn't get a say in much at all (which was correct really) but it was a good service that represented him well in the end. And when it came down to it, the funeral wasn't that big a deal in the main scheme of things, the biggest deal was the loss to our family.

Could they live stream it for those that can't get there? I know some places can arrange that? It is sad that you can't be there to support your husband :(
 
@Metropolis I tried to message you on the other thread, but lost the bit for you.
I was trying to say that it is at the clubs and societies where uni students make friends. The flatmates are a random group put together by an algorithm, only some stay friends after the 1st year.
Unis seem to have a ridiculous amount of clubs/ societies and they organise social events from pub crawls to board game nights.
I think most 1st years find uni overwhelming at first and I am sure your son will be fine x
 
The Wicked Lady said:
@Metropolis I tried to message you on the other thread, but lost the bit for you.
I was trying to say that it is at the clubs and societies where uni students make friends. The flatmates are a random group put together by an algorithm, only some stay friends after the 1st year.
Unis seem to have a ridiculous amount of clubs/ societies and they organise social events from pub crawls to board game nights.
I think most 1st years find uni overwhelming at first and I am sure your son will be fine x
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Agreed. My children didn't stay friendly with the people they shared first year accommodation with. But made friends with people from sports clubs and their courses.
 
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