Does anyone hate their job? #3

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I need out but I don't know how. I've reached all I can take - I hate being a developer, I hate how work is getting more and more corporate, I hate how I'm just boooooored.

But I have no idea where to go from here to be honest.

I don't even know what I do want, and that's so sad. It's like these last years have killed all my creativity and curiosity 😭

Maybe I just need to take a timeout. A sabbatical or something.
 
tomato_paste said:
I need out but I don't know how. I've reached all I can take - I hate being a developer, I hate how work is getting more and more corporate, I hate how I'm just boooooored.

But I have no idea where to go from here to be honest.

I don't even know what I do want, and that's so sad. It's like these last years have killed all my creativity and curiosity 😭

Maybe I just need to take a timeout. A sabbatical or something.
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My partner is a software developer as well and did take some time out for the exact same reason. He loves coding, but corporate can really take the joy out of it. We are lucky and could afford him taking some time off and he enjoyed it so much, saying that not only did it help creativity but also code quality, as it gets you out of ingrained behavior.
I would say, if you can, try to do it, maybe it’s not being a dev but just the company and its workings that aren’t for you anymore. Right now also Advent of Code is on, which many seem to enjoy for a fun creative way of coding for something not related to work.
 
FolderDuvet said:
Currently not very much enjoying my job, but not sure what to do about it? Any advice would be very welcome as this was my first job out of uni and I've no idea what to do.

I've been here over 2 years now and while I liked it originally, it's been feeling very heavy over the last 12 months. I feel like I've not really been improving (something confirmed by my manager last week when he pointed out that he didn't think I was where I should be). I'm not sure that's entirely my fault as for 7 months of the last year I was on contract doing things that were very much outside my scope (not sure how to explain it without giving away my company. Think about if your job was writing recipes or designing cookware, but then you spent 7 months as a line cook. That's kind of what it was).

Not that I wasn't grateful for the experience (it certainly taught me stuff about our business, and has given me insight into other jobs and how larger companies operate) but it was hugely stressful and didn't help me improve in our core areas. It's made me feel horridly behind.

But then I've also realised that I couldn't give a toss about what our company does. If I had a particular interest in computer science then maybe I could stick it, but I don't care about that either. I've been programming since I was 12 and I've just realised I don't like it for its own sake.

The problem with my position is it's weirdly general but also weirdly specific. I couldn't step into software eng easily because I haven't picked up any languages that are used in that. I can't necessarily step into data management (which is something I may like doing) as I haven't enough experience on that side of things. I'd like to improve by the current listlessness my job gives me just leaves me completely drained at the end of each day. I can't even fathom job hunting (I did a small amount around march time but it was dire).

I come into work every week trying to make it a good week. I really do. I start the week with a good attitude, but by the end of monday I want to die. It's not like my employer is bad, he's good about leave and he pays me very well. I just. I just can't force myself to give a tit.

I hope people here understand. Whenever I talk to people about it, they just hit me with the "oh that's how work is" "you have it so good, why are you complaining"

What I kind of want to do is take a year out to do something like WWOOF, but then I do slightly worry that it would be a bad decision.

I think I would like something to do which is a process I can master. I don't feel like I have any sort of mastery (or that mastery is even possible) in my current position.
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I've come back to update that I'm still in this job. I'm currently in the loos trying to mitigate a panic attack. I've been put forward for a contract that is really out of my depth and because of some fuckery there's no definite plan on it and all the uncertainty has given me two weeks of being unable to sleep, and unable to eat. I've been getting mouth ulcers and skin irritation from the stress. I keep thinking I should throw myself in front of a train or something.

I'm going to quit. People keep telling me not to quit without something lined up, but my notice is 3 months and I just can't keep living like this. I have some savings so if I don't find anything at all (or have to take up something much worse paid) then i can live for a bit. I have a fairly low cost situation at the moment, and no responsibilities, so I'm just going to go for it.

Worst comes to worst I move back in with mum and dad.

Wish me luck.
 
FolderDuvet said:
I've come back to update that I'm still in this job. I'm currently in the loos trying to mitigate a panic attack. I've been put forward for a contract that is really out of my depth and because of some fuckery there's no definite plan on it and all the uncertainty has given me two weeks of being unable to sleep, and unable to eat. I've been getting mouth ulcers and skin irritation from the stress. I keep thinking I should throw myself in front of a train or something.

I'm going to quit. People keep telling me not to quit without something lined up, but my notice is 3 months and I just can't keep living like this. I have some savings so if I don't find anything at all (or have to take up something much worse paid) then i can live for a bit. I have a fairly low cost situation at the moment, and no responsibilities, so I'm just going to go for it.

Worst comes to worst I move back in with mum and dad.

Wish me luck.
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I'm really sorry to read that you are not happy at the moment, but please, please try to get some help, your post genuinely makes me worried. Is there someone you can chat to or maybe get signed off for a bit to take the pressure out?
I'm not a fan of a "never quit without having something else lined up", which I appreciate is incredibly privileged to say, but I've seen how badly a job can affect you and also effectively hinder finding something new. Especially if you have long notice periods! If you're not in the right state of mind in doing applications and interviews, it becomes a lot harder to find a new role. It sounds like you already made a decision there, which seems good and also very doable with having two backup plans (low cost living situation and worst case moving back in with parents).
 
Codiaeum said:
I'm really sorry to read that you are not happy at the moment, but please, please try to get some help, your post genuinely makes me worried. Is there someone you can chat to or maybe get signed off for a bit to take the pressure out?
I'm not a fan of a "never quit without having something else lined up", which I appreciate is incredibly privileged to say, but I've seen how badly a job can affect you and also effectively hinder finding something new. Especially if you have long notice periods! If you're not in the right state of mind in doing applications and interviews, it becomes a lot harder to find a new role. It sounds like you already made a decision there, which seems good and also very doable with having two backup plans (low cost living situation and worst case moving back in with parents).
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Hey, thank you for your kind words. I didn't quite realise just how much of "in the grip" of a panic attack I was when I wrote that, but I was just cresting the wave apparently. I called my mum and dad in a blind panic, and they talked me out of handing in my notice there and then. I talked to my boss, and he seemed genuinely understanding and we worked out some actual steps I can take which (hopefully when I start them) will make me feel a bit better about things and less like the world is imploding. I'm on my way home right now and I'm working from home the rest of the week. Which hopefully should help me manage a bit.

I'm still looking to leave, definitely. I've got an application out that (if it turns into anything) should be far more up my street.
 
How do people feel about others coming into work full of flu?! I don’t work with food and do work in an office but I don’t think you should come in if you have the flu. Have a manager who was full of it today and I simply said I don’t think you should come in if you’re so ill and stuffy and they snapped at me - that they don’t have any other option?! As if I was the bad person for suggesting it
 
I've been in my job for 4 months and I can't take it anymore.

For a bit of context, I am awaiting an ADHD assessment.

I work a very slow paced office job. My title is project coordinator but basically that means I'm an low level admin assistant. I just do all the grunt work nobody can be arsed doing, like forwarding emails from a mailbox, downloading documents from portals because people can't be arsed finding the password, and formatting documents for people.

My workload is very light. I constantly ask if there is things to do. 9/10 times the answer is no. I work in an office where there is a BIG presenteeism culture, working from home discouraged because you've got to show face in the office. Earphones are frowned upon.

It's a very quiet office. No chit chat, nobody really speaks. Could hear a pin drop if nobody's on calls. People only speak on Teams calls. I find myself getting very restless and unsettled at my desk. It's a struggle masking and pretending to look busy. It's draining.

Doesn't help there is a massive massive social difference. Completely different tax brackets. My work know about the ADHD possibility (I had to disclose it on my pre employment questionnaire) and I brought it up in a 1 to 1 and was told ' aw if you struggle to focus,why don't you book a holiday somewhere so you have to pay it up monthly and use that as motivation?' I don't think booking a week in Dubai will sort it out. Should also say, I've been told that it's not looking likely that I'll be kept on after probation. Yet this still was mentioned. It's just really weird dynamic. I'm paid about a pound and hour over minimum wage, 24 and can't afford to move out yet you'd never think there was a cost of living crisis.
 
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Jas28 said:
How do people feel about others coming into work full of flu?! I don’t work with food and do work in an office but I don’t think you should come in if you have the flu. Have a manager who was full of it today and I simply said I don’t think you should come in if you’re so ill and stuffy and they snapped at me - that they don’t have any other option?! As if I was the bad person for suggesting it
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I think if I could I would go in due to the sickness policy at work, I'd want to save my sickness for when I couldn't go in physically
 
Jas28 said:
How do people feel about others coming into work full of flu?! I don’t work with food and do work in an office but I don’t think you should come in if you have the flu. Have a manager who was full of it today and I simply said I don’t think you should come in if you’re so ill and stuffy and they snapped at me - that they don’t have any other option?! As if I was the bad person for suggesting it
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I think it's incredibly selfish of them, coming in and spreading it around. People don't really seem to give a tit anymore though. My H is head of dept and if any of the managers under him came in like that, he'd read them the riot act
 
Princess of Scots said:
I've been in my job for 4 months and I can't take it anymore.

For a bit of context, I am awaiting an ADHD assessment.

I work a very slow paced office job. My title is project coordinator but basically that means I'm an low level admin assistant. I just do all the grunt work nobody can be arsed doing, like forwarding emails from a mailbox, downloading documents from portals because people can't be arsed finding the password, and formatting documents for people.

My workload is very light. I constantly ask if there is things to do. 9/10 times the answer is no. I work in an office where there is a BIG presenteeism culture, working from home discouraged because you've got to show face in the office. Earphones are frowned upon.

It's a very quiet office. No chit chat, nobody really speaks. Could hear a pin drop if nobody's on calls. People only speak on Teams calls. I find myself getting very restless and unsettled at my desk. It's a struggle masking and pretending to look busy. It's draining.

Doesn't help there is a massive massive social difference. Completely different tax brackets. My work know about the ADHD possibility (I had to disclose it on my pre employment questionnaire) and I brought it up in a 1 to 1 and was told ' aw if you struggle to focus,why don't you book a holiday somewhere so you have to pay it up monthly and use that as motivation?' I don't think booking a week in Dubai will sort it out. Should also say, I've been told that it's not looking likely that I'll be kept on after probation. Yet this still was mentioned. It's just really weird dynamic. I'm paid about a pound and hour over minimum wage, 24 and can't afford to move out yet you'd never think there was a cost of living crisis.
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I'm not familiar with employment rights and procedures in the UK (I assume you are in the UK) but I find it weird that you had to disclose a potential diagnosis in an employment questionnaire and it seems to be held against you and you aren't receiving the right support for it either. E.g. headphones, even in a very quiet environment, shouldn't be frowned upon if they help you focus (and obviously, they shouldn't distract the others by being set too loud or by watching a movie, etc).
Do you see yourself staying in this job and if so, what would need to change for you to want to stick with it? Is it e.g. a faster pace or a generally higher workload?
You've said that it is likely they won't take you on after probation - has there been a formal review at half-probation time where reasons and improvement areas were discussed? Simply blurting it out like that is an incredibly tit move. Also - probation time goes both ways. If you expected the work to be different, e.g. by being given actual work and not just "others cba to find a password and forward a mail", that is genuine feedback about the job itself. The deal is work for money, and if they fail to give you work (and you do want more work) they should hear that.
 
Codiaeum said:
I'm not familiar with employment rights and procedures in the UK (I assume you are in the UK) but I find it weird that you had to disclose a potential diagnosis in an employment questionnaire and it seems to be held against you and you aren't receiving the right support for it either. E.g. headphones, even in a very quiet environment, shouldn't be frowned upon if they help you focus (and obviously, they shouldn't distract the others by being set too loud or by watching a movie, etc).
Do you see yourself staying in this job and if so, what would need to change for you to want to stick with it? Is it e.g. a faster pace or a generally higher workload?
You've said that it is likely they won't take you on after probation - has there been a formal review at half-probation time where reasons and improvement areas were discussed? Simply blurting it out like that is an incredibly tit move. Also - probation time goes both ways. If you expected the work to be different, e.g. by being given actual work and not just "others cba to find a password and forward a mail", that is genuine feedback about the job itself. The deal is work for money, and if they fail to give you work (and you do want more work) they should hear that.
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Regarding the potential diagnosis, occupational health have said nothing needs to be in place until I have a formal diagnosis,so they can hold this against me. I don't know if this is significant but it's a very male dominated, quite old fashioned in a way in certain attitudes.

Honestly, I don't see myself staying in this job. I need a faster pace. I've only ever worked in very fast paced places and that's where I seem to work better. I've never had problems in any of my previous jobs.

I have had a half probation meeting where I was discussed to be 'too quiet ' and not engaging with the team enough. My preference to contact others via email was also discussed, they would prefer if I called people, cited my email usage as 'not being enough of a liaison point', though they did praise me for always replying and actioning any emails I receive quickly. I should say I have tried to integrate to the team, I've tried to talk away but I get nothing back.

Before my half probation meeting I was completely unaware that they had this impression of me. I had two 1 to 1 meetings beforehand and none of this was brought up until my half probation. I did bring up that it wasn't what I was expecting, the job role to me was described as being involved within the project management team. It didn't read like an admin assistant role at all. I have told them that but they said that now they have a graduate who started after me there is no provision for my role to evolve or undertake new tasks.

I do constantly ask if anyone's needing help and if I can get involved in things but I'm always told I'm not needed. It's as if the graduate has taken priority and I'm just left with all the dross. As soon as the graduate started my work dried up. Should say the graduate and I have the same job title.
 
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Does anyone have an example of what to put in handing notice into hr by email. Do you usually cc in your manager and do they calculate your final day after you’ve handed in. Also is it wise to wait until you’ve signed the contract from the new position before handing in notice? I’m just worried as obv they would ask for reference at current job and contact them before offering the job and contract so they would know before I leave and what if a reference were to jeopardise it because they don’t want you to leave, does anyone have experience with that happening before
 
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Jas28 said:
Does anyone have an example of what to put in handing notice into hr by email. Do you usually cc in your manager and do they calculate your final day after you’ve handed in. Also is it wise to wait until you’ve signed the contract from the new position before handing in notice? I’m just worried as obv they would ask for reference at current job and contact them before offering the job and contract so they would know before I leave and what if a reference were to jeopardise it because they don’t want you to leave, does anyone have experience with that happening before
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Normally you'd inform your manager verbally and then hand in the notice in written format to them + HR, usually this is a more or less brief "terminating contract by date X, please confirm" and that's it. HR would then get back to you confirming the last day of employment and can calculate outstanding leave, etc.

I was let go yesterday from a job that I was supposed to start in January. I had done all the "right" things, waited to sign the new contract before handing in my notice and everything. It didn't do me any good, there's no security, although in most cases, yes, people will tell you to not resign before having something new lined up. It really depends on your area and also how quickly you can find something new, your financial situation, etc. But - no guarantees. I haven't had the case that someone got a bad reference out of spite/not wanting them to leave.
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Princess of Scots said:
Regarding the potential diagnosis, occupational health have said nothing needs to be in place until I have a formal diagnosis,so they can hold this against me. I don't know if this is significant but it's a very male dominated, quite old fashioned in a way in certain attitudes.

Honestly, I don't see myself staying in this job. I need a faster pace. I've only ever worked in very fast paced places and that's where I seem to work better. I've never had problems in any of my previous jobs.

I have had a half probation meeting where I was discussed to be 'too quiet ' and not engaging with the team enough. My preference to contact others via email was also discussed, they would prefer if I called people, cited my email usage as 'not being enough of a liaison point', though they did praise me for always replying and actioning any emails I receive quickly. I should say I have tried to integrate to the team, I've tried to talk away but I get nothing back.

Before my half probation meeting I was completely unaware that they had this impression of me. I had two 1 to 1 meetings beforehand and none of this was brought up until my half probation. I did bring up that it wasn't what I was expecting, the job role to me was described as being involved within the project management team. It didn't read like an admin assistant role at all. I have told them that but they said that now they have a graduate who started after me there is no provision for my role to evolve or undertake new tasks.

I do constantly ask if anyone's needing help and if I can get involved in things but I'm always told I'm not needed. It's as if the graduate has taken priority and I'm just left with all the dross. As soon as the graduate started my work dried up. Should say the graduate and I have the same job title.
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I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds indeed like you were sold a job that essentially doesn't exist, or that was simply taken over by someone else and it is leaving you with the bits they can't be bothered doing. As harsh as it sounds, it seems unlikely to me to change - if you are asking for work and aren't receiving any, plus the social dynamics in the team also leave you out, I'd take that as the sign to start looking for something else. You have tried, you have indicated preferences on how to do something, it seems like you got unlucky by hitting a team that is unwilling to accommodate you and accept some freshness and that might never have even needed more than one person ❤
 
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I’ve actually read your direct manager/ supervisor isn’t supposed to give you a reference, it’s just HR with the dates you’ve worked there
 
Codiaeum said:
I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds indeed like you were sold a job that essentially doesn't exist, or that was simply taken over by someone else and it is leaving you with the bits they can't be bothered doing. As harsh as it sounds, it seems unlikely to me to change - if you are asking for work and aren't receiving any, plus the social dynamics in the team also leave you out, I'd take that as the sign to start looking for something else. You have tried, you have indicated preferences on how to do something, it seems like you got unlucky by hitting a team that is unwilling to accommodate you and accept some freshness and that might never have even needed more than one person
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I've been looking. It's tough because I don't know what I could do. I know I'm only 24 but I feel like I've exhausted most of my options and what I fancy trying I probably shouldn't or couldn't do.

I just feel like an utter failure in life.
 
Codiaeum said:
Normally you'd inform your manager verbally and then hand in the notice in written format to them + HR, usually this is a more or less brief "terminating contract by date X, please confirm" and that's it. HR would then get back to you confirming the last day of employment and can calculate outstanding leave, etc.

I was let go yesterday from a job that I was supposed to start in January. I had done all the "right" things, waited to sign the new contract before handing in my notice and everything. It didn't do me any good, there's no security, although in most cases, yes, people will tell you to not resign before having something new lined up. It really depends on your area and also how quickly you can find something new, your financial situation, etc. But - no guarantees. I haven't had the case that someone got a bad reference out of spite/not wanting them to leave.
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I'm so sorry to read this, it sounds indeed like you were sold a job that essentially doesn't exist, or that was simply taken over by someone else and it is leaving you with the bits they can't be bothered doing. As harsh as it sounds, it seems unlikely to me to change - if you are asking for work and aren't receiving any, plus the social dynamics in the team also leave you out, I'd take that as the sign to start looking for something else. You have tried, you have indicated preferences on how to do something, it seems like you got unlucky by hitting a team that is unwilling to accommodate you and accept some freshness and that might never have even needed more than one person ❤
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Hang on… you got let go from your new job? Why!! 🙁 if you don’t mind me asking.
 
Codiaeum said:
Indeed yes, as bonkers as that sounds. Was supposed to to start in January, have signed a contract and everything, now was told that due to financial circumstances, my position (and others) is immediately cut.
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They should pay you in lieu of the notice period outlined in the contract. ACAS can help advise. I know it's not much but if you can force them to pay what they are obligated to, at least it's something!
 
SpaceshipEarth said:
They should pay you in lieu of the notice period outlined in the contract. ACAS can help advise. I know it's not much but if you can force them to pay what they are obligated to, at least it's something!
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I'm not based in the UK, but i still appreciate you looking out for me ❤ I might get a minimal severance and then become eligible for unemployment benefit. I am debating whether I should try to sue, as I did make some financial decisions about equity options in my last job based on assuming that I had a new job... but I'm not sure whether there'd be any success in something like that. Plus not sure I want to put myself through it.
 
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