Dead Parent Club

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Sooks31 said:
It’s my mums birthday today. I’m 34 and she’s been dead for 26 years. I’m always okay, but the older I get the more I feel the sadness. I think it’s because I am now older than she was with two daughters of my own, it hit differently. Xxx
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I hope you get lots of signs your mum is around you still and you do something nice to celebrate her. being ur mum 💜..It’s so hard being so young and loosing ur mum ..I ask why all the time …Why didn’t we get more time with them .
 
It’s just over 6 months since my mum died. The first 2 to 3 months I was a bit numb, I even questioned whether I was a bad person as I wasn’t feeling much. I reasoned maybe because she wasn’t suffering any more I was relieved. It really hit me at about 4 months in and I fell apart. I also had some issues with my daughter and I remember one day just going to walk on a cliff and seriously considering ending it all because I couldn’t bear the pain. I went to the GP and started seeing a therapist. It’s now over 6 months and I’ve been feeling more normal for the last few weeks. I’ve also had to be dealing with probate and selling her house which we should hopefully complete on before Christmas. I’m sadder when I’m at her house because I feel her absence more. I think I will be relieved when it is sold but it might upset me - I just don’t know.
 
skronkywildcat said:
It’s just over 6 months since my mum died. The first 2 to 3 months I was a bit numb, I even questioned whether I was a bad person as I wasn’t feeling much. I reasoned maybe because she wasn’t suffering any more I was relieved. It really hit me at about 4 months in and I fell apart. I also had some issues with my daughter and I remember one day just going to walk on a cliff and seriously considering ending it all because I couldn’t bear the pain. I went to the GP and started seeing a therapist. It’s now over 6 months and I’ve been feeling more normal for the last few weeks. I’ve also had to be dealing with probate and selling her house which we should hopefully complete on before Christmas. I’m sadder when I’m at her house because I feel her absence more. I think I will be relieved when it is sold but it might upset me - I just don’t know.
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I think it’s normal to feel a bit relieved for some people having seen your loved 1 so unwell ..
But like you after my mum passed away ..I’ll be honest I didn’t think I could carry on living it was so painful..And i thought about ending my life but having my kids stopped me as I didnt want them to feel the pain of losing me knowing how losing my mum had made me feel 💔 .. I still miss my mum so much and it’s been 9 years .. I always feel so jealous of people who have there mums still ..I wish I didn’t ..But I think others peoples lives are great if they have there mums …
 
skronkywildcat said:
It’s just over 6 months since my mum died. The first 2 to 3 months I was a bit numb, I even questioned whether I was a bad person as I wasn’t feeling much. I reasoned maybe because she wasn’t suffering any more I was relieved. It really hit me at about 4 months in and I fell apart. I also had some issues with my daughter and I remember one day just going to walk on a cliff and seriously considering ending it all because I couldn’t bear the pain. I went to the GP and started seeing a therapist. It’s now over 6 months and I’ve been feeling more normal for the last few weeks. I’ve also had to be dealing with probate and selling her house which we should hopefully complete on before Christmas. I’m sadder when I’m at her house because I feel her absence more. I think I will be relieved when it is sold but it might upset me - I just don’t know.
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I have been in a similar situation. My Mams house sold last Friday. Personally I found that going through the house and sorting out all of my Mam's things was harder than the actual sale going through. I kept trying to remind myself - a house is just a house, it's not the person. It isn't easy though ❤️
 
It’s not is it? I’m sorry you had to go through the same. We exchanged on Thursday and we are completing next Friday. Today I don’t know, I keep thinking about what she went through in those last 9 months. I honestly didn’t know a disease could be so cruel. It took everything away from her bit by bit. She was a good person and it seems so unfair. I know the good don’t get rewarded with long healthy lives - but I just wish she hadn’t suffered. I think if I ever found out I had a stage 4 brain tumour I’d just take steroids for a month and have a few weeks of normality and then kill myself. The way the treatment has been exactly the same since the 80s and most people live about a year - it’s rubbish. There is some hope, an Australian doctor tried a new treatment on himself and he is now 18 months with no recurrence. I just hope they start a clinical trial soon, and it works so people with brain tumours can have a better shot at life. I also thought they were so rare but it feels like I hear about people getting them all the time at the moment.
 
I didn’t know this thread existed, I am also in the club. My mum died and then two years later my dad died on the same date (February 10th). They were divorced for decades so it wasn’t some cosmic love thing. The universe just felt like being a twit. My step-dad also died six months after my mum.

This all happened in my mid-twenties and I’m 40 now, so I’ve been parentless for a while.
 
Idkk said:
I didn’t know this thread existed, I am also in the club. My mum died and then two years later my dad died on the same date (February 10th). They were divorced for decades so it wasn’t some cosmic love thing. The universe just felt like being a twit. My step-dad also died six months after my mum.

This all happened in my mid-twenties and I’m 40 now, so I’ve been parentless for a while.
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Am sorry ur in the horrible club 2 I hate it 😢 Can i ask do you get jealous of friends and people you know who still have both their parents? I do and I feel bad for it but can’t help it …
 
Purple star said:
Am sorry ur in the horrible club 2 I hate it 😢 Can i ask do you get jealous of friends and people you know who still have both their parents? I do and I feel bad for it but can’t help it …
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I am very jealous of people my age with mums (I still have my dad but it’s a difficult relationship so he’s not actually a dad to me, just a responsibility that I owe to my mum). I went for a Christmas meal with some friends and when I got home I burst into tears on my husband because they’d talked about how annoying their mums are at this time of year buying too many presents for their kids, how they’d persuaded older kids to have a family photo taken “for nanny” and all of their plans to spend their Christmas days with their loving and supportive parents. Ugh.
 
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