Ashley James #35 Poor Alf and Ada, Mum’s a dick and Dad’s got no balls

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Just shows she’s a compulsive liar. Pre covid I had an awful birth and during covid I have a positive birth no restrictions. At some point you need to move on. She had things other wouldn’t have had - she successfully breastfed, the midwife’s didn’t have the time or staff to help me breastfeed and therefore I couldn’t but I don’t sit around crying about it. I have a life to live. Life’s not perfect.
 
Also I don’t think she realises that epidurals are not guaranteed- nor any other pain relief! I was induced and in full blown labour on the labour ward but there were no beds for me on the labour ward. Induction ward could only give me paracetamol. I eventually got down to the labour ward but no anaesthetists available for epidural due to lots of emergencies. Thankfully at the very last minute one got out of surgery and I managed to get one just before starting to push
 
kiraaarrrr said:
my daughters 2 months older than Alf, there were no restrictions at that point.
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Mine is one month younger and there were lots of restrictions.
I believe it was down to individual NHS trusts to set their own rules. They were changing all the time.

Off the top of my head…

Some midwife appts were switched to phone calls the rest were done alone.
Early pregnancy unit scan was alone. The two main scans I think were allowed a partner (he didn’t come as I’d had one privately) but later growth scans were alone. Could have a Covid free partner for ECV.
Any reduced movement monitoring etc was alone.
My pre baby health visitor home check appt was cancelled and made a video call.
For birth you to be in active labour to have a birthing partner with you, said bp had to be Covid free, all had to wear masks when not in bed area, bp had to remain with you so couldn’t leave for food/extra supplies, post labour bp had to leave after visiting hours/a reasonable time, only one visitor who’d been the original bp and only in visiting hours (2-5pm iirc) which was particularly shite as if they were later hours he could have still worked instead of wasting paternity leave.

Post baby 1 midwife home visit to check stitches but others phone calls. Physio appts were all phone calls. HV were phone/video calls inc breast feeding support which was pretty useless and confronting trying to show a nipple latch via video.

I dread to think of the babies & struggling mothers who slipped through the net from lack of health visitor home checks.
Ash hired a private lactation expert, I wonder if her magical BF journey would have been the same if she was relying on the NHS.
 
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I have a child 3/4 months older than Alfie & my partner wasn’t allowed to join me in hospital until I was in active labour.
Thought I was, but got examined and sent home, we then ended up delivering our baby at home with no assistance as I gave birth within 90 mins of being turned away from hospital.

Obviously not ideal, thankfully we were all ok and I’ve been able to appreciate these were unusual times for the NHS and the midwives were (mostly) doing their best.

I seriously think Ash would benefit from therapy about this (and quite a few other issues).
 
Giving birth in Holland isn’t what changed her sister’s birth experience. Yes the aftercare might be great (although we’ve heard it’s actually quite OTT in some cases and rubbish in others) but the actual birth experience is potluck.

Good job Ash isn’t planning another or she’d be off to move in with her sister just to get the same care!
 
There were definitely plenty of restrictions at the time Alf was born and right after. I didn’t give birth until the summer of 2021 and there were loads of restrictions throughout my pregnancy.
The issue is Ashley now trying to make her story more dramatic after the fact. She has already posted so much about her birth and Tommy not being with her at the start has never been mentioned so it’s safe to assume it’s total bullshit..
 
Ray_of_Sunshine said:
View attachment 2551984 qWho’s going to tell her? 🤣
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She actually hates motherhood,doesn’t she? What is this ‘phase’ she keeps referring to? She’s never specific-is it the lack of sleep,toddler tantrums? It appears to just be having children in general, which is really sad tbh. Her children are at a lovely age-the toddler stage is difficult but also really rewarding and Ada appears to be a happy baby ( I always loved the age she is )- she’s got no idea what’s coming down the track.
 
I actually think part of the reason she ‘hates this age’ with Ada (and hates all of it going forward), is because the freebies dry up. She likes the newborn phase because brands send her gifts and free stuff. At this stage, Ada isn’t the cute newborn anymore and frankly no one cares. So she becomes miserable and blames it on the ‘mental load’. Ashley is shallow and vacuous and I genuinely think it could be as simple as this…
 
Sage245 said:
I actually think part of the reason she ‘hates this age’ with Ada (and hates all of it going forward), is because the freebies dry up. She likes the newborn phase because brands send her gifts and free stuff. At this stage, Ada isn’t the cute newborn anymore and frankly no one cares. So she becomes miserable and blames it on the ‘mental load’. Ashley is shallow and vacuous and I genuinely think it could be as simple as this…
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Exactly and also the fact that you get a lot of attention with a newborn & it’s also a great excuse to not do much. She’s naturally really lazy which makes me laugh for someone who is self-employed.
 
sohomum said:
So much to unpack in last night’s ramble but first - wtf? “Tomorrow will be yesterday someday”?!

Tomorrow will be yesterday well, the day after tomorrow? How can people make something so completely pointless sound so deep and meaningful 🤣

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Also reading this broke my heart for Alf yet again because clearly she thinks the trauma of giving birth to him wasn’t worth it 💔

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I completely understand that birth is horrific and traumatising for probably most women, but this post really is seriously offensive to the NHS and the fact most of the staff and midwives genuinely care. There are massive problems with the NHS (why doesn’t she talk about how much higher the risks are for black women when giving birth?!) but can she not take a step back and think how incredible it is we have the healthcare that we do in the UK. We all know the lies and inconsistencies she spouts when talking about her first birth but she has also raved about Ada’s birth and how healing it was for her. She didn’t need to travel to Holland for that experience. I had a traumatic first birth (in April 2020 may I add) and mistakes were made but to call the general treatment by NHS maternity services “barbaric” and “appalling” is completely unnecessary. She needs serious therapy.

Finally this post she has put on her stories -

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Of course this resonates with Ash and I think we can all appreciate elements of this but it just shows what a narcissist she is. She basically blames struggling postpartum because suddenly things aren’t all about her anymore and she has the reality of looking after a baby whilst not being “protected or cared for”.
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Maybe she woukd
Ray_of_Sunshine said:
View attachment 2551984 qWho’s going to tell her? 🤣
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The way she talks about Brentwood is like it's bloody Mars or something! Oh suffering Christ she's such a whinge bag. She does nothing at all to help herself does she? Just moans on about the same thing while counting down the days till she's not a mother. She does the absolute bare minimum for those kids. How Tommy hasn't buried her under the bee's zebra crossing before now is beyond me.
 
Quick Ash, play a doting mum! 3,2,1 action!

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Off topic sorry but thank you all for the love about my dog. She had surgery Friday and came home today ❤️ Rocking a cone, not allowed to go up stairs or for a walk for two whole weeks, but so much relief that she’s okay.
She was supposed to stay in until tomorrow but my drama queen was on hunger strike 🙈 so she’s been discharged early.

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