Alfies Irrelevant Deyes of Arrested Development

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Alfie has been banging on about bringing out a game for months and how he hopes it’s out by Christmas. It won’t be, at least not in this century.

Sure he said it was a card game, sorry, but with Alfie’s money and resources how long does that take to produce once you’ve got the idea.

It’ll be a copy of some other popular card game no doubt. Shitface packaged as that rather than a normal pack of cards or something (would explain why they are CONSTANTLY playin shitface on vlogs too. You heard it here first ;)
 
The PS mini looks awful doubt he will play it twice. remember he bought a gaming PC and set up a twitch just to stream a couple of times then it's never seen again.

Didn't he say he had 4 mobile games coming out 1-2 years ago? It would take a company a day or two to slap their images onto a generic game clone and then release it to pump the minions for every penny. His motivational and inspirational videos are jaw dropping bad, he's shameless to think he can speak with any authority. Like a lottery millionaire saying how easy it is to become rich, just buy a ticket.
 
Lol I want to know if any of you guys that have Twitter voted on Alfie’s poll of whether he should play his PlayStation Mini now or play it on x-mas day as a ‘gift from Zoe’.

I hope you guys vote the latter option. Haha. Anyone think its weird that Alfie was told off by (his second mum) Zoe that he should wait three weeks to play his gaming console even though he bought it? What a clever idea unwrapping a gift on x-mas day that Alfie already knows about and bought for himself. Are they five or twenty-five? ?

I found it very telling that when Alfie walks into their house the first thing he asks Zoe is what did she buy for dinner. His excuse was their fridge was empty from their Bruges trip (which was only three days) but lbr Zoe didn’t want to cook like every other night. Best hostess ever!
 
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  • He has taken up meditation.....Alfiestole is back
  • "I am so bad at eating breakfast" --- because you are soooo busy
  • So Holly(the business manager) made a list of elderly people who don't get many visitors and the office wrote some letters -- nice, but you could see them (probably too much for Zoe since she barely sees her own family)
  • Zoe buying milk for the house made Alfie very happy --- I am sure all of us with our busy lives can get a pint of milk
  • Alfie moaned Amazon threw his parcel over the fence --- spoiler: Zoe actually told them to do it via the intercom
  • The Amazon purchase was a PS1 (Which I guessed) --- and he wanted to ring Poppy to come to play with him? --- is he 25 or 5??
  • Alfie mentioned he got a PS1 when he was young, but his parents wrapped it up until Christmas --- Zoe wanted to do the same with the PS1 mini he received --- she really is his mother
  • "We have had no food in the fridge since Bruges, no milk....I kept forgetting" --- how is he an adult?
  • People say Alfie looks like Russell Brand??
 

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Tonights Vlog, is going to be late, but don't you worry..... Made it to day 5...

Tonights Vlog is apparently, buying a tree, putting the tree up without breaking up (Alfie's words) and calling Joe and Diane out for a dance off (Using Joe's platform for the viewwwwws)

He's also tweeted that he wants to film a drunk 'whatever his tit podcast secret thing is called' and who do we want on it. Please:
a. Zoe drunk
b. Don't bother

(his replies are literally all Joe, Mark, Dianne, Zoe..... his fanbase are as predictable as him)
 
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Srh1984 said:
Tonights Vlog, is going to be late, but don't you worry..... Made it to day 5...

Tonights Vlog is apparently, buying a tree, putting the tree up without breaking up (Alfie's words) and calling Joe and Diane out for a dance off (Using Joe's platform for the viewwwwws)

(his replies are literally all Joe, Mark, Dianne, Zoe..... his fanbase are as predictable as him)
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He wants a dance off with Joe and Dianne? Does he not understand that dance offs should generally be between groups of simliar ability (except when it was Ashley vs Graeme on Strictly - that was no contest ?). Alfie and presumably Zoe couldn’t dance off against Joe and Dianne for tit.

Clearly desperate for attention and views, jealous that Joe has got mainstream attention and (barring sad trolls talking about his body appearance) gained a lot of respect and credibility from a new group of people.
 
thenomad said:
I found it very telling that when Alfie walks into their house the first thing he asks Zoe is what did she buy for dinner. His excuse was their fridge was empty from their Bruges trip (which was only three days) but lbr Zoe didn’t want to cook like every other night. Best hostess ever!
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He is ALWAYS trying to justify their eating habits by saying the fridge is empty. Shows he knows that they are really just lazy.
 
Horatio said:
He is ALWAYS trying to justify their eating habits by saying the fridge is empty. Shows he knows that they are really just lazy.
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They are SO lazy. Fine they don’t have to go to the supermarket, but they can easily order groceries online and get them delivered the next day, delivered at a time convenient for them and not have to leave the house. They don’t even do that. Getting an online food shop is the most convenient thing for people when they just get back from holiday.
 
STJ_95 said:
They are SO lazy. Fine they don’t have to go to the supermarket, but they can easily order groceries online and get them delivered the next day, delivered at a time convenient for them and not have to leave the house. They don’t even do that. Getting an online food shop is the most convenient thing for people when they just get back from holiday.
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This! With all the crap they buy online almost everyday I don't get why they haven't utilized online grocery shopping already. It takes the same amount of effort as calling up for food to be delivered. I think it's because food isn't a priority for them, at least eating well. Fast processed food tastes good to them and it's what they find in comfort in so why change the way they constantly spend money or think about being environmentally conscious (with all that wasted plastic from containers). I'd get if they both didn't have the time to cook but that's not even the case. They set their own schedule! If they had time to put up six seven Christmas trees, they have time to cook at least one meal at home. Seriously.
 
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  • "Today just me and Zoe are getting the tree, the rest couldn't get a day off" -- what do Alfie's parents and Soppy do?? He also seems annoyed it was him and Zoe like he hates spending time with her
  • Alfie wonders if the Christmas tree can be delivered "for a fiver" --- is he being serious??
  • Alfie says the mud looks like a baby's diarrhoea, Zoe asks if he's ever changed a nappy/diaper, Alfie "I volunteered at a nursery for 6 months, so I probably did" - Think you'd remember if you did
  • Alfie decides to jump on kids ride in the forest as he screams "SEND IT" --- he is so annoying
  • "I can tell I will be the kinda Dad that will try build this when we have kids" --- what's the children talk about now??
  • Alfie and Zoe make "dance moves" in their living room - showing how unfit Zoe is, even Alfie comments "you can't even straighten your legs"
  • Flogging the merch again
  • New episode of "The Secrets Out" -- "guest you would never expect is gonna be on the podcast" - JaackMate, TrueGeordie?
 
boredjess said:
He's so dumb, he thought that tree is only 2 years old. How did he graduate from 'O'/'A' level
Actually, what's Alf's education level?


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@boredjess I love your posts but this picture is incredibly disturbing on so many levels (lol). Alfie's horse teeth. Zoe's dark underwear showing through her sheer x-mas pajamas (so if anyone was considering buying this set, don't wear dark undergarments with it fyi), the fact Alfie had to demonstrate how inflexible Zoe is like 3-4x, and the fact Alfie is deluded enough to think he's good enough to be on Strictly...

But I do agree with the tv in the background. That is my exact expression when Zalfie do something stupid which is almost always. Perfect screen grab!
 
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