Alfie Deyes #12 aka Alfie Davies Trying to get fit but he's still a Tory tit

How long will his get fit faze last?

  • hes already given up

    Votes: 199 56.4%

  • two more weeks

    Votes: 27 7.6%

  • a month

    Votes: 15 4.2%

  • until he finds a new hobby

    Votes: 60 17.0%

  • he doesn't need to work out Zoe has him running around enough

    Votes: 52 14.7%
  • Total voters
    353
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Pricing his merch as if he’s an actual celebrity. Anyone who buys this actually needs their head tested
 
myra1409 said:
"Zoeeeeeee... Zoe heeelp!! It's dark, I can't see!! Arghhh!! Zoeee!! Zoeee!!" Alfie started to panic. The prickly heat inside the jumper was becoming unbearable, but luckily Alfie never broke a sweat!

All of a sudden he remembered how his mum used to dress him for school: 'pull down on the jumper to put it on and pull the jumper up to take it off,' he thought to himself. He shuddered at the painful memories of his mum trying trying to pull clothes over his abnormally large head.

Zoe wasn't responding. It didn't matter anyway; Zoe was 7 months pregnant and wasn't meant to do anything strenuous, like standing up or cooking pasta. Alfie would have to do it alone. It was in moments like these that Alfie thought 'WWDD' - What would Dianne do? Dianne was smart. Dianne was brave. Dianne was beautiful... Alfie nearly lost his balance; he often did that when he thought of Dianne!

Alfie's arms were starting to ache; he'd been boxing twice in the last 3 months and was still recovering! Time was running out! He wanted to make Dianne happy, he wanted to make Dianne proud. Alfie imagined Dianne stood waiting for him, and all things he would do if he made it out alive! He took a deep breath, and with an almighty groan he pulled the jumper off.

"What are you doing?" asked a voice. Alfie gasped: 'Dianne?' he thought. He turned around, being careful not to hurt his ankle anymore than he had already done so whilst skipping in the park with Morgan earlier that day. His heart was pounding, his hands were quivering... "Oh," said Alfie. In the doorway was a tiny haggard lady with a mop of matted hair tied precariously on her head.

"What are you doing?" Zoe asked again. "Oh Zoe it was SAVAGE," Alfie exclaimed, "I was stuck in the jumper for AGES, I literally thought I was going to die!" Zoe looked unimpressed. She hated Future Self merch releases as Alfie would often try on the clothes and get stuck. "I was trying to film a Function of Beauty AD!" whined Zoe. "Oh, so sorry Liddle One," said Alfie, his lisp as prominent as ever. Zoe went back downstairs and Alfie started folding the jumper. 'Baby, the future is ours!' it read. A large tear rolled down his cheek, as Alfie remembered that this was his future. "Baby, the future sucks!" whispered Alfie.
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That was amazing 😂 You should be a ghost writer for youtuber books!
 
Lilykins said:
I can’t get over a tee for £30!!!! Taylor swift’s T-shirt’s are £25…. T swift he ain’t. What gives him the gumption to price it like this?!
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I'm pretty sure he's just so out of touch with money. He doesn't really know what's a normal price for a shirt or how much people are willing to pay for "brand" clothes. He thinks £30 for a tee could be normal, he's not sure, he gets shirts for free and sometimes buys them without looking at the price tag.

As he's shown in the infamous 1£ vid, he has no perception of money and how much things cost or which things are paid for. Water just comes from the tap and PT just comes over when it's time for training. If he's not paying it right now, he doesn't realise it's paid for. Object permanence is a wild concept.
 
Even-Steven said:
I'm pretty sure he's just so out of touch with money. He doesn't really know what's a normal price for a shirt or how much people are willing to pay for "brand" clothes. He thinks £30 for a tee could be normal, he's not sure, he gets shirts for free and sometimes buys them without looking at the price tag.

As he's shown in the infamous 1£ vid, he has no perception of money and how much things cost or which things are paid for. Water just comes from the tap and PT just comes over when it's time for training. If he's not paying it right now, he doesn't realise it's paid for. Object permanence is a wild concept.
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Oh yeah for sure, he probably thinks £30 is a bargain!
 
CarlyBear94 said:
That smug Tory cunt face Aldo has is deafening.

SHICKKK 🔥
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I bet he's furious no one is wearing his merch.

Aldo Hey Bro....you gotta wear my collab gear. Its SHICKKK 🔥
Joey: no its shit you tory prick
Aldo: But it's the future baby. I wore it when knocking Zoe up in three pumps. Dianne will want me if you do
Joey: fuck off and stop closing your eyes you tory freak
Aldo: fankssoverymuchhhh SHICKKK 🔥
Zoe: I'm preggo and no ones mauled my bump for 30 seconds. Grab it now hahaha
 
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