Laughingforlife
VIP Member
I can't think of anything worse than working in the Zoella office 
Zoe Sugg #9 Orangella needs A new fella! #autumnal
- Thread starter DoreenYadeley
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Yep, these youtubers make stupid amount of money, I've seen small influencers (around 50k) being paid 4k for one ad. Plus him and zoe came from an erawhen influencers weren't really regulated, so that's probably were he made the bulk of his money. Remember when all the brit youtubers used to do asos hauls almost every month?
thenomad
VIP Member
I caught that too. They think they’re so clever when it’s transparent they just want ideas for Zoe’s future vlogs or for that blog that maybe one day will be relaunched. Launch date still TBD...
I have some ideas for them.
Day 1: How to find out if your bf is the one?
Day 2: You won’t believe all the junk I found in our couch cushions!
Day 3: Giving away to charities all the #shitmyboyfriendbuys !
Day 4: Taking Nala for a proper walk!
Day 5: Learning how to make healthy dinners! Best of all no takeaways!
Day 6: Working out in our garage gym! Can you believe it?!
Day 7: Appreciating my family! Long awaited visit to my grandparents!
I wouldn't be surprised if she diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
Blubs
Active member
I'd actually watch all of these. Would be refreshing. LOL!
electricmallows
VIP Member
Putting this here for anyone who doesn't have access to the link (so you can have a peek too):
https://www.atozcreatives.com/team-zoella-assistant
So many ironic/funny parts to this ad, I don't even know where to start honestly
"Generating affiliate links" no surprise for team Zoe..
"Taking minutes of Meetings" Can you imagine? 'July 20 - Production Update. Meeting starts with Zoe asking if there's any more donuts needed before discussions starts'...I'm so done
"Happy to travel or stay overnight" - what the hell kind of double standard is that when the Boss only shows up herself for half a day every 2 weeks? I'd be absolutely pissed if I had that job
https://www.atozcreatives.com/team-zoella-assistant
So many ironic/funny parts to this ad, I don't even know where to start honestly
"Generating affiliate links" no surprise for team Zoe.."Taking minutes of Meetings" Can you imagine? 'July 20 - Production Update. Meeting starts with Zoe asking if there's any more donuts needed before discussions starts'...I'm so done
"Happy to travel or stay overnight" - what the hell kind of double standard is that when the Boss only shows up herself for half a day every 2 weeks? I'd be absolutely pissed if I had that job
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
'Practices superior time management.' - what does it take to have time management skills that are not just good, but SUPERIOR?
Also...asking for a potential assistant role (no doubt under 20k a year) to create a WEEK's worth of content for a job application? That is bleeping outrageous! They will no doubt be stealing all the ideas of these poor unsuspecting souls.
Create a plan for a week’s worth of content to sit on the Zoella Instagram account that follows the format we currently have. We want this to be an opportunity for you to demonstrate your abilities and to use your full creative imagination. Feel free to use any programs you would like to complete the task but please submit as a PDF.
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
• Time of year your content would be posted
• Imagery and photoshoots
• Video
• Caption Copy
• Blog posts that would sit alongside your content
Also...asking for a potential assistant role (no doubt under 20k a year) to create a WEEK's worth of content for a job application? That is bleeping outrageous! They will no doubt be stealing all the ideas of these poor unsuspecting souls.
Create a plan for a week’s worth of content to sit on the Zoella Instagram account that follows the format we currently have. We want this to be an opportunity for you to demonstrate your abilities and to use your full creative imagination. Feel free to use any programs you would like to complete the task but please submit as a PDF.
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
• Time of year your content would be posted
• Imagery and photoshoots
• Video
• Caption Copy
• Blog posts that would sit alongside your content
Laughingforlife
VIP Member
Also the thing about writing a blog post along side the content 
I can't think of anything worse than working in the Zoella office
Idk, an office where the boss is rarely in so you can turn up late, have extra lunch or leave early without anything coming of it. Free lunch and PR samples and at the rate her careers going, not a lot of work.
She’s only in the office once or twice a week and I’m sure everyone could find an excuse to work from home a few of those times.
LongishCat
VIP Member
"The role is based in Brighton 5 days a week and cannot be worked remotely."Putting this here for anyone who doesn't have access to the link (so you can have a peek too):
https://www.atozcreatives.com/team-zoella-assistant
So many ironic/funny parts to this ad, I don't even know where to start honestly
"Taking minutes of Meetings" Can you imagine? 'July 20 - Production Update. Meeting starts with Zoe asking if there's any more donuts needed before discussions starts'...I'm so done
"Happy to travel or stay overnight" - what the hell kind of double standard is that when the Boss only shows up herself for half a day every 2 weeks? I'd be absolutely pissed if I had that job
Staying overnight, no home office? Seriously? It's a social media job, ffs..
Maybe Zoe should at least consider setting an example then. This is outrageous...
Edited because my post was double
Last edited:
thenomad
VIP Member
To be fair I'm sure her and Alfie get a lax schedule but I doubt they are as generous to their employees about coming into the office whenever or taking long lunches like they do. I also highly doubt Zoe gives away any of the PR stuff she is sent. If so, we would have seen a vlog where she does that. Anyone remember her giving Mark the B&BW candles of scents she disliked? Or making her employees pre-order her Cordially book? I think if you don't mind being paid poorly and giving up some of your free time to have to spend with Zoe (HP movie marathons, baking for the office GBBO contest, or getting pumpkins for porch decor) then this is a job you might like...
I just checked out the link and some of the stuff they're asking for in regards to applying is really laughable.
"Happy to travel or stay overnight if needed." - Will the assistant be compensated for additional overtime hours and be provided per diem? I'm guessing they'll be tasked with things like picking up Zoe's favorite pizza.
"Someone who loves working in a fast-paced, ever-evolving environment." -How is A to Z a fast-paced, ever-evolving environment? How many talents have they signed so far? Zero? What quality projects have they put out? Zoe's pap smear video was through Gleam so they can't even take credit for that. And all of Alfie's videos to date have been garbage (truly not the year of the content).
"Taking minutes in meetings." -So that's what like three meetings a year? Zoe's birthday, Christmas, and a random day in autumn?
" Idea generation" -Aka none of the gals at A to Z can come up with ideas so its your job to come up with all of Zoe's content for the year.
QuietQuistie
Member
Nothing is real anymore is it? My whole world view has changed over the last week being on this site. I always knew zalfies' content was garbage and I took it with a pinch of salt but that job description makes you realise it's ALL fake as duck
Wowwwwwwwww
VIP Member
Why isn’t she on the coppafeel trip? Thought she was connected with them after the neon boob fiasco? Wouldn’t it be nice.....?
There is no chance on earth that Zoe would survive a trek up the Himalayas!! She can’t even make it to her back garden.
Maybe in the pre office days when Carrie was her assistant (remember when she worked in that little room in their old house and Zoe never introduced her or filmed her but there would be the occasional sign of her )but this job sounds more junior than Carrie now is, surely?
DoreenYadeley
VIP Member
I'VE REWORKED THE AD TO MAKE IT MORE 'ACCURATE'...
'Team Zoella Office witch'
THE JOB SUMMARY:
We are looking for a desperate minion to do all the tit we're too lazy to do whilst we binge on donuts and fizzy drinks. We've run out of ideas and enthusiasm for brand Zoella so we want you to think of content and ideas for the dwindling ex-You Tube personality. The role is based in Brighton 5 days a week and don't even bleeping think of working remotely!! This is a hard graft job, witch.
Hours: Full Time Boredom
Location: Central Brighton
Salary: Absolute tit
Start Date: Immediate (we're desperate)
KEY RESPONSIBILITIES:
Licking Zoella's bumhole clean on the daily.
Ordering junk food for Jolly Holly and co.
Thinking up all the tit to post on Zoella's boring social media pages.
Making us drinks and ordering food, and buying pointless tit we can use as props in crappy photoshoots.
Taking minutes in our team 'meetings', listening to us all talk tit for hours. Please note Zoe rarely attends.
tit-posting on all our social media and the website but not the blog as it's dead.
Pinching pics and info from online.
Heavy use of Pinterest for content.
Begging for free tit and PR for Zoe.
REQUIREMENTS:
Love of Autumn and Christmas.
Love of all things orange.
Fatter than Zoe, if possible obese and unattractive.
Can write using stupid abbreviations like 'gorg' and 'obvz'
Will do any menial physical work for Zoe at the drop of a hat.
Likes pugs and can put up with anal gland leakage (Nala) and shedding hair extensions (Zoe).
THE PERSON WE’RE LOOKING FOR:
Ability to work with a team of annoying and lazy oafs and put up with Queen witch Zoe and her insufferable bullshit.
Passion for pointless product consumption and failing You Tube celebrities.
Someone who loves working in a dull and repetitive, stale environment.
Unimaginative and will do as told without questioning.
Can organise Zoe as we've all given up trying to get her to do anything.
Going the extra mile, always; as the Girl Boss barely leaves her sofa.
Confident to work by yourself as we can't be bothered to really assist being a bunch of self important twats.
Ambitious, as Zoe surely isn't these days and we're all worried the company will fold and we'll be out of a job.
Happy to travel or stay overnight if Zoe or Alfie need babysitting.
HOW TO APPLY:
Please complete the below task and send alongside a CV, cover letter and blank cheque signing your life and integrity away to [email protected] by Friday 8th November.
Only serious applications will be considered, and unless we want to steal your ideas we won't be in contact as we're too lazy to respond to all applications.
CVs and any applications will be scanned for ideas and ripped off accordingly in line with Zoe's rules and regs.
TASK:
Create a plan for a week’s worth of content to sit on the Zoella Instagram account that follows the format we currently have. We want this to be an opportunity for you to demonstrate your abilities and to use lots of orange filters to make everything look #autumnal. Feel free to use any programs you would like to complete the task but please submit in an easy format so it's easier for Holly to copy and paste into Insta.
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
'Team Zoella Office witch'
THE JOB SUMMARY:
We are looking for a desperate minion to do all the tit we're too lazy to do whilst we binge on donuts and fizzy drinks. We've run out of ideas and enthusiasm for brand Zoella so we want you to think of content and ideas for the dwindling ex-You Tube personality. The role is based in Brighton 5 days a week and don't even bleeping think of working remotely!! This is a hard graft job, witch.
Hours: Full Time Boredom
Location: Central Brighton
Salary: Absolute tit
Start Date: Immediate (we're desperate)
KEY RESPONSIBILITIES:
Licking Zoella's bumhole clean on the daily.
Ordering junk food for Jolly Holly and co.
Thinking up all the tit to post on Zoella's boring social media pages.
Making us drinks and ordering food, and buying pointless tit we can use as props in crappy photoshoots.
Taking minutes in our team 'meetings', listening to us all talk tit for hours. Please note Zoe rarely attends.
tit-posting on all our social media and the website but not the blog as it's dead.
Pinching pics and info from online.
Heavy use of Pinterest for content.
Begging for free tit and PR for Zoe.
REQUIREMENTS:
Love of Autumn and Christmas.
Love of all things orange.
Fatter than Zoe, if possible obese and unattractive.
Can write using stupid abbreviations like 'gorg' and 'obvz'
Will do any menial physical work for Zoe at the drop of a hat.
Likes pugs and can put up with anal gland leakage (Nala) and shedding hair extensions (Zoe).
THE PERSON WE’RE LOOKING FOR:
Ability to work with a team of annoying and lazy oafs and put up with Queen witch Zoe and her insufferable bullshit.
Passion for pointless product consumption and failing You Tube celebrities.
Someone who loves working in a dull and repetitive, stale environment.
Unimaginative and will do as told without questioning.
Can organise Zoe as we've all given up trying to get her to do anything.
Going the extra mile, always; as the Girl Boss barely leaves her sofa.
Confident to work by yourself as we can't be bothered to really assist being a bunch of self important twats.
Ambitious, as Zoe surely isn't these days and we're all worried the company will fold and we'll be out of a job.
Happy to travel or stay overnight if Zoe or Alfie need babysitting.
HOW TO APPLY:
Please complete the below task and send alongside a CV, cover letter and blank cheque signing your life and integrity away to [email protected] by Friday 8th November.
Only serious applications will be considered, and unless we want to steal your ideas we won't be in contact as we're too lazy to respond to all applications.
CVs and any applications will be scanned for ideas and ripped off accordingly in line with Zoe's rules and regs.
TASK:
Create a plan for a week’s worth of content to sit on the Zoella Instagram account that follows the format we currently have. We want this to be an opportunity for you to demonstrate your abilities and to use lots of orange filters to make everything look #autumnal. Feel free to use any programs you would like to complete the task but please submit in an easy format so it's easier for Holly to copy and paste into Insta.
THINGS TO CONSIDER:
- Early retirement
Last edited:
Alfies_Boy
Well-known member
Obvs this is insanely accurate and gorg!!
Jelly Bean
VIP Member
Omg you are a bleeping genius! I've nearly choked several times reading it. Brilliant
I know this is old but definitely seems the only time he touches her is in videos like this time when he thinks he'll get away with it and doesn't have to do any more than cop a feel (in a vlog once he "accidentally" grabbed her tit and it didn't go down great). Absolutely no chance they're having sex on the regular, is it even classes as a relationship at this stage?
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