Toddler Advice #8 Jingle bells, the house smells, toddler’s still awake; biting, and almighty tantrums what more can I take?!

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Clickbait said:
Is there any reason to be quite so nervous about leaving him with your mum? Does he go to any childcare currently? He needs to learn some independence from you at some point or he’ll find starting school a difficult adjustment.

Hidden cameras just sounds batshit unless she has a history of neglect, violence, a medical condition that could lead her to fall, faint, fit etc. And if that was the case I would presume you wouldn’t be leaving him with her in the first place.

What is his solution to being able to be with you in labour?

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Quick question on a different note - did any of you have a cervical sweep and was it successful? Had a scan today and was offered 23 Dec to be induced. I was induced last time despite my waters going spontaneously and wasn’t offered a chance for labour to start by itself. The experience was awful.

I’ve decided to wait until after Christmas to be induced, but am secretly hoping baby arrives by his own accord. I’m just wondering if people have had positive experiences of labour being brought on by a sweep. No one I know found it helped!
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I think OH just judges how me and my siblings were brought up, it wasn’t bad bad but she had 4 kids and a lot to deal with all at once, she will only have just our LO to look after so it’s actually not as hard! That and her last grandchild she looked after when he was around our son’s age was 10 years ago now so she may be a bit out of practice but it’s not like she’s never had her own kids or looked after anyone else’s before. and if we are giving her the chances to watch him it’s not like she won’t pick this stuff back up. I do get the worries of leaving him with anyone at all which is why I thought we were starting off small and building the amount of time up/trying different times of day (even though we are now starting to have little time left for this 😬).

I don’t work so we’ve never had the need for any childcare til now and I think I’d trust my mum more with him than a nursery. Gosh and that reminds me how much OH is worried about when it comes to sending him into school too 😬

And exactly! I don’t see the need for any cameras and I have zero worries about her harming him, I just know LO can be absolute nutter at times and I worry about him falling off sofas or banging into things, but I worry about that sort of thing when I’m watching him myself anyway. That and the toddler tantrums 😬

Last weekend it didn’t sound like he even attempted to climb anything or run around like he does when it’s just me and him, apparently they just read lots of books and he showed her lots of his toys. Honestly sounds like he’s a lot calmer around her than he is with me 😂

OH said ‘he doesn’t have a choice’ when it comes to going in to have this baby.. but really hoping he can relax about it at some point between now and then. 😭


I never had a sweep no but did end up with an induction which felt very long, so can understand not wanting that again !
 
The threenager sang Christmas carols for dementia patients in a care home today and drew Christmas pictures for them. He's very shy and wary around people he doesn't know so I'm surprised he managed it and so proud that he did. Wee Man, on the other hand, came home having eaten and snorted glitter and plastered his hair with glue. Win some, lose some.
 
Does anyone have recommendations for outdoor toys that would work in a smallish garden? All I can think of is a swing and because we have a concrete path down the middle I don't think it will work for us.

Jellycat369 said:
The threenager sang Christmas carols for dementia patients in a care home today and drew Christmas pictures for them. He's very shy and wary around people he doesn't know so I'm surprised he managed it and so proud that he did. Wee Man, on the other hand, came home having eaten and snorted glitter and plastered his hair with glue. Win some, lose some.
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Baby L comes home covered in glitter every day at the moment but when they post pictures of the crafting activities he's nowhere to be seen, how is he doing it?? It even gets in his nappy.
 
WeHadFunRight said:
Anyone else with no support network just lose the plot sometimes? TF has been off the last two days, it’s so draining, I’m not able to do work properly, I’m not able to get the housework done, wrap presents, run errands easily… I’m operating on my last few strands of sanity. I have no one. This morning I took 6 to school and I just couldn’t face my friend’s nanny. She obviously works hard to afford a nanny but the nanny is always so bleeping smug about how organised she is/they are because of her and I couldn’t cope with her saying something so pleased with herself about being ready for Christmas so I just said good morning and ran off as quickly as I could.
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I didn't realise how many times I almost lost the plot with my first two until I had a proper network with this third baby. My MIL, although amazing with my 2 oldest, was an ocean away, this time its just been like night and day.

I had mentioned how the middle and baby weren't sleeping and she showed up yesterday afternoon to take the 2 oldest off for a grammie sleepover. Yes, I'm still up at 3am with the baby but I can cope with just that.

With your friends nanny that is literally her job. I'd be concerned if she wasn't making it so the family is more organised/ready. No need to throw it in your face.
 
first Christmas with a child, he's almost 11 months.... How are ye navigating family gatherings and his routine. Very tempted to just be selfish and not go out too late as he's a nightmare without his sleep 😴
 
I'm so glad to hear it's not just me that doesn't have the support network others seem to have. We're currently on week four of illness after illness and no sleep and it feels like everyone around us have just done a vanishing act.

Why do people say things like 'we'll have her any time you want' 'if you need a break, we're here' yet when you need them 'oh sorry we're doing a litter pick today' (or something as equally menial, like wtf?!!

I understand everyone has got their own life/stuff going on but I did think we'd be able to rely on our parents if nothing else!

PS. Glad but not glad, we all need support at times and it's so frustrating and upsetting when it isn't there
 
opintionatedperson said:
first Christmas with a child, he's almost 11 months.... How are ye navigating family gatherings and his routine. Very tempted to just be selfish and not go out too late as he's a nightmare without his sleep 😴
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Defo stick to your routine. Its not worth changing it to benefit the family because you'll end up picking up the pieces when one or both of you are crying due to missed naps/late naps/no sleep 😂
 
opintionatedperson said:
first Christmas with a child, he's almost 11 months.... How are ye navigating family gatherings and his routine. Very tempted to just be selfish and not go out too late as he's a nightmare without his sleep 😴
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You have to do what's best for you and your child. If you know he needs his sleep, bow out early (without feeling guilty!) because the last thing you all need is to get run down over Christmas. It's your Christmas too and should get to spend it how you want.
 
opintionatedperson said:
first Christmas with a child, he's almost 11 months.... How are ye navigating family gatherings and his routine. Very tempted to just be selfish and not go out too late as he's a nightmare without his sleep 😴
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I don’t think it’s selfish at all, you know his needs and it’s not going to be enjoyable when they’re tired and cranky.

Mine was 11 months at Christmas last year, he really couldn’t care about anything or understand the presents part. For Christmas Day - Being his first Christmas we wanted it at ours and only had my sister in law over. We put him to nap and bed at his normal times.

If you can then have people come visit you but otherwise I wouldn’t feel like you have to stay at any gatherings later just to please others. Do whatever is best for you and your LO!
 
I feel like the worse mum today. My son (going to be 2 in Feb) only had half hour nap today, and he has whinged/cried for 2 straight hours after he woke up. I tried feeding him, putting his favourite shows on, tried to put him back down, cuddled, played, nothing was fixing it, I did eventually snap when he tried to chuck wotsits all over the floor in anger and shouted no at him, I got him out the high chair and he ran away from me into the back room so I felt bad… then I walked up to my mums, he then instantly stopped crying when we got outside their house and my dad (innocently) said ‘Christ love, I bet he’s cold’. He did have his coat on, I think he meant a hat, but I was in such a rush to get out I didn’t even think about a hat, so I burst into tears and my dad didn’t even realise, carrying on with ‘silly mummy, didn’t think about a hat’ I felt like a tit mum anyway for not being able to calm him down and that was the cherry on top, so bless my mum, she read the room and said ‘go home and enjoy some peace and quiet, leave him here’ so I cried all the way home and feel horrendous !!!!!!

not sure why I feel so sensitive, I’m a typical plan B mum so forgetting things is the norm but I feel so sensitive and overwhelmed with him being unhappy and being hysterical 😢
 
pink_lemonade said:
I feel like the worse mum today. My son (going to be 2 in Feb) only had half hour nap today, and he has whinged/cried for 2 straight hours after he woke up. I tried feeding him, putting his favourite shows on, tried to put him back down, cuddled, played, nothing was fixing it, I did eventually snap when he tried to chuck wotsits all over the floor in anger and shouted no at him, I got him out the high chair and he ran away from me into the back room so I felt bad… then I walked up to my mums, he then instantly stopped crying when we got outside their house and my dad (innocently) said ‘Christ love, I bet he’s cold’. He did have his coat on, I think he meant a hat, but I was in such a rush to get out I didn’t even think about a hat, so I burst into tears and my dad didn’t even realise, carrying on with ‘silly mummy, didn’t think about a hat’ I felt like a tit mum anyway for not being able to calm him down and that was the cherry on top, so bless my mum, she read the room and said ‘go home and enjoy some peace and quiet, leave him here’ so I cried all the way home and feel horrendous !!!!!!

not sure why I feel so sensitive, I’m a typical plan B mum so forgetting things is the norm but I feel so sensitive and overwhelmed with him being unhappy and being hysterical 😢
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Please don't beat yourself up. Everyone has crappy days. With toddlers as well as the upcoming holidays, its going to happen.

And lets face it, if you'd had the hat, he'd probably fought you on it the whole time.
 
fairylights2000 said:
Does anyone have recommendations for outdoor toys that would work in a smallish garden? All I can think of is a swing and because we have a concrete path down the middle I don't think it will work for us.


Baby L comes home covered in glitter every day at the moment but when they post pictures of the crafting activities he's nowhere to be seen, how is he doing it?? It even gets in his nappy.
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Now that is a skill 😂
 
For Christmas activities we've done "go to the garden centres to look at the lights and pick a bauble" and "go to another garden centre to see Santa."

We're taking the big one to the panto on Saturday but Baby Biscuit is staying with my Mum and Dad for that. I think you can do too much sometimes.
 
pink_lemonade said:
I feel like the worse mum today. My son (going to be 2 in Feb) only had half hour nap today, and he has whinged/cried for 2 straight hours after he woke up. I tried feeding him, putting his favourite shows on, tried to put him back down, cuddled, played, nothing was fixing it, I did eventually snap when he tried to chuck wotsits all over the floor in anger and shouted no at him, I got him out the high chair and he ran away from me into the back room so I felt bad… then I walked up to my mums, he then instantly stopped crying when we got outside their house and my dad (innocently) said ‘Christ love, I bet he’s cold’. He did have his coat on, I think he meant a hat, but I was in such a rush to get out I didn’t even think about a hat, so I burst into tears and my dad didn’t even realise, carrying on with ‘silly mummy, didn’t think about a hat’ I felt like a tit mum anyway for not being able to calm him down and that was the cherry on top, so bless my mum, she read the room and said ‘go home and enjoy some peace and quiet, leave him here’ so I cried all the way home and feel horrendous !!!!!!

not sure why I feel so sensitive, I’m a typical plan B mum so forgetting things is the norm but I feel so sensitive and overwhelmed with him being unhappy and being hysterical 😢
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If he's anything like mine he would have whipped it off and dropped it somewhere along the way. Don't beat yourself up about it, you're doing a great job.
 
DiscoBiscuit said:
For Christmas activities we've done "go to the garden centres to look at the lights and pick a bauble" and "go to another garden centre to see Santa."

We're taking the big one to the panto on Saturday but Baby Biscuit is staying with my Mum and Dad for that. I think you can do too much sometimes.
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This is my plan with baby wotsit Saturday! Our festive day out! Santa in morning…. And garden centre in afternoon! Really quite excited!!
He brought home from nursery this afternoon. With the most beautiful photo of him all dressed up Christmassy…. Felt so emotional how the perfect little fella is mine! He’s almost been forgiven for the 4am parties!
 
My boy went to a Christmas party with his morning and nursery this afternoon. I decided to leave out his Christmas Day outfit for my partner to dress him in, against my better judgement, because it’s Christmas and he won’t wear it much. Thought I’d share with you what I found in his bag this evening:

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Brand new on 😩 I’m not sure he could have got filthier if he tried 😂 Not even sure what some of these stains are. Left it soaking in a cocktail of stain removers and warm water, and hoping for the best. Pray for me!
 
Does anyone know if there’s a regression or big leap at 10 months or is my little boy just being a pain? Coming up to a week now he has been waking up from been put down to bed around 7ish to about 12ish every 40/60 mins, he's easy to settle as most times he just wants a cuddle for 15/20mins. He will then go 2/3 hours until it starts again from around 4am. He’s fine in the day too all happy smiles and babbling, will play and feed/nap as normal.
I’ve tried taking a nap away, keeping them the same and adding one in but it’s the same each night. It’s mainly me who gets up in the night too with him and I just feel exhausted as I don’t even get chance to sleep earlier on. I know it’s a phase and will eventually pass but just wish I knew why or if there was anything I could do to help him.
All I can think is he has started to stand more and move along on furniture so is it he’s learning a skill, growth spurt, regression or just been a terror. So frustrating
 
LeedsLass89 said:
Does anyone know if there’s a regression or big leap at 10 months or is my little boy just being a pain? Coming up to a week now he has been waking up from been put down to bed around 7ish to about 12ish every 40/60 mins, he's easy to settle as most times he just wants a cuddle for 15/20mins. He will then go 2/3 hours until it starts again from around 4am. He’s fine in the day too all happy smiles and babbling, will play and feed/nap as normal.
I’ve tried taking a nap away, keeping them the same and adding one in but it’s the same each night. It’s mainly me who gets up in the night too with him and I just feel exhausted as I don’t even get chance to sleep earlier on. I know it’s a phase and will eventually pass but just wish I knew why or if there was anything I could do to help him.
All I can think is he has started to stand more and move along on furniture so is it he’s learning a skill, growth spurt, regression or just been a terror. So frustrating
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Yep could be transitioning from3 to 2 naps probably. Takes a while to settle I found . Could be teeth too.
I've been awake since 2 , hair is being pulled, I've had two hess smashes into my mouth and just wrecked. He's just being an asshole tonight
 
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