Tiffany Thinks #8

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ginnyw said:
I'm going to play Devil's advocate here for a moment and suggest that Matt might love Tiffany a lot and want to support her through this ordeal. He moved in with her after her diagnosis for precisely this reason. Here's my predictions: Matt won't leave, Amma will be amazingly capable and strong, Tiffany will have the surgery, her recovery will be long and difficult and the three of them will become closer as a result.

And yes, that is a hat-wearing Gonk in my profile pic.
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A relationship is not about sex alone. After the initial well uhm butterflies and much physical exercises it must change in something deeper. Love, respect, mutual understanding. That are key words in a relationship. Or else when it is really just all about sex it sounds cheap and tacky.
 
I think the other side could be Tiffany not feeling sexy after the surgeries and not wanting to have sex.
Her perception of herself / body image is going to change and she'll have to come to terms with it all. Taking time to feel confident and learning how to adapt to intamcy with stomas etc
That's a lot to navigate ans get used to, being physical, touch etc, not just about sex.
I don't think it's all on Matt.
 
Avasarala said:
I think the other side could be Tiffany not feeling sexy after the surgeries and not wanting to have sex.
Her perception of herself / body image is going to change and she'll have to come to terms with it all. Taking time to feel confident and learning how to adapt to intamcy with stomas etc
That's a lot to navigate ans get used to, even just being physical, not just about sex.
I don't think it's all on Matt.
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Right and she's in menopause. That changes also a lot
 
SunshineGirly said:
I disagree, especially with your use of the term ableism. Humans are hard wired with the drive to procreate with young and healthy mates. Does that discriminate against disabled people? Sadly yes. But this is human nature. Penetrative sex is a very primal instinct and it’s a completely big deal for a man in his prime to sacrifice that. If he and Tiffany were already married and established it would be a different story but so far there’s no commitment on his part so if he chooses to start a life with a girl who can have his children that doesn’t make him ableist.
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Also, having preferences for your partner isn't ableism. No one is required to stay in any relationship if it's not fulfilling their needs (all needs, not just sexual). I'm not at all suggesting that sex is the only part of a relationship but obviously their sex life would be affected by the surgery.
Disabled people deserve love and compassion and can live very fulfilling lives. Many work, have kids, are married, etc. No one doubts that. But not every person wants to or can handle being with a disabled person...just like there are a multitude of reasons why certain abled people would never partner with other abled folks. We all have different values and different approaches to life and we generally look for a partner who can fit in our vision of what we want.
Again, I grew up with a disabled mom. I wouldn't trade her for the world. She was a good mom. My dad didn't regret marrying her or taking care of her. But you can't just wave your hand and say "ableism" if someone brings up the very real limitations that some disabled people have and the stress that it can bring to a relationship. There were many ways in which my mother's disability limited what we could do as a family.
Regarding whether Matt truly loves Tiffany and will stick around? Who knows. All of us are speculating. That's what a gossip site is.
 
Doherty557 said:
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad, big hugs to you! I like your take on god and doctors, it’s very comforting 🤗 x
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PW212 said:
Thank you for posting. You are courageous to do so. I wish you some comfort as you battle this.
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Thank you so much! Big hugs to you as well. I miss my Dad so much. Yes, in my family that is the way we have always believed. ❤️
 
The thing about Tiff is she genuinely just seems to just be herself. However different people interpret that I have a preference for the real and original. No airs and graces and no “personas”. I just watched a YTuber break down in tears while moaning and bitching because her neighbours make noise and yet she wasn’t put on an emergency re-housing list because of this. Then she passively aggressively begs for money, because she just wants to live in a nice house drive a nice car and live abundantly. The contrast was stark. Tiffany is going through hell right now and to be honest I don’t think I would’ve handled it as well.
 
I always wondered, maybe naively, if Tiffany was a virgin given how religious she seems to be and how she always seems to turn her head when Matt kisses her and gets all giggly and awkward.

With her surgery, did she say mid-December? Doesn't she risk even further spread waiting yet more weeks? I'm confused by all this waiting.
 
Part of me wonders whether all the procrastination on the surgeon's part (and the other surgeon who failed to take a biopsy) is waiting for the inevitable pointlessness of the surgery as well. People typically procrastinate when there's a chance they won't have to do something. We try to conserve energy and resources when we're not sure the investment is worth the hoped-for outcome. The surgeon will have pushed this surgery back nearly 10-12 weeks by the time we roll around to mid-December. By then, with new scans, new biopsies (if indeed he does take a biopsy this time around), the cancer may have distantly metastasised and it'll be palliative care hereinafter. That might've been his expectation all along.

That might also explain why the surgeon has been avoiding Tiffany these past few months. There has been something so off about that.
 
chelmstead67 said:
Part of me wonders whether all the procrastination on the surgeon's part (and the other surgeon who failed to take a biopsy) is waiting for the inevitable pointlessness of the surgery as well. People typically procrastinate when there's a chance they won't have to do something. We try to conserve energy and resources when we're not sure the investment is worth the hoped-for outcome. The surgeon will have pushed this surgery back nearly 10-12 weeks by the time we roll around to mid-December. By then, with new scans, new biopsies (if indeed he does take a biopsy this time around), the cancer may have distantly metastasised and it'll be palliative care hereinafter. That might've been his expectation all along.

That might also explain why the surgeon has been avoiding Tiffany these past few months. There has been something so off about that.
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I get where you are coming from but surely no (good) surgeon would do that? Like that is unethical beyond belief. Unless he realised he made a mistake in saying it was worth doing but then would he not just admit that instead of giving her false hope and putting her through it all (and himself tbf, can’t imagine it’s a pleasant task). Especially as he’s such a reputable surgeon and his names very much out there now.

The delays do confuse me though I won’t lie. Unless it’s about her weight.
 
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