Tiffany Thinks #8

[ellyjelly2]

Honestly at this point I think it’s about Tiffany getting the surgery and surviving. I pry they don’t give her the option to WW again, she needs that bloody tumour out. Her quality of life now is crap, at least she will have a chance at a future. I went on Insta and there is a girl called Running for my life, she has had a full pelvic exenteration, both bladder and colon removed, she was up walking fter two weeks. Her recovery has been amazing, she’s small like Tiffany as well. I hope Tiffany looks at pages like hers as it shows there is life after this surgery and a good life.

This surgeon does, I am afraid, sound quite shady. I've known good cancer surgeons (my husband had advanced cancer three years ago and I've seen truly exemplary, honest, inspirational oncological/surgical leadership. I don't want to unduly cast aspersions on Tiffany's surgeon, but I know that Indian society can belittle Indian women and girls, especially those who are naturally agreeable, as Tiffany and her mother are. I can't imagine the surgeon takes Tiffany and Amma terribly seriously, and may even end up being culturally biased against them (the patriarchy in India is terrible and women are treated like complete second-class citizens). I'm just speculating here, but having seen first-hand what good cancer mentorship and care looks like from my husband's case, I can tell you that the way Tiffany has been treated (/not treated) is shocking and concerning. We should be deeply sceptical about her surgeon and his honesty.

Think you are on the wrong page here, best hop back over ( to her comment section) to the other lunatics who believe Tiffany’s jumbled version of events!

 

[ginnyw]

Honestly at this point I think it’s about Tiffany getting the surgery and surviving. I pry they don’t give her the option to WW again, she needs that bloody tumour out. Her quality of life now is crap, at least she will have a chance at a future. I went on Insta and there is a girl called Running for my life, she has had a full pelvic exenteration, both bladder and colon removed, she was up walking fter two weeks. Her recovery has been amazing, she’s small like Tiffany as well. I hope Tiffany looks at pages like hers as it shows there is life after this surgery and a good life.


Think you are on the wrong page here, best hop back over ( to her comment section) to the other lunatics who believe Tiffany’s jumbled version of events!

You're right - her entire focus must surely now be on survival above all else. The rest of it can come later on.

 

[suzeq]

She mentioned herself in her latest video she does not understand why is not gaining weight with all she eats. The girl has obvious cachexia due to a very large tumor growth.

Internet diagnoses from strangers are worth about what you pay for them (including mine), but I do not see an "obviously cachectic" person. While thin, she does not appear to have any significant muscle loss and she has not lost her appetite; she quite enjoys food and you confirm that she admits to eating quite a lot of it. That really doesn't fit in the medical criteria for cachexia.

Good point, while reading I realised that I haven’t had sex for 11 years now. Not through any physical condition, more that I can’t be bothered to deal with all the nonsense that usually goes along with the penis. I can’t imagine Matt and Tiffany going at it hammer and tong every night with dear old Amma in the next room, my lord!

Lol. Maybe that's why Amma spent a few days with her other daughter: all that banging and moaning going on in the room adjacent, she needed a quiet reprieve so went to spend time with her young grandkids who have a much earlier bedtime?

 

[jackolantern]

Tbf us arguing the toss about will he leave or won't he, does she have cachexia or doesn't she is all futile really. All any of us can say for sure is we don't know what Matt will do and she's extremely thin and needs to gain weight. I can't see that happening considering she's been like this for many years when she wasn't sick, so it seems next to impossible to imagine her being able to do so with pain, anxiety and a massive tumour. I hope despite what she portrays, behind closed doors they are giving her more support with this because otherwise it's going to be a huge barrier to her recovery. And also mental health support which she doesn't seem to be making use of.

 

[Satisfying Click]

This surgeon does, I am afraid, sound quite shady. I've known good cancer surgeons (my husband had advanced cancer three years ago and I've seen truly exemplary, honest, inspirational oncological/surgical leadership. I don't want to unduly cast aspersions on Tiffany's surgeon, but I know that Indian society can belittle Indian women and girls, especially those who are naturally agreeable, as Tiffany and her mother are. I can't imagine the surgeon takes Tiffany and Amma terribly seriously, and may even end up being culturally biased against them (the patriarchy in India is terrible and women are treated like complete second-class citizens). I'm just speculating here, but having seen first-hand what good cancer mentorship and care looks like from my husband's case, I can tell you that the way Tiffany has been treated (/not treated) is shocking and concerning. We should be deeply sceptical about her surgeon and his honesty.

The thing is, none of us know what has been said in those consultation rooms, bar Tiffany's version, and she's not a reliable narrator. Nor does she bring anyone particularly switched on to her consultations.

I expect her surgeon was encouraging her to consider the surgery as soon as it was an option, because it's the only thing that will buy her time. If she was dragging her heels, then the conservative approach (watchful wait, more scans etc), was one of the few alternatives, but given Tiffany's denial at the time, she would interpret W&W as being just as good as having surgery. I mean, this is a woman who asked her YouTube 'family' on camera what she should do. These are the actions of someone desperate, scared and woefully unequipped to deal with the reality as her cheerleaders were telling her what she wanted to hear, and not what she needed to hear.

 

[Doherty557]

A surgeon at the Marsden, a world renowned cancer hospital is not shady… he wouldn’t be in his job otherwise! I’m guessing Tiffany desperately didn’t want the operation, who would? Perhaps she became hysterical (as I would be) and to give an option he gave the option to wait and watch. A surgeon cannot force someone into the operating table, an oncologist cannot force someone to take treatment. Many cancer patients choose no treatment at all. To say a surgeon is shady to give a human the choice over their own body is a bit of a stretch

 

[Ionia]

A surgeon at the Marsden, a world renowned cancer hospital is not shady… he wouldn’t be in his job otherwise! I’m guessing Tiffany desperately didn’t want the operation, who would? Perhaps she became hysterical (as I would be) and to give an option he gave the option to wait and watch. A surgeon cannot force someone into the operating table, an oncologist cannot force someone to take treatment. Many cancer patients choose no treatment at all. To say a surgeon is shady to give a human the choice over their own body is a bit of a stretch

Agree.. Even though Tiffany made a point in her latest video on her scan results emphazing to Matt
“ isnt that what we wanted, to get the surgery ?” She insinuated they always wanted the surgery be done from the beggining, but that is not the impression we got. Not at all. Understabdably with all those organs removed and the risks involved. But it would be better if she was honest throughout her journey.

 

[lisette]

I still think that if Matt stays with Tiffany despite her behaviour and personality (very unlikeable, to me anyway), then the surgery and its effects will not make him leave. He has to be deeply in love to put up with her whims and childishness. And I may be naive but I cannot imagine someone leaving their partner because of an illness, and I cannot imagine Matt doing that either. He does not seem that kind. I remember this has already been discussed and the majority of the people here said that him leaving because of the surgery is likely. Some mentioned cases of people leaving their partners due to illness.

And yes apparently Matt is catholic but young Irish (or of other nationality in Europe) people who are catholic or christian are often not extremely religious. I know several and they go to church at times but they also make fun of religion and are open minded. He will not be as radical and deluded in terms of god and religion as Tiffany is. She is just on another level of godliness.

I agree with what you said. Someone said before that Tiffany and Matt never had sex. I don’t believe that Tiffany is a virgin. She had a boyfriend for eight years before Matt and he didn’t seem very religious to me. If Matt stays he will Adjust if he loves her. Right now Tiffany has to work on being healthy And surviving the operation and what comes after. I am think her youth is a plus And getting through the operation. But cancer is a witch

if they were that hyper-religious he’d be sleeping in the spare room surely..

Like I said above Tiffany is not a virgin in my opinion. She had a boyfriend name T Roy for eight years and it was said he cheated on her and that’s why they broke up. Matt is not sleeping in the spare room. She mentions that he sleeps very well while she can’t sleep

 

[Leofeldhas]

A surgeon at the Marsden, a world renowned cancer hospital is not shady… he wouldn’t be in his job otherwise! I’m guessing Tiffany desperately didn’t want the operation, who would? Perhaps she became hysterical (as I would be) and to give an option he gave the option to wait and watch. A surgeon cannot force someone into the operating table, an oncologist cannot force someone to take treatment. Many cancer patients choose no treatment at all. To say a surgeon is shady to give a human the choice over their own body is a bit of a stretch

right ! voluntas aegroti suprema lex , not salus aegroti suprema lex ! A surgeon is not your master who orders that your organs shall be taken out. The "salus" (health/well-being) of a pelvic exenteration with a T4b stage colon cancer in an underweight person is doubtful anyway.
My guess is that the biopsy will fail once more because of a massive growth and surgery will be denied because of the disease progression.

 

[LeonorG]

Two scenarios, either Tiffany refused surgery when the doctor told her back then that only surgery could save her life, but told her the raw truth of all the organs that had to be removed, plus the risks of such invasive major surgery. There is a telling video in August where Tiffany was having a dramatic monologue in her bed saying “ this surgery will bring many life changing situations, is it worth it”? So she knew since then the life changes brought by surgery.
Maybe she was hoping it would dissapear on its own, maybe the doctor did not push enough because he did not want to take such a serious difficult case like Tiffany’s. All these do not make sense. They saw there was no tumor shrinking with chemo and radiation but still chose the wait and see approach, which could have ended in metastases and inoperable. Nothing makes sense in Tiffany’s cancer journey because we were not told the truth.

Disagree with the first part. She knew way back what the surgery was about. She mentioned its life-changing effects back in May (or even before that). I think what happened is that in line with the August results, the doctor proposed 3 options, one of them immediate surgery and the other watching and waiting. When Tiffany heard 'watching and waiting', she started to believe that she is cancer free and chose that option.
Yes nothing makes sense. Now it seems the operation is imminent and she understands that but back in August there was no massive push for the surgery. I don't get what changed. The tumour was still there 10 weeks ago. We will never understand without hearing the actual surgeon's words.

 

[Idrisrex]

How long has TT been off chemo in addition to the 8 weeks watch & wait?

Her last chemo was 3 months ago, So one month before the WW period.

 

[Saydee]

Yes. Not everyone has the idea that close relationships must revolve around sexual intimacy to be fulfilling. There are many different types of happy, loving relationships which have various priorities that make them work.

My speculation about Matt’s inability to cope with the aftermath of Tiffany’s surgery has nothing to do with sexual issues at all. Matt left town during her last biopsy so to me that’s a red flag. Sexual intimacy is very different from intimacy required to help someone with their colostomy bag. Of course, Amma will be a caregiver for Tiffany but there will be times when she can’t be there and however competent Tiffany becomes with caring for her own body, there will be times when she needs help. I’ve seen various levels of help and concern from family members in hospital that reflect how they probably cope with a patient’s (various) needs at home. There are wives who care for their husband’s colostomy bags, nephrostomy bags, etc. and spouses who have to leave the room when nurses are caring for stomas. There are patients who come in with huge pressure ulcers because family members don’t or can’t clean and reposition them regularly. There are adult children who bring their elderly parent into hospital and then essentially ghost them. Sometimes, it’s just too much and may have nothing to do with depth of love.

Not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver. I believe Matt is one of these people. Nothing to do with sex at all. Maybe Tiffany will be very independent with self-care, who knows. Not everyone is able to watch another person suffer either. I believe Matt may fall into this category as well. Maybe Tiffany trying to stay optimistic is partly for him. This is all just speculation but my view of Matt changed a lot when he went out of town during her biopsy.

Tiffany probably is not a virgin if doing videos in bed when obviously naked is any clue.

Whoever said Tiffany would be “settling” for an older man was ironically showing their ageism while criticizing someone else for being ableist.



I was typing while you were posting. You expressed much of my thoughts in a much clearer, efficient way!

Miriam I wouldn't read too much into Matt not being there for Tiffanys biopsy procedure.

I love my husband deeply, he's not only my husband, he is my best friend and my soulmate.
I didn't always attend all his medical procedures, but its nothing to do with my feelings towards him.
When he was initially diagnosed we came to realise that life for us would be full of appointments, procedures, hospital admissions, scans and scan results. It becomes a way of life.
No way could both of us attend everything. I am self employed and still have a mortgage to pay and bills to pay because we are still in our early 30's. I attended and do attend what we feel to be Important appointments, and that's always scan results for us.
Biopsy is a patient going off to theatre and laying around for several hours. Nurses coming in and out of his bay to check his post ops etc and I would feel in the way. If he had complications then they take next of kin details and would be able to contact me.
Additionally, when Tiff had C diff she was at her local hospital where they allowed Amma to stay in the same room as Tiffany. Amma wouldn't be able to stay over at the Royal Marsden when Tiffany is on a ward. Like the last video, Tiffany has been told she can have one person with her and shes chose her mum, not Matt.

 

[Idrisrex]

I should have rephrased. Of what benefit would TPN be to Tiffany right now when she is capable of eating?

The sole benefit is that the liquid food can be high in calories and enriched with nutrients.

 

[Saydee]

Capable of eating does not mean capable of absorbing with a malfuctioning system due to advanced local cancer. She needs extra help and high intake. She mentioned herself in her latest video she does not understand why is not gaining weight with all she eats. The girl has obvious cachexia due to a very large tumor growth. Needing a pelvic exentaration means her tumor has locally advanced to many organs.
Also she has lost so much blood for months her hemoglobin level must be really low. The article I posted this morning clearly states the hemoglobin levels pre surgery should be high along her protein intakes.

If Tiffany had cachexia she wouldn't be having surgeries and biopsies. Nutrition does not help cachexia.

If tiffany had low hemoglobin it would be investigated and reversed before surgery.

 

[LeonorG]

The thing is, none of us know what has been said in those consultation rooms, bar Tiffany's version, and she's not a reliable narrator. Nor does she bring anyone particularly switched on to her consultations.

I expect her surgeon was encouraging her to consider the surgery as soon as it was an option, because it's the only thing that will buy her time. If she was dragging her heels, then the conservative approach (watchful wait, more scans etc), was one of the few alternatives, but given Tiffany's denial at the time, she would interpret W&W as being just as good as having surgery. I mean, this is a woman who asked her YouTube 'family' on camera what she should do. These are the actions of someone desperate, scared and woefully unequipped to deal with the reality as her cheerleaders were telling her what she wanted to hear, and not what she needed to hear.

I agree. Surprising to me that that surgery was not done when the results were good 10 weeks ago. I thought that was the aim. Now, whilst it's not too late, there is the additional complication of spreading to the colon (and who knows what else).

 

[EmyUrban]

Disagree with the first part. She knew way back what the surgery was about. She mentioned its life-changing effects back in May (or even before that). I think what happened is that in line with the August results, the doctor proposed 3 options, one of them immediate surgery and the other watching and waiting. When Tiffany heard 'watching and waiting', she started to believe that she is cancer free and chose that option.
Yes nothing makes sense. Now it seems the operation is imminent and she understands that but back in August there was no massive push for the surgery. I don't get what changed. The tumour was still there 10 weeks ago. We will never understand without hearing the actual surgeon's words.

The only change is the suspicious thickening higher than the initial tumour, that was not there before .

 

[Saydee]

Good point, while reading I realised that I haven’t had sex for 11 years now. Not through any physical condition, more that I can’t be bothered to deal with all the nonsense that usually goes along with the penis. I can’t imagine Matt and Tiffany going at it hammer and tong every night with dear old Amma in the next room, my lord!

" more that I can’t be bothered to deal with all the nonsense that usually goes along with the penis. "

 

[Anxious4life]

Just an FYI as I find it strange (not bad at all, au contraire, but different!). Where I live, unless you're a child or somehow incapable of understanding what might be said (due to cognitive issues of whatever kind), you attend all your meetings alone.

Heck, my husband didn't even accompany me to the hospital, he was working. Now I gotta wonder does he even love me

 

[Saydee]

The sole benefit is that the liquid food can be high in calories and enriched with nutrients.

I know that. The fortisip she is prescribed is liquid food which is high in calories and nutrients. What would be the benefit of them stopping that prescription and changing to TPN? Tiffany had TPN when she had C diff, she doesn't have C Diff now, she is capable of eating and drinking. She's prescribed liquid food.

 

[BCrowl]

I agree. Surprising to me that that surgery was not done when the results were good 10 weeks ago. I thought that was the aim. Now, whilst it's not too late, there is the additional complication of spreading to the colon (and who knows what else).

I was just watching “The Patient Story” on YouTube. They were interviewing this lady Joanne, who had Stage 3 colorectal cancer. She had the same treatments as Tiffany. They had thought she would need surgery, but her tumor really responded to the chemo. The tumor kept shrinking, and after chemo, it disappeared. So she told the surgeon she would prefer watch an wait. She has to get checked every month for 5 years.
She would always get her test results a day later. Her medical team already made a plan as to what to do.