The Ingham Family #328 Sarah Ingham is a shameless grief thief
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Priority education
VIP Member
Please don’t blame yourself for this. You were NOT stupid. Health anxiety and issues surrounding a traumatic experience are NOT your fault. You did your best, I’m sure. There needs to be more done to support people with this procedure who have had a traumatic experience not just dismissing it then if something happens blaming them. I’m sure some random telling you that online will help
BUT it is true. You need to concentrate on your health and getting better. The two week wait can feel like two years. If you can, do some nice things for YOU during that time, spend a day as a tourist where you live, looking at those things you miss because you live there, even if you live somewhere tourists don’t go, hunt down a museum and lose yourself in the past.... But please no more beating yourself up.I understand wanting to stay away, but remember we are all here. Mean evil old haterz and trollz that we are hiding out in our parents dusty basements on a dusty website (here’s an activity for you - how does a website become dusty?!
). I’m aware I just told you to get out of yours, scary stuff... Good luck and sorry if I sound like your mum!
- x x -
Sarah, this is what happens when you have medical issues. This is what should be happening with your children’s medical issues. You do not prioritise your husbands or your selfish needs. You prioritise them, you cancel holidays, you move birthdays... You’re all extremely unhealthy oth your lifestyle choice of disappearing on ‘holidays’ and need to sort yourselves out before life happens and forces that on you because there’s no excuse at all for you not sorting it all out. None.
Priority education
VIP Member
Health anxiety is cruel. Sadly is is also highly prevalent. Unbelievably it is rarely addressed. Smears aren’t nice and are very traumatic for some people. I had an amazing doctor who recognised this decades ago. She sensitively offered patients the opportunity to insert and open them remove the speculum themselves. She only did the actual smear. Obviously I don’t know how many ladies took her up on it, I believe more should be considerate and offer this.
Rosie Tatler
VIP Member
I fully understand the shock and terror you are now feeling , we as a family faced this in covid times , hopefully after the bank holiday you will get the hospital support you need .
Everyone reacts differently to such news , some people want to keep it to themselves others want to reach out and talk to their family and friends all I can say is now you have the complete justification to do whatever makes you feel better .
I found that once the NHS system kicked in the care received was wonderful and relieved lots of fear , I wish you all the best xx
uwu
VIP Member
Thank you everyone for your kind words, had a good cry once my daughter left for work and I’m trying to be upbeat and do what I do best as an autistic person and mask. I’ve been told to cancel my holiday once the doctor has sorted out a letter for me as no way will I be well enough to go Japan this July. Which sucks but hoping I’ll get through this so I can rebook for next year instead. I just really wish I didn’t ignore all those smear letters. Biggest regret of my life.
Rosie Tatler
VIP Member
Sarah this persons sad news is exactly why nobody has any time for you berating the NHS or cancelling appointments you have for your own selfish reasons , resources within the NHS are stretched to breaking point , those appointments you cancelled could have been given to someone who really needed them even if they didn't know at the time they had something serious .
I hope the consultant gives you sharp talking to whenever you finally decide to attend an appointment .
I hope the consultant gives you sharp talking to whenever you finally decide to attend an appointment .
MissWinnie
VIP Member
Sarah needs reminding of this point as well, she keeps referring to Izzy as a ‘child/teen’ and she’s 18. It makes it all the more disgusting that she’s still with a grown 30 something man who has, on multiple occasions, approached girls younger than her eldest daughter with the intention of wanting to have sexual activities with them
Where is the excuse for that behaviour Sarah when you are pulling up people for commenting and showing concern to your own daughter as being out of order?
Cheezychips
VIP Member
Please dont beat yourself up, it's human nature to ignore (or try to) things which make us feel anxious, I'm autistic too and have the most horrendous health anxiety and it's based around C due to experiences with family members as a child, so I can understand why you put it off. I'm so sorry the holidays will be delaying you speaking to your healthcare team, but I hope that few days is made up for once things open back up. The treatment for C nowadays is far beyond anything I ever thought they could do when I was a kid and had family going through it and I know everything possible will be given to you support wise, and we are always here if you need us
Health anxiety can be crippling, so you've got nothing to blame yourself for at all, as it was said earlier in the thread, theres no where near enough awareness or support for it. Japan will be waiting for you once you're feeling strong enough 
uwu
VIP Member
Please dont beat yourself up, it's human nature to ignore (or try to) things which make us feel anxious, I'm autistic too and have the most horrendous health anxiety and it's based around C due to experiences with family members as a child, so I can understand why you put it off. I'm so sorry the holidays will be delaying you speaking to your healthcare team, but I hope that few days is made up for once things open back up. The treatment for C nowadays is far beyond anything I ever thought they could do when I was a kid and had family going through it and I know everything possible will be given to you support wise, and we are always here if you need us
I don’t think it helps when the doctor basically moans when they find out you haven’t had a smear, the consultant was like this is what we see when women never have a smear, which I understand but when you have really awful health anxiety thrown in with autism it’s just difficult. He didn’t seem very caring just came across blunt and think he got annoyed when I kept asking will I die. The nurses however were lovely.
I look at the Inghams and in all honesty wonder why nothing bad ever happens to them but a good person like me ends up with cancer (not that I’d wish this on them) I just don’t understand.
All I can do is hope it hasn’t spread, I had a ct scan for urology last august which was clear, an internal pelvic ultrasound which was clear it just didn’t pick up the mass from my cervix and my mammogram came back clear on weds. It’s just the waiting game now for treatment to start.
milliemaggie
Active member
So sorry to hear about this, treatment is so advanced these days, this will probably be just a blip in your life. I keep getting texts about a smear text I have been ignoring them. I have never been sexually active before in my life and didn't think I needed one, but I will look into it.
uwu
VIP Member
Please go and get one, I haven’t been sexually active in years and thought I would be ok. I certainly didn’t think I’d have a large cancerous tumour in my cervix. My symptoms was blood in urine which got treated as a uti, pinkish discharge which I thought was just ovulation, I had one heavy long week bleed a week after my period back in december then pelvic and lower back pain. The back pain I thought was because I needed a new mattress. But looking back now these are all symptoms of cervical cancer
Basic
VIP Member
Please go and get one, I haven’t been sexually active in years and thought I would be ok. I certainly didn’t think I’d have a large cancerous tumour in my cervix. My symptoms was blood in urine which got treated as a uti, pinkish discharge which I thought was just ovulation, I had one heavy long week bleed a week after my period back in december then pelvic and lower back pain. The back pain I thought was because I needed a new mattress. But looking back now these are all symptoms of cervical cancer
I have mine (been avoiding too) next week and thanks to you I won’t be rearranging it, thank you.
I hope your treatment goes smoothly and that you have support from those you love. Take care of yourself and don’t feel guilty for not doing it sooner. I’m glad the nurses were kind to you.Some GP surgeries here offer a self collection cervical screening test which should make things easier for some women who find them difficult.
timemoveson
Chatty Member
curious cookie jar
VIP Member
Wishing you the absolute very best for the future and a positive outcome. As a person who has been through this myself, my advice is to access Macmillan now. They’re a great resource even if you just want to talk but really good at sorting out the practical stuff as well.Please go and get one, I haven’t been sexually active in years and thought I would be ok. I certainly didn’t think I’d have a large cancerous tumour in my cervix. My symptoms was blood in urine which got treated as a uti, pinkish discharge which I thought was just ovulation, I had one heavy long week bleed a week after my period back in december then pelvic and lower back pain. The back pain I thought was because I needed a new mattress. But looking back now these are all symptoms of cervical cancer
Again, wishing you the very best and know that when the cry of “Man down” comes we all show up for it to hold your hand and channel all the positive Vibes you can handle
uwu
VIP Member
I have been assigned a Macmillan nurse and she will be calling me on Tuesday to see how I am.
Just want to add that you are all so lovely, I live quite an isolated life due to my mental health and autism and was feeling so alone earlier when I was having a cry but you have all made me feel like I have people in my corner rooting for me so thank you
I have my parents obv who will be driving me to the hospital etc for treatment but all my close friends live far away so I’m pretty much at home with just my daughter. I just hope this doesn’t affect her alevels as she’s meant to go UCL in September. Anyways thank you all so much.
You don’t need to be upbeat and mask (I do the same thing, so I totally understand) and don’t let ignoring those letters effect you now. It’s done. Let it go. I’ve friends who did the same, with what you have ahead you don’t need the regret no top. If you could have you would have. You did your best. Now take care of yourself, for God’s sake don’t buy into all the fighting talk, no one whose seen a loved one suffer cancer thinks they didn’t fight hard enough; oh no wait, I forgot SARAH INGHAM had a pop at her mum for not fighting enough to be at her wedding to twit-in-a-hat-big-spoilt-brat
You do you, and, remember we are cheering you on!
ETA ignore the consultant being a berk. My specialist once told me you get more than your fair share of assholes in medicine; he’s a world known specialist and still gets doctors ignoring his diagnosis!. They should not have taken their frustration out on you. Frustration which would be better served looking into helping people who, for whatever, reason struggle with them - I’ve never had one, they’re so triggering for me getting the reminders have seen me put in hospital.
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