The Chateau Diaries #334 "My Mom went to LieLande and all I got was a raging case of TB and a T-shirt"

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Two things afore I pull the shutters down on today.
  1. @tuffiti thank you for sharing the latest patrons’ video. All I can say is, wow, Stephanie actually knows some seemingly normal, well-adjusted, articulate, natural people. A proper family. Lovely house. The kilt tutorial was fun and interesting. I have to admit to a frisson of delight at the prancing twerp looking overwhelmed and unnerved at what he was being told. He clearly had no idea what “white tie” meant, which was a very special moment. Why, I wonder did Liz (?) decide to allow her chum to film her family during this visit, and for the four of them to be front and centre of the vlog? Not, I feel, their natural territory. That’s the conundrum.
  2. Marie and her question to find some freelance work for the Lalande off season. How, pray tell, does she think a rather vague post on IG is going to magic up job offers? Disappointment beckons if she doesn’t make more of an effort.
 
Loser Herbert is utterly out of his depth.
Fanny’s friend has a whole wardrobe of all thinks Kilt including this sporran which is / was a wild cat.
He now knows that his kilt is for day wear, ha ha and he will most likely wear it with a jumper. Queue more boxy fluffy jumpers in lilac.
He also has his full hair on. Weirdo
 

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I am a people watcher. Not a voyeur but a people watcher. I do it in bars and restaurants, on trains or planes, motorway services in fact, anywhere where there are lots of people together in plain sight as am I. And I try to guess their story or their relationship to each other.

If I had been on the Scottish train and didn't know Despicable fanny, Thrush and Co I would be trying to guess their story and their family dynamic. This is how I would have pegged them...
▪︎ Marie and baghead - husband and wife, perhaps on a celebration trip. I think that would be fairly evident to the observer.
▪︎ Despicable fanny - I would have pegged as the divorced sister of nic baghead. Brought along because they feel sorry for her.
▪︎ Thrush - I would guess to be the stroppy, wanting to be anywhere else, reluctant son and only child of the divorced sister. There solely to make everyone else's trip unpleasant and unbearable.

That is how I imagine the other guests on the train to see them.
 
CatherinePerry-l7z
2 hours ago
Philip, can you please do the Charleston in your kilt. That, I would watch


@florentinalily
4 hours ago
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Tweed has nothing to do with camouflage
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it has everything to do with identifying which clan you belong to and the way the tweed was made on small looms. You see the same in the himalayan kingdoms like Bhutan who produce a tweed pattern because of the way its made


🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
@Sparrowdean
1 hour ago
Personally, I think you are confusing two different things: clan tartans worn by individuals and estate tweeds, which are the traditional uniforms for employees, gamekeepers, stalkers, etc. When Stephanie was talking about the tweed uniforms made for the outdoor estate workers, her explanation made perfect sense. She wasn't talking about the different clan tartans that identify the family's surname. You are confused.
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paulwarrington5197
4 hours ago
Wearing his Kilt will cheer Phillip up, am sure. I hope he has bought loads of Scottish brooches
 
NotAChatelaine said:
The thing about Ballindalloch Castle is that the interior - the furniture, paintings, china, wallpapers, fabrics, all of it - is what Stephanie thinks she’s replicating at Lalande. Except that she hasn’t a hope in hell as she doesn’t have the “feel” for how decorating and furnishing individual rooms or a whole house works. Ballindaloch is the quintessential country house, the contents of which have been gathered by its owners over centuries. A mixture of periods and styles works because it has evolved over generations. It’s not a museum but a lived-in, family home. Welcoming, comfortable, well-thought out colours, cohesive without being matchy-matchy.

Her excited chirruping about the china pantry showed just how clueless she is. That room isn’t a china pamtry. It’s a smaller, less formal dining room with glass-fromted display cabinets. Yes, the cabinets were filled with (lovely) china but it is not a china pantry. A china pantry is beyond the green baize door and forms part of the “domestic offices”. Both she and her frightful affianced think themselves so sophisticated when they’re both without a scintilla of an idea about country house living. They get lauded by some viewers simply because those viewers don’t have any idea themselves and think the Jarvis version is la vraie chose.

I cringe every time she shoehorns Lalande into wherever it is she’s visiting.
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Well said NotAChatelaine....Fanny's shitoo bears no resemblance to the tasteful Ballindalloch Castle which was primarily decorated in complimentary shades of cream, pink and green with the odd touch of tartan carpet giving a nod to its Scottish ancestry.

No wallpaper coloured in with marker. No tacky Ardmore vase. No worn-out, discoloured lampshades. Lots of proper lighting.
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Discrete wallpaper, portraits properly light and clean comfortable furniture with no bird tit stains in sight. Just one needlepoint pillow and no tacky cartoon pillows of Snorty, Fanny and Ratso 1.0.
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Unlike the Marquis Suite, there's no unfinished gaps in the panelling
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Restful boudoirs painted in calm shades of green & pink and quiet wallpaper and no faded, wrinkled Pepto-Bismisal pink fabric drooping off the walls. No liquour trolleys of booze anywhere in sight or piles of books gathering dust.
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Beautifully displayed china with no piles of porcelain cluttering every surface of every room. Asian themes are tastefully highlighted without any painful, blood-red walls or cliche black furniture resembling a tacky Chinese takeout.
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Clean, functional passages with no cobwebs the size of Fanny's gargantuan hands covered in peacock & bat tit. Not one pervy painting in the whole damn place and no back passage stuffed with blue & white porcelain on display.
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NotAChatelaine said:
Marie and her question to find some freelance work for the Lalande off season. How, pray tell, does she think a rather vague post on IG is going to magic up job offers? Disappointment beckons if she doesn’t make more of an effort.
Click to expand...
Nobody asked, but me - I thought it had been agreed that Marie was staying at LaLande over the winter as dog's body, dog sitter, dog feeder etc when the mostly absent were fully absent?
 
@johngraham8794
3 hours ago
@LaReynedEpee Well I don''t think that Mel Gibson will be worried when he sees Phillip in his kilt . Where on earth will Phillip wear it ? And at the cost of a hand made kilt in Scotland I don't know that many tourists buy them..maybe a tartan scarf yes a kilt no.


@LaReynedEpee
3 hours ago
@johngraham8794 Believe me, the shops on Princes Street sell plenty of them to tourists. Who knows, maybe he'll wear it to his wedding.

@johngraham8794
3 hours ago
@LaReynedEpee But he didn't buy it from Prince's Street this is a hand made kilt... and why on earth someone Dutch would want to wear a kilt to a French wedding is beyond me.. unless he thinks he is Bonnie Prince Charles ..
 
NotAChatelaine said:
The thing about Ballindalloch Castle is that the interior - the furniture, paintings, china, wallpapers, fabrics, all of it - is what Stephanie thinks she’s replicating at Lalande. Except that she hasn’t a hope in hell as she doesn’t have the “feel” for how decorating and furnishing individual rooms or a whole house works. Ballindaloch is the quintessential country house, the contents of which have been gathered by its owners over centuries. A mixture of periods and styles works because it has evolved over generations. It’s not a museum but a lived-in, family home. Welcoming, comfortable, well-thought out colours, cohesive without being matchy-matchy.

Her excited chirruping about the china pantry showed just how clueless she is. That room isn’t a china pamtry. It’s a smaller, less formal dining room with glass-fromted display cabinets. Yes, the cabinets were filled with (lovely) china but it is not a china pantry. A china pantry is beyond the green baize door and forms part of the “domestic offices”. Both she and her frightful affianced think themselves so sophisticated when they’re both without a scintilla of an idea about country house living. They get lauded by some viewers simply because those viewers don’t have any idea themselves and think the Jarvis version is la vraie chose.

I cringe every time she shoehorns Lalande into wherever it is she’s visiting.
Click to expand...
The difference is, Ballindalloch furniture is inherited - Fanny's place looks like a cross between Emmaus and an auction room.
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UvulaDonor said:
Not that I don't doubt he didn't sleep in the same bed as her - but when you turn down a bed that has one side up against the wall, would you turn down both sides if two people in the cabin?
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I think he was going to share a room with her - and then she took one look at his grey, pasty, sweaty face and red nose and was fearful of catching a cold - she knew she needed to edit etc. So I think they enquired if there was a free berth somewhere and he was turned out into it. She can afford it - or maybe if there was a spare suite, she negotiated a discount. Wherever he was, he wasn't sharing her room. One whiskey does not a nightcap for two make.
 
Freesia54 said:
The minute she broke into song... I thought I can't wait to see Tattlers comments...Snorts in a skirt... will he wear tights? At least he'll have ball room 🙈 😂
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She broke into song and kept the camera over the water. Meanwhile we missed all the action - Marie and Nick clutching themselves and stuffing their fists into their mouth to conceal their hysteria. Shortage of oxygen led to collapse and an ambulance being called. This is why we have seen so little of them. They must ask themselves how they ever allowed a beautiful and sophisticated trip to be marred by having to endure the humiliation of being with Fanny and Snorts.
 
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