The Chateau Diaries #315 500.000€ spent on the chapel made Saint Joseph drop dead.

[Madame de Pompanddoodoo]

There was more time travel in that vlog than Dr Who has seen for quite a while. Snippets from a lot of different days cobbled together leading to the fact that they all have at least NINE days in London. Hampton Court will be one day so would just love to know what they are up to for the rest of the time.
And logically why would mummy dear and Percy leave Framlingham spend approximately 4 days at the shittoo then return back to Framlingham when they know that they would be at the shittoo at the end of this week ready for the Patreon Daze fiasco. What was so important that they needed to be in shittooland for that weekend?
Also Annemarie and Nutti will be away for more than 2 weeks in their “small” break to Argentina though they will definitely be back in time for the aforementioned fiasco.
More controlling behaviour by Fanny weaving her web of lies and deceit.

 

[TorontoGWM]

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[Pekey]

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Those jeans of Snorts are sooooo tight I bet he does "phantom phone calls " with the pressure of his crap pants every time he moves !!!

 

[On Repeat]

He's doing more than 'phantom phone calls". More like crap in his pants.

 

[Jeeves]

And logically why would mummy dear and Percy leave Framlingham spend approximately 4 days at the shittoo then return back to Framlingham when they know that they would be at the shittoo at the end of this week ready for the Patreon Daze fiasco. What was so important that they needed to be in shittooland for that weekend?

Channel 4 filming of course. That's why they have all crawled out of the woodwork. She needed a houseful to keep up the pretence of love, life and laughter for filming.

 

[TorontoGWM]

There was more time travel in that vlog than Dr Who has seen for quite a while. Snippets from a lot of different days cobbled together leading to the fact that they all have at least NINE days in London. Hampton Court will be one day so would just love to know what they are up to for the rest of the time.
And logically why would mummy dear and Percy leave Framlingham spend approximately 4 days at the shittoo then return back to Framlingham when they know that they would be at the shittoo at the end of this week ready for the Patreon Daze fiasco. What was so important that they needed to be in shittooland for that weekend?
Also Annemarie and Nutti will be away for more than 2 weeks in their “small” break to Argentina though they will definitely be back in time for the aforementioned fiasco.
More controlling behaviour by Fanny weaving her web of lies and deceit.

I don’t know how they can be absent for 9 days. They cannot serve alcohol at the B&B dinners without the chatelaine present. I can’t see the aunt and uncle hosting B&B dinners.

They are there til at least Friday. How are they getting back for the B&B dinner on Friday or are there no guests this weekend?

 

[Cleo's Asp]

Why doesn't Perma spend some of her.money having her daughter's teeth seen to? She would look so much better. They seem to get on well together. Perma and Simon worked hard to create a bedroom for her in their latest vlog.

Do the rest of you get as infuriated as I do by Fanny's rehearsed sarcastic tone in every single vlog? can't stand her. I know it's a nasty thing to say but she is extremely plain without any make up but looks so old with her hair scraped back when she is made up or like a blow up doll with her hair loose plus make up!

 

[Jeeves]

I don’t know how they can be absent for 9 days. They cannot serve alcohol at the B&B dinners without the chatelaine present. I can’t see the aunt and uncle hosting B&B dinners.

They managed it when Permasmile and her hubby hosted guest dinners for her. They filmed two dinners with the same group of guests. Do we know that they had guests booked in for that weekend? She may have left it vacant knowing that Channel 4 were coming, and she was off to London. We know that some weekends were unavailable for booking.

 

[JackSpratt]

It looks like he’s wiping his hands off on her dress

He's thinking eeeewwww icky, I don't want to do it.

I don't believe they made contact.

 

[MsMuir]

Tale from the Crypt... My Dad left his hearing aid on the bedside table, put it in but a fly had dropped eggs on it overnight, he had maggots in his ear.. eating... yep... he got quite off balance and couldn't function properly so they took him to hospital... so ladies and gentlemen, check your hearing aids before you put them in...

Ok you win! You get the award for the most horrifying story told

 

[JackSpratt]

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Ha, that's the woman who didn't like her egg comfit.

Fanny probably gave them a free photo of her with them, rather than just the royal wave goodbye, to avoid a crap review.

 

[MsMuir]

Do you think Stephanie is too cheap to employ an adequate amount of gardeners to maintain the crappy gardens ?Why have an 80+ year old man still recovering from a deadly TB infection on a grifted lawnmower at the Dump while 28/29 grifter Snorts sits inside the Dump fondling his tiny teapot.

Not one bit shocked they propped ole Percy up on the lawnmower. Remember when Isabelle would drive that mower around like a bat out of hell and she only had vision in 1 ???

 

[KiKiGee]

Chantal started saying she looked nice and Mummy just blanked her out. Those two sisters just about tolerate eachother, Chantal looked stressed and tense in her presence.
What an odd dysfunctional family they are.

Sweet old Mummy is a witch !
Why her sister stays around her I do not know.

 

[MsMuir]

I was raised to never visit someone’s home with empty hands... just like the Drew Barrymore character in the film Music and Lyrics, anyone seen it? I like to bring something when invited to be grateful. But Permasmile goes over the top, then she goes over the top again and again, like begging to be close friends to Staphanie… the decaying popular girl.

I believe both Permasmile and the Puffs are nice people on their own, they are polite and like to offer gifts and food to their friends when they go for a visit. But Phony is a blood sucking taker who cares for no one.

Hope Permaslimey wakes up soon and realizes her connection to Staphanie is damaging her own image?

If I were to visit the decrepit farmhouse this is what I'd bring

 

[Thebirdandthefrog]

Trying to avoid almost unbelievable news for our country and other stressors here, thank you for letting me dream.
About the Caprese salad. Marie doesn't get the terroir thing at all -- not that you're not allowed to serve chimichurri or Caprese salad in France.
The terroir on Caprese salad is that, first of all, that stuff all grows in a very special microclimate, of which basil and a few other sun and rock loving herbs are a main feature. I'm sure the Roman emporers who vacayed on Capri were eating it. It's also the colors of the flag of Italy, which as far as I can make out, has no lightening strike of cantaloupe on it.
Caprese salad is almost the Platonic ideal of a salad, and it relates completely to that place. The rest of us can only dream of being there when we eat it. Terroir, food has roots. The combo isn't sacred. It's just perfect.
Trying to ascertain if you can grow melons on Capri....here's a menu from a Caprese resto. They serve it perfectly with prosciutto, also so classic you really don't want to mess with it. There's also a fruit salad. I would eat everything on this menu, lemon sherbet, eggplant balls, gratinated anchovies, every fish, dang. And the Caprese salad.

Menu

www.ristorantealgrottino.net

Agree that serving Caprese salad in France is not the real problem with Marie’s creation, if it was a real Caprese salad. Her insane concoction is an insane destructed Caprese in an unthinkable blending with the melon prosciutto. Looks like a salad of leftovers.

Caprese salad are found in menus everywhere around the world these days…and variations mostly include different types of cheeses and pesto instead of fresh basil.

I think, never researched it though, Caprese is a creation post unification of Italy when the American tomato was already part of the Italian culture. Don’t think any Roman emperor ever tried a tomato… maybe the ancient Roman Capreses were made with figs instead of tomatoes.

 

[MRShavershamsdress]

I was raised to never visit someone’s home with empty hands... just like the Drew Barrymore character in the film Music and Lyrics, anyone seen it? I like to bring something when invited to be grateful. But Permasmile goes over the top, then she goes over the top again and again, like begging to be close friends to Staphanie… the decaying popular girl.

I believe both Permasmile and the Puffs are nice people on their own, they are polite and like to offer gifts and food to their friends when they go for a visit. But Phony is a blood sucking taker who cares for no one.

Hope Permaslimey wakes up soon and realizes her connection to Staphanie is damaging her own image?

I was raised much the same way. Unless a specific request for something was made I always defaulted to a bottle of quality wine or flowers if the hosts didn’t drink. It’s just polite. Plus you always repay hospitality. Fanny absolutely would not do that.

 

[KiKiGee]

Not one bit shocked they propped ole Percy up on the lawnmower. Remember when Isabelle would drive that mower around like a bat out of hell and she only had vision in 1 👁???

Isabelle Jarvis drove, (a gift, from the patron grift), a husqvarna lawn mower.
Stephanie Jarvis now owns three; a John Deere, a Husqvarna, and a Honda.
Percy is on a new HONDA lawn mower...

 

[MsMuir]

These are a few of what I came up with.
Credit to @Lady Avonlea for 1 & 2

Apologies if I've disappointed with my not so creative thread title options. Bright side, this will probably be my only time to name a thread as there are heaps of incredibly talented people here, probably giving me a side eye.

@ComtesseRose Thanks for all that you do & allowing me to butcher the CD thread title. Need help deciding which one to use.

1. Stephanie has an inverted crucifix because she is the devil

2. Stephanie has an inverted crucifix because she worships the God of
grift and Lies

3.Stephanie & her Chateau filled with lies, inedible pies, & a porcelain hoarding gayance who spies.

4. Marie identifies as a Chef.
Fanny identifies as a Princess.
PhiPhi identifies as a Queen.

Don't sell yourself short, all are good options. I'm partial to #3

 

[JackSpratt]

Agree that serving Caprese salad in France is not the real problem with Marie’s creation, if it was a real Caprese salad. Her insane concoction is an insane destructed Caprese in an unthinkable blending with the melon prosciutto. Looks like a salad of leftovers.

Caprese salad are found in menus everywhere around the world these days…and variations mostly include different types of cheeses and pesto instead of fresh basil.

I think, never researched it though, Caprese is a creation post unification of Italy when the American tomato was already part of the Italian culture. Don’t think any Roman emperor ever tried a tomato… maybe the ancient Roman Capreses were made with figs instead of tomatoes.

I'm sure the guests would be happier with a more clean and simple plate of food, there's so much garniture and little to no meal.

Where I am they will have melon and serrano ham as a starter, with a lovely crusty baguette smothered with butter (salted).

She could even go out and buy delicious rotisserie chicken, all done and dusted from either the local butcher (if they do them) or the supermarket. quarter the chickens and give the guests something more than a bloody slither. They don't utilise their local butcher, there will be the local beef, pork etc?

For example, Noirmouiter potatoes are in season (like Jersey Royals), .

Make more use of the vegetables in the garden.

Use the local boulangerie, have a business account with them.

Even by using theses places she's not going to be out of a job is she.

Just serve good wholesome food, just stop with all of the poncing about and then the meal might be going someway to being worth it's 75 euro price tag. As it stands at the moment it's a disgrace.

It's a B&B, note a five star luxury hotel with a michelin restaurant.

Just stop with the pretence

 

[Jeeves]

I'm sure the guests would be happier with a more clean and simple plate of food, there's so much garniture and little to no meal.

Where I am they will have melon and serrano ham as a starter, with a lovely crusty baguette smothered with butter (salted).

She could even go out and buy delicious rotisserie chicken, all done and dusted from either the local butcher (if they do them) or the supermarket. quarter the chickens and give the guests something more than a bloody slither. They don't utilise their local butcher, there will be the local beef, pork etc?

For example, Noirmouiter potatoes are in season (like Jersey Royals), .

Make more use of the vegetables in the garden.

Use the local boulangerie, have a business account with them.

Even by using theses places she's not going to be out of a job is she.

Just serve good wholesome food, just stop with all of the poncing about and then the meal might be going someway to being worth it's 75 euro price tag. As it stands at the moment it's a disgrace.

It's a B&B, note a five star luxury hotel with a michelin restaurant.

Just stop with the pretence

No-one visits the Dump for the food! The guests are generally there for a maximum of two dinners. I completely agree with you. Simple, wholesome, good quality food food is all that is needed, not the pretentious concoctions served there. I always feel that they are trying to disguise poor quality ingredients and ingredients past their best when the food has to be messed about. There is no need for dehydrated raspberries, foams , radish or picked onions with everything, topped off with flowers. No need for porcelain dinner services. The china Billy bought for the convent kitchen is far more suitable and looks far nicer.