The Chateau Diaries #311 Got to pretend to be in the UK for 181 days a year to be a UK tax resident!

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OhIDontKnow... said:
I thought just for fun I’d describe my day using Fannyspeak.

I awakened this morning to a beautiful case of arthritic hips and rolled haphazardly out of my antique carved mahogany bed with TJ Maxx linens, to find a glorious sunny day had been happening for five hours. I ran into the kitchen to make my morning coffee, whilst I yelled at my $6000 dogs to shut the duck up. After having coffee and chocolate for morning nibbles, I patiently waited to see if my body would move. After reading the New York Times, Washington Post, and the Apple News feed, I logged into Tattle to see what the witches and hags had been up to overnight.

After deciding I wasn’t going out in public with a black eye I acquired whilst stepping on a rake two days ago, I did a bit of dog petting. After two hours I realized I was fully awake and began to plan my day. I am so excited I can write again after having a trigger finger mysteriously manifest a month and a half ago. I set out to do my to do list with my newly injected thumb. It was by this time 2:30 in the afternoon. I noted the amazing beauty of the $6000 dogs and told them to shut the duck up.

Whilst I was making my to do list I noticed a pang of hunger. While I am not intermittently fasting, I decided not to eat because my beautiful creature of a husband likes to eat dinner at 10:00, and doing that will make me turn into a waddler. I went back to my to do list and found I’d already done most of it to my utter happiness. I then proceeded to shop online for my groceries on the most exquisite website, Instacart. Whilst awaiting my delivery, I opened my mail and all the lovely little parcels I purchased whilst shopping on Ambien. I could hardly remember purchasing any of them and they were all beautiful. Especially the new timer for our irrigation system.

I decided to stay in my super comfy sweatpants I had slept in, they are made by Champion. I also purchased them in an Ambien haze, they are p-heautiful!

Oh God. This toxic positivity tit is tiring. I quit.
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I sit here in a waiting room waiting for an xray and the other patients must think I'm absolutely bonkers, laughing and guffawing out loud. Thank you, thank you for keeping me saine!
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Just Grift Wood said:
The irony is Fanny only ever does a spot of DIY for the Chateau DIY TV show- in her staged managed cutesy romper suit. Fanny's back is weak because she is of a certain age and only moves from airport to airport otherwise she lolls about like a bloated amoeba. Stephanie is peri menopausal and it is important to keep fit and build strength she doesn't even make her own meals. Anyone watching closely would realise she has never lived at the Chateau never mind tried to renovate the place she is literally bone idle. Channel 4 should be held to task for promoting someone who is clearly dishonest.

She really makes me puke she is revolting. We are led to believe that is Amaury's birthday with a few supermarket bought pastries for he beloved Cuz and she has to bring that back to her memories. When it is her Birthday her minions have to go all out yet for everyone else it is an after thought.

Fanny your bad back is muscular so get out of bed and move you ridiculous woman-what happened to your daily waddles?

The only consolation for us hags who see through all the love bombing and inane shite is Fanny hates being at the Chateau she would love to have her old life in London but she has sold her empty wizened soul to the grift so she is stuck at the dump.

where is @KyBourbon
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@KyBourbon absence is concerning 😟 I hope everything is alright.
 
graciemckitten said:
Annalise probably does the same for Dan’s YouTube comments. They are all thick as thieves.
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See how Stephanie’s manipulation works. Every time.. she conveniently gets ill or hurt yourself, especially when there’s work to be done. She pulls this tit at least 20 times a year in videos.
🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
rosalindhambleton9012
11 minutes ago
Happy Birthday, Amauri ! Stefany please rest back pain IS terrible, let me tell you I DO KNOW about it. Just an idea when you are not able to film because you are no well, let Phillipe do the filming, he is good at for sure he filmed so many Cadeaux at the Chateau, he will do a great job while you rest. Much love your way take care
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Look at the stupidly crafted "errors" and the odd false name. They are not even intelligent enough to create believable fakes!
 
Pekey said:
Yes Gertie..... you did her throwing method with bulbs too - Blast from the past!
Bet it looks wonderful !
We tried that birch method in our back yard but the birch trees died one by one over the years .... the drought did them in.
We have Crepe Myrtles there now - so far so good.
It was magical the village she designed in Mooroolbark . I don't know if they do the "Open Gardens" anymore Gertie - that's when we saw that home in the village but it was many years ago.
If a house does come up for sale its $$$$$$$$
I wonder how the Boulevard is fairing with all the road/rail stuff going on there ---- Its unrecognisable and such a Mess !!! My Dermo is around there and its shocking to get to now and the bangs and booms from the ground work! :oops:
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Just Grift Wood said:
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not a celebration
 
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thanks it's making my quality of life a lot less and pressing on other organs causes pain so it will be good to deal with once and all. These two annoy me with there gammy hips over dramatic colds or thrush infections, and histrionic allergies. When other tattlers here are suffering a lot worse health conditions than myself and still having to work jobs and cope with what life throws at them its no wonder this forum is here.
 
Fanny "lives in the fear of not able to film", the codeine has kicked in! More like she lives in fear that the "gravy train" will be coming to an end.

Where did the codeine come from Fanny? There are exercises you can do while in bed for your back or hip, check your vast library, don't you have any books on health? You have books on everything else!
 
NotAChatelaine said:
How proud the prancing twerp looks, standing there in his ill-fitting jacket that’s straining to contain his podgy tum.

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As if those two useless individuals will be of any help chez Richmond. Just an excuse for another lengthy leisure drive.
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another thing to loathe about him is his deportment, stand up straight you slouching twit. Sloping shoulders ew

Same he doesn't put his attention to detail to his neck hair it is growing only down one side. He is repugnant.
 
Lady Avonlea said:
What exactly is happening with the Chateau Renovations...? Nothing, except overdecorating & overspending on a deconsecrated chapel!
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Thebirdandthefrog said:
Dingo in his apron peeling green beans… 🤡

Just wonder if this is the kind of thing he usually did at home, for his wife…

I wouldn’t think so 🤭

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I can’t stand the mansplaining Dingo does, he’s so bloody arrogant and annoying. And Marie if you read here don’t touch your nose then go back and touch the food it’s sickening 🤢🤮
 
The hallway is a complete mess. Ceiling, still missing. door move, incomplete. Plaster removal, one patch and stopped. The story of every diy job in lalande, started but never finished. Bamber Gascoine University challenge approach needed.

I see the strawberry shoes made an appearance, I hope it was them that put her back out.
 
.........and comment of the day on the LALA Lande FB group goes to.........

Melissa E Brown
Happy Birthday to Amaury and many more with Natti at his side. Stephanie. Take care. Don't over do it. You can't keep up with Philip. He's still in his twenties. Be gentle with yourself, okay?

Made I larf, say it how it is Mel she's an old trout with a young effeminate flunky 😆 😆 😆 😆



@shatcho shiek hope you get thihgs sorted out soon and are on the mend xx

and to the rest of us with current health woes, we're well hard as we just carry on with it.
 
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