I respect this but it's also important to remember that the rate of deaths and serious injuries in infants and children has fallen massively since 20 years ago through what we know now regarding e.g. sleep safety, feeding guidelines, car seat safety. The internet wasn't at everybody's fingertips 20 years ago and social media was almost non-existent so whilst it seems like things never happened 20 years ago, it's really just that it wasn't reported or shared nationwide. The evidence speaks for itself. "I did it and my kids are fine" is just not an OK attitude to have. Me now know that rear facing until 4 reduces the risk of death by collision by 500%, we know weaning before 6 months increases the risk of life-long medical issues, we know that overheating is a huge factor in deaths of infants (pram and cot death) as is leaving them to sleep in car seats for prolonged periods of time, we have recorded infants dying by strangulation or suffocation from cot bumpers time and time again.
I do get what you're saying. I really do. But it's a matter of know better, do better. I promise that using a safe car seat, weaning when baby has a mature gut and following safe sleep guidelines really doesn't compromise a kid's childhood.
I don't think anybody should be slated for doing something that's unsafe - but I do think KNOWINGLY ignoring safety is unforgivable. And honestly, if you were told that rear facing is 500% safer, ignored it, and your child suffered a life long injury or worse, would you still ignore the guidelines? Probably not. You'd never forgive yourself. No parent would.
None of these parents who lose their children in tragic accidents would still do the same thing if they could go back.