Tattle Turds #5

1
TW mental health/self harm/ suicide

Hey all
I don’t think I’ve posted here before, more of a lurker than anything else. I just needed to rant because I’m having a bad day.
Big Al does not know how lucky she is and how much damage she is doing. I have a teenage child who is very poorly with mental health, and in an in-patient unit 3 hours away after a (thank god) failed attempt to hang herself.
I have a useless ex husband who does enough to make his circle think he co-parents but actually causes more harm to both our children.
Not only is Alice rejecting co-parenting, she is actively encouraging (IMO) mental health problems for her kids by dragging them through her own emotions.
I’m so angry. (I’m angry at the world right now but for some reason Alice is getting it today)

ok I just needed to let that out.
I do have an amazing supportive husband but he’s had too many Sunday beers to help me get through my ranting and raving tonight.
Thank you all for listening.
show up for your kids ❤
 
MissMissMissy said:
TW mental health/self harm/ suicide

Hey all
I don’t think I’ve posted here before, more of a lurker than anything else. I just needed to rant because I’m having a bad day.
Big Al does not know how lucky she is and how much damage she is doing. I have a teenage child who is very poorly with mental health, and in an in-patient unit 3 hours away after a (thank god) failed attempt to hang herself.
I have a useless ex husband who does enough to make his circle think he co-parents but actually causes more harm to both our children.
Not only is Alice rejecting co-parenting, she is actively encouraging (IMO) mental health problems for her kids by dragging them through her own emotions.
I’m so angry. (I’m angry at the world right now but for some reason Alice is getting it today)

ok I just needed to let that out.
I do have an amazing supportive husband but he’s had too many Sunday beers to help me get through my ranting and raving tonight.
Thank you all for listening.
show up for your kids ❤
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My thoughts and prayers go out to your daughter, you and your husband and your entire family. I'm not much good with words, especially with emotional topics like this. I never really know what to say. I hope your daughter is getting the help she needs, and she obviously has a very loving mum. Don't forget to look after yourself too. Maybe it would help you to speak to a therapist, someone professional you can vent too without it affecting your personal relationships? ❤
 
@MissMissMissy , I am so sorry about your daughter. The worst thing as a parent is feeling so helpless. And, you feel so alone. And no one seems to understand just how scared you are, all the time. You just want to know your child will be safe.
The worst thing is the lack of support, or when people downplay the seriousness of mental Illness. It's so hard for your daughter, and for you.
In the depths of a depression, my son said to me: "it won't last, mom. It won't be like this forever" and ge just kept hugging me. These words had an impact.
I hope with my whole heart you can hold your daughter and come to a place where she feels safe again. And that you can start to live again, too. ❤️
 
Haven’t posted on these threads for a couple of years but just popped on for a peep and saw your post @MissMissMissy I’m so, so sorry you’ve experienced this. I made an attempt and ended up on an inpatient unit too when I was younger due to a traumatic childhood and various other issues. There’s nothing I can say that will take away your pain or worry, but my thoughts are with you and your daughter. I can’t pretend to know how she’s feeling exactly but I can just give my experience and I hope it will give you some hope. I thought I was beyond help, and unlovable and that I was a burden to everyone around me. My mental health issues seemed too much to deal with. With the right support, love and gentle encouragement to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I came through the other side and I’m here today. You’re a strong person to come and talk about it, stronger than you may think. Sending you so much love - don’t hesitate to reach out for help and support and remember to look after yourself too while this is happening. I’m also sending love to your daughter, there is so much to live for and things can and will get better ♥
 
Oh EllaBella thank you for sharing, I’m so sorry you have been through so much. I feel so validated and reassured when people share their stories, it’s hard to see the light sometimes but then I hear from you and I remember this is a journey and we will get there one day.

It’s hard to comprehend what she is going through at the unit because I feel some things are making parts of her so much worse but other things are giving her motivation and inspiration to live and have a future. I know we can’t control that a group of poorly adolescents will probably rub off on each other and teach each other the ‘tricks of the trade’ so to speak, but with the positive impact of finding joy in simple activities and learning to communicate better, I have to take the rough with the smooth.
I dream of a better life for her, I also dream that I won’t spend every day of my life expecting her to die. I am hopeful xx

Ella you are wonderful. I’m proud of you- look what you’ve achieved! xx Thank you ❤️
 
veevee04 said:
It's been a few weeks turds. I've had health issues, I was on holiday developed food poisoning then a flare of inflammatory arthritis which has spread to multiple joints this is the third time. I'm being tested for autoimmune arthritis disease I'm early 30s I'm struggling to even type on my phone it feels too heavy still I'm determined I will get back to work and not be bed bound.
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Oh hun, you've been through it! It's horrible isn't it, because not being able to go about your daily life and being stuck in bed, can trigger depression.

Years ago I had food poisoning, I was about 32 I think, anyway it went on for over a week, I was admitted to hospital and found put I had Ulcerative Colitis, and the food poisoning triggered it, how, I have no idea.
I have quite a few autoimmune diseases (lucky me!) Arthritis being on of them, I delvoped in my knees at 35 (found out via a knee operation) then at 38 found out I had it in my back and hips (via a back operation) the pain wasn't too bad, but the last 3 three years it's been really bad and i have it probably 70% of my bones now, add in longstanding back issues, and in the fact that Colitis makes your joints swell, doesnt make for a good combo. I'm on methotrexate for the Arthritis and Enthesopathy, and it does work and really well too (although ive had to stop it for now, as I might need my gallbladder removed). I'd definitely look into it, it doesn't come without some risks and side effects, they go after a month or so.
I totally understand how horrible and painful it is, and to be hit with it at a young age 😔.
Please do ask about Methotrexate, there are a lot of other options if that one isn't right for you. Autoimmune diseases are bleeping shite, but there are many options that will help with the pain/symptoms. Wish you the best of luck in finding a treatment that's right for you 🤗🩷
 
Hi everyone! @CookieMonsta , I want to address your thoughts about the girls in your past post. I agreed with you, and I heard how passionate you were about the abuse of the girls. I did stupid things in my teenage years that luckily enough were not held against me for the rest of my life. My daughter had a lot of difficulties and acted like Ella in my house, towards me. I didn't post all over SM, either. Working out why these kids have these explosions is key, not just treating them like they are criminals for the rest of their lives. I absolutely was a cause of my daughter's behaviour. It's not easy living with a drunk. It doesn't excuse her actions, but neither does it make her wholly responsible. We've worked through so much and she is a superstar. I would hate it if this was thrown in her face everyday. Honestly, I can see where it might have broken her.
Ella is living with a monster. She also is going through puberty. She's isolated. She did do something stupid but we know who was behind it. I think she should only have the consequence of supervised visits with her father ( Elsie, too) and that we should not bring it up as if she is a delinquent. Maybe I'm reading into it too much, but it stings a little when people seem to attack her. Or maybe I'm too sensitive because of my kid. Who knows?
Anyways, I know you apologized, but I don't think you had to. I appreciated what you were saying, and you have my support. I always look forward to your posts. You are one of the funniest people on the thread.❤️
 
Holy fuckeroo I'm in a bit of shock. My narc mother, who I only actually realised is a covert narc at the beginning of this year, has just gone to the next door neighbours to try and get them to call the police to do a suicide check on me - all because I've been locked in my bedroom for the last few hours ignoring her because I don't want to deal with her daily barrage of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse. She's spent the last 2 hours trying to break into my room using every key she can find to test the lock - she worked out how to jimmy the last lock I had on my door within a week. She did the same thing on Saturday night for THREE bleeping HOURS and only stopped because I had to leave my room to go to the toilet, let my cat out to go to his toilet and get a second serving of dinner for him. She did the same thing on Friday night for an hour after repeating a lie she tells me multiple times everyday, deciding I was shocked about it and then banging on my door for an hour and trying to unlock it while telling me "you're shocked and you need to talk to me..."

But to actually go to the neighbours and try to get them to call the police on me?? Thankfully they know she has memory problems, is a narc and has become very emotionally and verbally abusive since I started backing away from her and her coercive control, so they told her to duck off and leave me alone. But I'm worried now. I didn't expect her to actually go this far. What if she does manage to get the police out here? What if they believe her BS and section me?? Who would look after my cat then? Not to mention my own bleeping depression and anxiety which has skyrocketed over the last few months because of her. If it wasn't for my cat I'd almost be happy to be sectioned just to get away from her.

Thank God she doesn't have a phone. She would always get me to buy her one and then refuse to learn how to use it, saying she was uncomfortable with new tech. Looking back I think it was just another way to make me responsible for looking after her. Thank God we live in a rental because the way she's bashing at my door I'm worried she's going to do an Alice and take the door off it's hinges!

Sorry for unloading. I guess I just needed to vent.
 
I'm so sorry your having to cope with this cookie, do you have any headphones that you can use to block out the incessant noise from her? I really don't think she can have you sectioned as it takes two doctors to agree to something like that as far as I know.
You say she has memory problems I wonder if she is suffering from some form of dementia, it sounds similar to a friend's mother who behaved a lot similar.
Hope you can find some peace very soon ❤️
 
Ally Pally said:
I'm so sorry your having to cope with this cookie, do you have any headphones that you can use to block out the incessant noise from her? I really don't think she can have you sectioned as it takes two doctors to agree to something like that as far as I know.
You say she has memory problems I wonder if she is suffering from some form of dementia, it sounds similar to a friend's mother who behaved a lot similar.
Hope you can find some peace very soon ❤
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Thank you Ally. I'm watching the cycling Giro D'Italia on my laptop with headphones. Thankfully my fur baby is snuggled up on the bed next to me sleeping contentedly and not anxious over her banging and yelling.

She was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Decline about 2 1/2 years ago which isn't Dementia but could become Dementia over time. She's due for another MRI this month. She's definitely having issues with her short-term memory, but this is deliberate and she's slipped up a few times recently and said things that make it clear she knows what she's doing when she tries to force me to open my door and interact with her. She does the same thing when I use the bathroom to shower or go to the loo and lock the door. She's had her bedroom door closed to me my entire life, when my father was abusing me, when my brother abused me, when I was having nightmares, but she goes ballistic when I shut my door. I guess it just shocked me a bit that she's willing to go this far just to get her own way.

I've contacted a good friend and she knows what's going on. Thankfully mum seems to have given up for now, after another 3 hours.
 
It's silly given what's been going on, though things have quietened down now, but it keeps bugging me. It's not the Giro but the Tour de France I'm watching. I swear all this stress is turning my brain inside out. In my defence the race started and is still in Italy this year.
 
@CookieMonsta , I'm sorry your mom is behaving this way. That must be terrifying. I'm at a loss for words. I would say move out ASAP, but it's not always easy with the cost of rent nowadays. I just hope you can stay safe and snuggle with your cat as much as you can. We are always here if you need to vent ❤️
Also, I think Ally is right about sectioning a person. It's pretty difficult unless you threaten to harm yourself or others.
If it gets too crazy, I hope you have some good friends to stay with until things (your mom) settle down.
 
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