Support for anyone that needs to vent #4

1
jojida said:
This is a bit of a petty rant from me and I'm so aware that it's ridiculous, but...

I have changed my office in work from a downstairs office to an upstairs office in the same building. There are toilets on both floors and, as there hadn't been any women on the top floor until I started up there, the guys (3 young men aged between 23 and 28, all definitely identifying as men) had designated the ladies loo as their 'number 2' toilet as it is double doored. This was fine when no women were up there but now I, a woman, would like my own toilet on the floor I work on. I have IBS and so sometimes I'm literally not able to go downstairs to use the bathroom there as it's a matter of urgency...

However, they think I'm being unreasonable and want to keep using both of the upstairs toilets. It's getting so frustrating as they leave it in a STATE - I'm talking eye watering - and they can't seem to grasp that I want my own toilet. I'm at my wits end as I just want to be able to use a bathroom of my own ffs
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Not a petty complaint. Straight up infuriating. Make a complaint and get a key to lock it
 
Honestly why are people so rude? 😢 I’m going through a break up right now, and I messaged a friend last week to see if she fancied meeting for a coffee/drink tonight. She messaged back saying yes but said she’d need to be home by 8, which I said was fine, and if easier I could just come to hers. She didn’t reply to that. This morning I messaged just to check we were still on and she said yeah, should be but she’d let me know later. I said that’s okay, just let me know either way. It’s now 18:45 and she hasn’t messaged. It’s upset me as these little events and getting out the house are all that’s getting me through right now; and the lack of reply is just horrible.
 
Bubbledoggyyeah said:
Honestly why are people so rude? 😢 I’m going through a break up right now, and I messaged a friend last week to see if she fancied meeting for a coffee/drink tonight. She messaged back saying yes but said she’d need to be home by 8, which I said was fine, and if easier I could just come to hers. She didn’t reply to that. This morning I messaged just to check we were still on and she said yeah, should be but she’d let me know later. I said that’s okay, just let me know either way. It’s now 18:45 and she hasn’t messaged. It’s upset me as these little events and getting out the house are all that’s getting me through right now; and the lack of reply is just horrible.
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Wow not even a txt? 😯 sorry 😕

My vent is I cant even vent for LITERAL legal reasons about what I want to vent about! And its absolutely ridiculous! The most petty of petty things in the world and now I am in a position of utter hell where I can't talk to anyone and all the "adults" are playing dress up to act as if its all very serious and must be dealt with appropriately. And this is my actual life. The impact will be on me. Im already absolutely depressed and would absolutely (but i wont dont worry...) love to do something right infront of them to traumatise them and duck them up the same way i am!
 
I’m feeling a little stressed out and over whelmed. My little boy burnt his hand on my hair curler on Friday. I still feel awful about it!! I took him to the hospital straight away they were fab with us. But changing his dressing and bandage is really over whelming me. He gets really upset and cries a lot and it’s really hard for me to put the dressing on when he’s so upset and I’m worried I haven’t done it right or used the right stuff 😭 it bled a little when I changed it before. Google said it’s normal but it’s still freaking me out a little 🥴 I got non adhesive pads but I am still worried it’s not right or it’s not healing 😭
I am a terrible adult I know.

thankfully he has an appointment tomorrow to go back for a checkup but I am feeling very crappy and upset about it. The guilt isn’t going away 😟
 
Hi all, have posted on these threads before and you were all really lovely and helpful.

Not sure if there is a specific thread for work drama but this seems the most active thread for venting. I’ll try to keep it short so in summary I started a new job at the end of last year and it has been hell.

I am the most junior member of a small team and my main problem is that no one works with me. My work is dependent on being given things to do by the rest of the team due to the nature of my role (I can’t be autonomous). I feel like tit because I’m not learning or growing at all because I’ve been sidelined to admin only despite this not being what was promised. It wasn’t this bad when I first started but in March, a new guy of similar seniority to me was seconded to our team and everyone pounced on him in lieu of me ever since then I haven’t gotten a look in. I even got taken off something I was working on so he could have it as it would be “good experience for him”.

It’s been brewing for a while but I have reached breaking point. I’ve never been in this position before why I’ve been iced out by an entire team and left to twiddle my thumbs. This one woman treats me like her PA and only ever asks me to do things that are borderline insulting. I wouldn’t even mind if she worked with me otherwise but she doesn’t.

Recently it’s become apparent to me just how bad it is because the other guy I mentioned will be completely slammed but people still will not come to me for work, and I’ve been left with very little to do. I raised it with our team leader but she didn’t have much sympathy (she’s guilty of this too and tbh is pretty much the person telling everyone to work with this other guy). She was just like, it’s a time of change for our team (which it is as we just acquired another company and our team is expanding) and she just said to make sure I let the new team leader know I’m ready and willing to go - but it doesn’t really fix the original issue that everyone on our original team seems to have an issue with me. I feel like everyone knows something I don’t. My line manager who isn’t in my team and I was able to open up to him about the situation as he’s not directly involved. He was very kind and just advised me to speak to our team leader, which I did.

There is one person in our team who does work with me but she is legit the only one. It’s almost embarrassing because I can tell she feels sorry for me. I plan on also telling her; I tried to over teams on Friday but she wasn’t really getting it. Is it ok to outright ask her if she knows what the deal is with the rest of the team? Because there’s no way she doesn’t see it too.
My main gripe is my career as I feel so stuck and like I can’t progress here. However, socially things are really bad too and I feel like an outsider. I’m often left off of invites/emails and find out information from people not even in my team. For example, there have been two social events where I was accidentally left off the invite and only found out something was happening when someone else innocently brought it up and I had no idea what they were talking about. Everyone in the team gets a birthday card and mine was missed.

There have been a couple of instances at drinks when I’ve expressed dissatisfaction to a couple people (just saying I don’t feel like I’m learning a lot or doing a lot) and I feel like they’ve gone to the team and bitched about me or something. It’s not a safe space let’s put it that way.

To make it worse, the guy who had my job before me, they all really loved him and go on and on about him. Kind of like when you go on a date with someone and they talk about their ex?

I feel like when I leave the room people talk about me. There have been a couple times I’ve done something different with my hair and no one will say anything but they will say it to each other, for example. For my part I will admit I am extremely shy and am not in the office as much as everyone else (initially because my commute with 3.5 hours) but now I have moved but now my mental health is really bad and some days I physically cannot bring myself to get out of bed and come in. I know it’s a bad look but I have depression and it’s really gotten worse recently. My heart is so heavy all the time and the days I go into the office, I just come home and cry. I am really struggling at the moment so would appreciate any thoughts. Apologies if this doesn’t make sense. There are so many nuances I could add but this post would be far too long.

There were a couple of instances when I first joined of really odd playground/mean girl behaviour which was hurtful caused me to completely retreat into myself. So from early on I was not very forthcoming or friendly - just very reserved and quiet. So I get why if I raised something formally the retort might be well you never engage with us and you never come in.

Ultimately my paranoia makes me think I am being iced out on purpose in hopes I will leave. That’s genuinely how it feels.
 
This
doodlebug said:
Hi all, have posted on these threads before and you were all really lovely and helpful.

Not sure if there is a specific thread for work drama but this seems the most active thread for venting. I’ll try to keep it short so in summary I started a new job at the end of last year and it has been hell.

I am the most junior member of a small team and my main problem is that no one works with me. My work is dependent on being given things to do by the rest of the team due to the nature of my role (I can’t be autonomous). I feel like tit because I’m not learning or growing at all because I’ve been sidelined to admin only despite this not being what was promised. It wasn’t this bad when I first started but in March, a new guy of similar seniority to me was seconded to our team and everyone pounced on him in lieu of me ever since then I haven’t gotten a look in. I even got taken off something I was working on so he could have it as it would be “good experience for him”.

It’s been brewing for a while but I have reached breaking point. I’ve never been in this position before why I’ve been iced out by an entire team and left to twiddle my thumbs. This one woman treats me like her PA and only ever asks me to do things that are borderline insulting. I wouldn’t even mind if she worked with me otherwise but she doesn’t.

Recently it’s become apparent to me just how bad it is because the other guy I mentioned will be completely slammed but people still will not come to me for work, and I’ve been left with very little to do. I raised it with our team leader but she didn’t have much sympathy (she’s guilty of this too and tbh is pretty much the person telling everyone to work with this other guy). She was just like, it’s a time of change for our team (which it is as we just acquired another company and our team is expanding) and she just said to make sure I let the new team leader know I’m ready and willing to go - but it doesn’t really fix the original issue that everyone on our original team seems to have an issue with me. I feel like everyone knows something I don’t. My line manager who isn’t in my team and I was able to open up to him about the situation as he’s not directly involved. He was very kind and just advised me to speak to our team leader, which I did.

There is one person in our team who does work with me but she is legit the only one. It’s almost embarrassing because I can tell she feels sorry for me. I plan on also telling her; I tried to over teams on Friday but she wasn’t really getting it. Is it ok to outright ask her if she knows what the deal is with the rest of the team? Because there’s no way she doesn’t see it too.
My main gripe is my career as I feel so stuck and like I can’t progress here. However, socially things are really bad too and I feel like an outsider. I’m often left off of invites/emails and find out information from people not even in my team. For example, there have been two social events where I was accidentally left off the invite and only found out something was happening when someone else innocently brought it up and I had no idea what they were talking about. Everyone in the team gets a birthday card and mine was missed.

There have been a couple of instances at drinks when I’ve expressed dissatisfaction to a couple people (just saying I don’t feel like I’m learning a lot or doing a lot) and I feel like they’ve gone to the team and bitched about me or something. It’s not a safe space let’s put it that way.

To make it worse, the guy who had my job before me, they all really loved him and go on and on about him. Kind of like when you go on a date with someone and they talk about their ex?

I feel like when I leave the room people talk about me. There have been a couple times I’ve done something different with my hair and no one will say anything but they will say it to each other, for example. For my part I will admit I am extremely shy and am not in the office as much as everyone else (initially because my commute with 3.5 hours) but now I have moved but now my mental health is really bad and some days I physically cannot bring myself to get out of bed and come in. I know it’s a bad look but I have depression and it’s really gotten worse recently. My heart is so heavy all the time and the days I go into the office, I just come home and cry. I am really struggling at the moment so would appreciate any thoughts. Apologies if this doesn’t make sense. There are so many nuances I could add but this post would be far too long.

There were a couple of instances when I first joined of really odd playground/mean girl behaviour which was hurtful caused me to completely retreat into myself. So from early on I was not very forthcoming or friendly - just very reserved and quiet. So I get why if I raised something formally the retort might be well you never engage with us and you never come in.

Ultimately my paranoia makes me think I am being iced out on purpose in hopes I will leave. That’s genuinely how it feels.
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This sort of behaviour completely grinds my gears! I haven't been victim of it personally but have witnessed it in my job many, many times. Every single time I've witnessed it, I've called it out. There and then. If you worked with me lovely, I'd eat those hyenas up and spit them out. There is no place for bullying, in any setting.
I advise taking this up with HR however if you don't feel like that's an option then get yourself some work environment legal advice. No one on Earth has the right to make anyone feel so helpless and unwanted. This situation has to stop sweetheart.
Don't delay. You are worth more than this. This is how you feed and clothe and heat yourself and family if you have any dependents. They're trying to prevent you from doing that with dignity.
A fine example of evil this insidious conduct.
Sending my love to you ⭐
 
Greenandgold said:
This

This sort of behaviour completely grinds my gears! I haven't been victim of it personally but have witnessed it in my job many, many times. Every single time I've witnessed it, I've called it out. There and then. If you worked with me lovely, I'd eat those hyenas up and spit them out. There is no place for bullying, in any setting.
I advise taking this up with HR however if you don't feel like that's an option then get yourself some work environment legal advice. No one on Earth has the right to make anyone feel so helpless and unwanted. This situation has to stop sweetheart.
Don't delay. You are worth more than this. This is how you feed and clothe and heat yourself and family if you have any dependents. They're trying to prevent you from doing that with dignity.
A fine example of evil this insidious conduct.
Sending my love to you ⭐
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Thanks so much for your kind words! It’s something I’ve sat on for months and never really knew how to articulate but I feel ready to do something about it now, so thank you for the encouragement 💜💜
 
Kim Mild said:
Feeling quite down and angry. Often can pinpoint this to hormone but not this time. I now wonder if I'm actually just being treated unfairly.
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Could it be the weather? I find that the recent constant rain and grey skies have made me moody and miserable
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Kim Mild said:
Feeling quite down and angry. Often can pinpoint this to hormone but not this time. I now wonder if I'm actually just being treated unfairly.
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Could it be the weather? I find that the recent constant rain and grey skies have made me moody and miserable
 
OnlyHereForTheLolz said:
Could it be the weather? I find that the recent constant rain and grey skies have made me moody and miserable
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Could it be the weather? I find that the recent constant rain and grey skies have made me moody and miserable
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It's been gorgeous sunshine here this weekend for a change. I've noticed people don't always treat me the way they want to be treated themselves so maybe my feelings are justified
 
Some idiot at work with a chip on her shoulder.

She knows about my dad passing a year and a half ago. Yesterday, I learned my sister got very sick and was admitted to the hospital, so I was visibly a bit stressed.

This person comes up to me and said ‘you like stressed yesterday, is everything OK?’. I just said it’s just some family stuff and some deadline, no biggie. Then her response was ‘family stuff is still happening?’.

What kind of an answer is that? I never speak about my family or my personal life. I mentioned my dad’s passing a long time ago once then never again. Life is not rainbows and flowers for everyone. What an ignorant comment.
 
TheGlossy said:
Some idiot at work with a chip on her shoulder.

She knows about my dad passing a year and a half ago. Yesterday, I learned my sister got very sick and was admitted to the hospital, so I was visibly a bit stressed.

This person comes up to me and said ‘you like stressed yesterday, is everything OK?’. I just said it’s just some family stuff and some deadline, no biggie. Then her response was ‘family stuff is still happening?’.

What kind of an answer is that? I never speak about my family or my personal life. I mentioned my dad’s passing a long time ago once then never again. Life is not rainbows and flowers for everyone. What an ignorant comment.
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Even if there was nothing else you CAN still grieve about your dad. What an absolutely ignorant, insensitive comment.

People need to think about their words, STILL, and JUST, and words like this which twist a sentence. If she just said family stuff happening? It hits soooooo differently. Adding that word adds judgement and no one has the right to judge people's reactions to stress, grief, difficulties in life.

Your reaction is who you are, its the childhood traumas youve lived through, the baggage you carry from broken promises, heartbreaks, illnesses and loss. It absolutely infuriates me... sorry i feel like im derailing to get out of my pram about it but people have done the same to me in the past and its just bullshit!

Anyway, i hope you are feeling ok despite ALL the family things. Whatever you're feeling is valid.
 
flutternutter said:
Even if there was nothing else you CAN still grieve about your dad. What an absolutely ignorant, insensitive comment.

People need to think about their words, STILL, and JUST, and words like this which twist a sentence. If she just said family stuff happening? It hits soooooo differently. Adding that word adds judgement and no one has the right to judge people's reactions to stress, grief, difficulties in life.

Your reaction is who you are, its the childhood traumas youve lived through, the baggage you carry from broken promises, heartbreaks, illnesses and loss. It absolutely infuriates me... sorry i feel like im derailing to get out of my pram about it but people have done the same to me in the past and its just bullshit!

Anyway, i hope you are feeling ok despite ALL the family things. Whatever you're feeling is valid.
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It’s weird I thought about this yesterday. About what people say and how others receive it.
I came to the conclusions both can be in the right or in the wrong. Because like you said we are the product of our environments and experiences. Factor in the fact when you are emotional etc and a simple comment can really cause damage
 
Why is every hobby these days just another extension of work? Like, let me be crappy at knitting in peace, I don't want nor need a side hustle and I'm not striving for perfection here - all I want is to have fun!

bleeping commodification, everything's for profit these days and I'm bleeping sick of it.
 
tomato_paste said:
Why is every hobby these days just another extension of work? Like, let me be crappy at knitting in peace, I don't want nor need a side hustle and I'm not striving for perfection here - all I want is to have fun!

bleeping commodification, everything's for profit these days and I'm bleeping sick of it.
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Excuse me while I go hide in the corner

whispers *I love money and will sell any old tit for money* :oops:
 
I've been offered a new job. It's progression within the area I already work for a new company. They interviewed me. They offered me the job. And yet, I am worried sick I am going to be tit.
I'm a recovering people pleaser with 0 confidence in my own ability. The only reason I've been offered this and other similar roles is because I can wax lyrical about the work I do because I love it. As soon as it comes to bigging myself up independently I am tongue tied and useless.
So now I am worrying about making a good impression. Remembering people's names and what they do. And trying not to come across like i dont know what im doing 😭
 
flutternutter said:
I've been offered a new job. It's progression within the area I already work for a new company. They interviewed me. They offered me the job. And yet, I am worried sick I am going to be tit.
I'm a recovering people pleaser with 0 confidence in my own ability. The only reason I've been offered this and other similar roles is because I can wax lyrical about the work I do because I love it. As soon as it comes to bigging myself up independently I am tongue tied and useless.
So now I am worrying about making a good impression. Remembering people's names and what they do. And trying not to come across like i dont know what im doing 😭
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Congratulations!! You got offered the job because they clearly saw something on you, so you should believe in yourself! You would’ve had to beat out several others to get the role, so remember that. I’m sure you’ll be great! I’m sure the love for what you do will translate into doing a good job.
 
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