Niomi Smart #85 Looks like she manifested a lot of sh..

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curiouscat106

curiouscat106

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There’s a new YT video up and so much to unpack, I thought a new thread was required as a matter of urgency 😆

New thread title courtesy of @Lionsden and @Mrs.Scamander ♥ (I hope it’s within the guidelines!)

The last thread was a loooong ride, but some of the more notable happenings included:
  • A dog licked kissed her eyeball so she had to get rabies shots and used the experience as an opportunity to show off her butt
  • There was a full moon so she took the opportunity to get her tits out
  • She learned to ride a scooter, nearly ran out of petrol and then decided to frame it as a test from the universe that would enable her to grow
  • She enforced a no-Donkey policy but still finds a way to post unnecessary, over-sexualised content
  • SHE SENT DMS TO FOLLOWERS CALLING THEM OUT AS TROLLS BUT WAS QUICKLY PUT IN HER PLACE BY ARTICULATE AND VALID RESPONSES SO SHE SHUT DOWN THE CONVERSATIONS SHE VOLUNTARILY INITIATED
  • The aforementioned DMs came across as a life coaching exercise, with pre-fabricated texts quite possibly written by Lordon
  • She tried shilling some hella expensive perfume oil from a local Bali business founded by a rich, white, French woman
  • @mg95 injected some much needed laughs, declaring a fork had been found in the kitchen!! Aka Bradley Simmons had been spotted on Raya
  • She posted more inspirational quotes than ever before
  • NESPRESSOGATE HAPPENED - there was the mother of all backlashes and comments had to be disabled
  • She returned to TikTok to talk about paths and timelines
  • Again, this seemed to be more for her benefit than anyone else’s, to reassure herself that she’s fine with the fact that she’s not where she wants/expected to be in life at her age
  • She went to Bangkok and nobody told her the Buddha was covered by scaffolding, but it’s fine because she knows how to go with the flow
  • SHE TAUGHT HER FIRST YOGA CLASS AND IT WAS A SUCCESS 👏🏻
  • She got the flu/covid
  • She went to a wellness and good sleep retreat and then uploaded a vlog to YT, where, quite frankly, she comes across as more fragile, unwell and unstable than ever
The comedic element of this thread is at an all time low, and despite what a crappy, crappy person she is, The Shadows seem to be the only ones extending empathy towards her now, her Bright Tribe appear to have disbanded.

The dumpster fire is raging, let’s see what the next new chapter holds in store…
 
Thank you for the new thread, @curiouscat106 🩶
Can we talk about her lecture to us mere mortals because she watched perhaps two independent films in her life!!!!!!! She is SO cultured! She loves to talk about art. 🥹 Art is that, guys. What makes art incredible is the discussions we have about it with other people and we KNOW she loves talking to people. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
Irony over. 😂 I have many things to talk about this video but somehow this stuck with me. She’s so insufferable. More and more each day.
 
I stuck the video on while I was painting a wall. Most of this is paraphrased, I can’t go back and check because my god

She said that she reckons hollywood films are all about money and are cookie cutter, and indie films are where the art is. She thinks this is a controversial opinion.

She had this conversation with an old man, so then took the opportunity to preach that we can learn a lot from strangers and people from different walks of life. Again, coming across as someone that doesn’t go outside much. Her world must be very very small.

Also some drivel about music, and how we need to be careful what we listen to because mainstream music can have negative energy. She would hate my emo metal playlists.

She has low bone density, muscle mass, and low weight. I’m trying not to think about how she’s probably pleased with that result.

She took this to mean she should go to the gym, change her workouts and increase protein. Niomi, just eat more. Just eat. She is so on track for osteoporosis it’s not even funny but I think we could have predicted this years ago when she thought a triangle of brown bread was cheeky. Turns out starving yourself for years has repercussions and here they come.
 
What happened to her YT editor?

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earlgrey said:
I stuck the video on while I was painting a wall. Most of this is paraphrased, I can’t go back and check because my god

She said that she reckons hollywood films are all about money and are cookie cutter, and indie films are where the art is. She thinks this is a controversial opinion.

She had this conversation with an old man, so then took the opportunity to preach that we can learn a lot from strangers and people from different walks of life. Again, coming across as someone that doesn’t go outside much. Her world must be very very small.

Also some drivel about music, and how we need to be careful what we listen to because mainstream music can have negative energy. She would hate my emo metal playlists.

She has low bone density, muscle mass, and low weight. I’m trying not to think about how she’s probably pleased with that result.

She took this to mean she should go to the gym, change her workouts and increase protein. Niomi, just eat more. Just eat. She is so on track for osteoporosis it’s not even funny but I think we could have predicted this years ago when she thought a triangle of brown bread was cheeky. Turns out starving yourself for years has repercussions and here they come.
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Thanks for the precis - I really can't be arsed to do it myself 😂
She's an idiot. Honestly she's 'youngish' now but time comes racing in and she's looking at the latter portion of her life being a bleeping misery. And that's not even factoring in the tapeworm (Lordon. I always imagine tapeworms gave big teeth). She's probably as unhealthy as someone who has drank Guinness every day and smoked 20 Benson and Hedges. Slight exaggeration but ykwim.
Her mother is very striking and looks healthy. Niomi is going to be shrivelled and frail before she even gets anywhere near her Mum's age.
But at the moment she won't care because she is THIN. And that is what matters.
 
Her health is also extremely telling about her relationship. Most women I know put on a healthy “relationship weight” when they’re with partners who really love on them and treat them well. Im not saying people must gain weight when they’re in a healthy relationship, just that most people I know glow and look very healthy/fulfilled. Part of that is having someone who can help reduce your stress, while im sure Jamie’s lifestyle is increasing her stress/anxiety. My partner makes sure that I eat even when I’ve had a long day or don’t have much of an appetite because of stress. I can’t imagine Jamie doing anything like that for her because I mean, just look at the state of her.
 
okay can someone clear this up for me -- she said her favorite movie is La Grande Bellezza, which she said she thinks "was made in the 70s", but the only one I'm finding was made in 2013. So am I looking at the wrong movie, or did she really confuse a 2013 movie for something from the 70s 😭 And if it was indeed her "favorite movie", how did she do absolutely zero research about it to know it's a fairly recent film...

Also, it's quite telling that she feels the need to take a vacation from her vacation. It seems like running away from herself is getting more and more difficult
 
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formerly_sitkx said:
okay can someone clear this up for me -- she said her favorite movie is La Grande Bellezza, which she said she thinks "was made in the 70s", but the only one I'm finding was made in 2013. So am I looking at the wrong movie, or did she really confuse a 2013 movie for something from the 70s 😭 And if it was indeed her "favorite movie", how did she do absolutely zero research about it to know it's a fairly recent film...

Also, it's quite telling that she feels the need to take a vacation from her vacation. It seems like running away from herself is getting more and more difficult
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God, her life is a tit fest even in its minor details.
 
Piecing my way through the video in increments the bit where she’s talking about her health… she says al she does is yoga and that she doesn’t work out anywhere near as much as she did in her 20s… But doesn’t she run 10k twice a week with a running club in Bali? I’m sure she posts 5am club videos to her stories every Wednesday and Saturday 🤔

And further proof that she reads here on the regular - we were snarking how she can’t just do normal things like watch a series on Netflix… low and behold she tells us she has a Netflix account and loves binging a series 🙄

Are we sure she really had this conversation with an older gentleman or did she just watch The Holiday and recount the scene where Kate Winslet has dinner with her elderly neighbour who use to work in the Hollywood film industry?!
 
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She has completely lost herself in looking inwards. All her thoughts revolve around herself and so she will never come to a new realization but will continue to think forever about who she really is.
Just the fact that she still talks about how different everything is since she turned 30 🙄 Get over it
 
Controversial opinion but she never should have split up with Forky. I still think they were a really good match for each other, and chauvinistic as he was at least he had family values, his own business and seemed genuinely smitten with her. They could’ve collabed on health/fitness retreats, him with his get it done and her with yoga. He’s does destinations such as Bali and Dubai, places we know she loves. They could’ve had a London apartment and a place in the country/cotswolds. Spend their weekends at Soho Famehouse. I still don’t understand what happened there. It was like one day he got the shits and then she never saw him again…
 
curiouscat106 said:
Controversial opinion but she never should have split up with Forky. I still think they were a really good match for each other, and chauvinistic as he was at least he had family values, his own business and seemed genuinely smitten with her. They could’ve collabed on health/fitness retreats, him with his get it done and her with yoga. He’s does destinations such as Bali and Dubai, places we know she loves. They could’ve had a London apartment and a place in the country/cotswolds. Spend their weekends at Soho Famehouse. I still don’t understand what happened there. It was like one day he got the shits and then she never saw him again…
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I agree.

I think she didn’t see him as posh enough for her. Jamie is a weirdo through and through but he has the Irish old money vibes (whether he IS old money or not, who knows). I think she thought Forky was beneath her, class-wise.
 
StillLucilleBluth said:
I agree.

I think she didn’t see him as posh enough for her. Jamie is a weirdo through and through but he has the Irish old money vibes (whether he IS old money or not, who knows). I think she thought Forky was beneath her, class-wise.
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I agree. Forky is a chav and Niomi would NEVER seriously date a chav. Despite the fact she's new money herself, she 100% saw Forky as beneath her.

Also, I know this has been commented on 1000 times but I just rewatched the "asking my best friend to be bridesmaid" video and I can not get over just how lazy Niomi is. Joe single handedly moved them into their flat while she flounced off to the park then came home and TOOK A NAP!! I'm cackling!! No wonder he dumped her lazy ass.
 
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