Mumsnet #40 I sit on my throne of potatoes and I laugh

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I take care to wax and bleach my hole and then attach myself like an anemone for zero slippage. Also have my 10m swimming badge so quietly confident.

Wouldnt a smooth, bleached bumhole have a distinct lack of grip? Surely a bumhole which has been left au naturale ( comme les françaises ) would give you a bit more purchase?
I’m overthinking this aren’t I?
 
This poor woman, I feel so sorry for her I just don't know how she copes. She is soo teeny tiny that she can't use her bath properly:cry:

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I was going to say “what are showers you absolute melt” but then I realised she might actually be washed down the plug hole being so teeny tiny.
I wonder how literal children manage to wash but she can’t 😂
 
They really are so narrow-minded. AI doesn’t have to be the same food, in the same place, lining up for loungers, endless buffets. There are some really good AI places. We went to Unico 20 87 a few years ago. It’s adults-only, a la carte Restaurants, no buffets, more than enough loungers, several different restaurants, and they also had an arrangement where you could swap a meal there for a local restaurant if you wanted to go someplace different. They also say they don’t like cruises “for the same reasons”. Again, it doesn’t have to be like that. We like Viking Cruises. No buffets, no children, no gimmicks, no congas round the pool, more loungers than people so there will always be one if you really want one,

They think they are so sophisticated with their SC choices and slipping on a Breton top and a pair of espadrilles to go to the local marché to buy fresh fruits and a selection of cheeses. When in reality SC often means finding things closed Wednesdays or for long extended lunch breaks, places that don’t accept foreign cards, not being able to understand what you’re purchasing, winding up paying more than you should have done for something because you didn’t understand something, finding the only place in town is a little Spar or similar that is very expensive and doesn’t even have what you want. We once went SC and bought a fresh pizza. Got back to the apartment and opened the oven to find it had no shelves. I also and find SC places to be uncomfortable as they are not designed for people to spend a lot of time in them - they assume you will be out a lot. So it’s cheap ikea furniture and random odd towels.wonderful.
My recent All Inclusive was 100% fabulous. Food was varied and delicious, sunbeds available whenever you fancied a doze in the sun/shade, there was help yourself beer, wine, sangria and cocktails (unfortunately I had to sample all the different soft drinks on offer - if I wasn't upduffed, I'd have been having sex on the beach for breakfast), the staff were helpful and friendly and we had an absolutely brilliant time. I'd choose that holiday again in a heartbeat, over a self-catering villa with arguments over whose turn it is to cook, and having to buy toilet roll and washing up liquid. Pass me my AI wristband and set me free!
 
I was going to say “what are showers you absolute melt” but then I realised she might actually be washed down the plug hole being so teeny tiny.
I wonder how literal children manage to wash but she can’t 😂
Yeah, these people with their 'teeny tiny person' problems don't think it through... she's bigger than both my kids and neither of them float on the surface of the bath, or have to be weighted down with an anchor! If you're making tit up for an internet medal for being so thin at least think about it properly. This problem does not exist.
 
I'm not sure Richi? Sunak actually sits and reads mumsnet does he?
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Wouldnt a smooth, bleached bumhole have a distinct lack of grip? Surely a bumhole which has been left au naturale ( comme les françaises ) would give you a bit more purchase?
I’m overthinking this aren’t I?
I was thinking that.

Presumably @50degreesnorth also sandpapers her anal orifice to give it a bit of traction.
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I use a thimble to have my bath, but it’s still quite treacherous
Keep a polo mint handy to use as a lifebelt at all times.
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It needs to be completely smooth to ensure the vacuum seal isn’t broken.
Aaaaah!

<enlightened>
 
I'm not sure Richi? Sunak actually sits and reads mumsnet does he?
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I mean, looking at the way it's going for him I'd not be surprised if he's sitting at home, with the curtains drawn, mainlining Coca Cola, face down in bargain trifle, scrolling through mumsnet. The bloke's definitely in dejected FML self-sabotage territory.
 
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