Mother Pukka #6 With mastitis addled extremities

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
1
PoorPatrol said:
I was in bits after having kids, but can definitely understand that some people feel good quite quickly. That’s such a good thing, and obvs I wish it for everyone

What I can’t get on board with, though, is someone with as big a platform as Anna - who is intelligent enough to know the damage social media can do - would put all of this ‘aspirational’ new mum about own tit online.

I also can’t stand how much exposure that baby has had already. As I’ve said before, I am a stabby working class person, so maybe I just can’t relate? But ‘we’ don’t let our babies be cold, and we don’t drag them about all over the place on buses/tubes and tit unless absolutely necessary. The kids filthy nails holding the #preemie gave the heebie jeebies!! FYI my kids have been kept clean and away from unnecessary germs since birth and they genuinely are rarely unwell. It’s not like exposing them to filth as a tiny newborn helps their immune system or anything.

And another thing!! One really good reason not to be going here there and everywhere with a newborn is that you need time to sync up and learn their cues and ways. If you stay quietly with them as much as possible, you very quickly settle into a natural routine and know when they’re getting enough milk etc etc and this is so much more difficult when you’re trying to be a social butterfly at the same time.

She’s seemingly got a big, expensive house and a tit tonne of child free time and childcare, do some quiet things like have friends over, or walk to your nearest local coffee shop. The traipsing is just bonkers busy work, and means you’re exposing your #preemie to constant battles against rogue germs, fumes, too long in a car seat/pram, and their delicate skin is either too long in a soiled nappy or you have to change them in a grotty bathroom. Just no. All that just to make other mums feel tit about themselves for being in their dressing gowns. Like fair enough have a shower and move around, but this ‘I can do it all’ showing off thing is wrong for about 100 reasons!
Click to expand...
It’s almost as if the preemie is not a preemie… or she’s just a bit slack in her duty of care for their health if they were born six weeks early.*
*Could be 4 or 5 weeks early depending on which story of Anna’s you stumbled upon.
 
PoorPatrol said:
I was in bits after having kids, but can definitely understand that some people feel good quite quickly. That’s such a good thing, and obvs I wish it for everyone

What I can’t get on board with, though, is someone with as big a platform as Anna - who is intelligent enough to know the damage social media can do - would put all of this ‘aspirational’ new mum about own tit online.

I also can’t stand how much exposure that baby has had already. As I’ve said before, I am a stabby working class person, so maybe I just can’t relate? But ‘we’ don’t let our babies be cold, and we don’t drag them about all over the place on buses/tubes and tit unless absolutely necessary. The kids filthy nails holding the #preemie gave the heebie jeebies!! FYI my kids have been kept clean and away from unnecessary germs since birth and they genuinely are rarely unwell. It’s not like exposing them to filth as a tiny newborn helps their immune system or anything.

And another thing!! One really good reason not to be going here there and everywhere with a newborn is that you need time to sync up and learn their cues and ways. If you stay quietly with them as much as possible, you very quickly settle into a natural routine and know when they’re getting enough milk etc etc and this is so much more difficult when you’re trying to be a social butterfly at the same time.

She’s seemingly got a big, expensive house and a tit tonne of child free time and childcare, do some quiet things like have friends over, or walk to your nearest local coffee shop. The traipsing is just bonkers busy work, and means you’re exposing your #preemie to constant battles against rogue germs, fumes, too long in a car seat/pram, and their delicate skin is either too long in a soiled nappy or you have to change them in a grotty bathroom. Just no. All that just to make other mums feel tit about themselves for being in their dressing gowns. Like fair enough have a shower and move around, but this ‘I can do it all’ showing off thing is wrong for about 100 reasons!
Click to expand...
Couldn’t agree with you more - her level of influence is too big for her to do this dickheadish showing off that she’s doing. I would respect her more (the bar is very low here anyway) if she was curled up at home with biscuits and spent her day in her pyjamas. But no, she’s Anna so has to show off that she’s not let a new born slow her down - well, you know what, a newborn should slow you down because it’s not about you, it’s about them. There will be a new or expectant mum watching these stories and thinking, okay this is how it’s done is it, gotta take baby to the outside seating area of the pub in the first two weeks, got it, gotta schlep and grind and overshare… but why am I so tired and hurty. Cool cool cool.

I remember at my NCT group there being a moment when I think we talked about getting the housework done and having visitors etc and our NCT group leader said it’s not the mums with a messy home in their PJs you worry about as much as the mums with the immaculate home… which stuck with me (so much that my house is still a mess to this day…) but, seriously, a few weeks in you definitely want to start venturing out and establishing a little pootle schedule for you both but I can’t see what’s wrong with, especially in the winter, just enjoying some down time indoors cuddling and cooing and…. Recovering….
 
I am sure that when she had her first to she was the advocate for telling new mums to stay home without too many visitors for as long as possible. I had a summer baby & I remember hobbling to the pub garden during the day, but I couldn't have done it without my husband who had 2 weeks paternity leave. I have a natural, but horrific birth and it took me ages to recover. I had an abdominal hysterectomy a few months ago and I was absolutely fine & back driving after 7 days.
 
PoorPatrol said:
I was in bits after having kids, but can definitely understand that some people feel good quite quickly. That’s such a good thing, and obvs I wish it for everyone

What I can’t get on board with, though, is someone with as big a platform as Anna - who is intelligent enough to know the damage social media can do - would put all of this ‘aspirational’ new mum about own tit online.

I also can’t stand how much exposure that baby has had already. As I’ve said before, I am a stabby working class person, so maybe I just can’t relate? But ‘we’ don’t let our babies be cold, and we don’t drag them about all over the place on buses/tubes and tit unless absolutely necessary. The kids filthy nails holding the #preemie gave the heebie jeebies!! FYI my kids have been kept clean and away from unnecessary germs since birth and they genuinely are rarely unwell. It’s not like exposing them to filth as a tiny newborn helps their immune system or anything.

And another thing!! One really good reason not to be going here there and everywhere with a newborn is that you need time to sync up and learn their cues and ways. If you stay quietly with them as much as possible, you very quickly settle into a natural routine and know when they’re getting enough milk etc etc and this is so much more difficult when you’re trying to be a social butterfly at the same time.

She’s seemingly got a big, expensive house and a tit tonne of child free time and childcare, do some quiet things like have friends over, or walk to your nearest local coffee shop. The traipsing is just bonkers busy work, and means you’re exposing your #preemie to constant battles against rogue germs, fumes, too long in a car seat/pram, and their delicate skin is either too long in a soiled nappy or you have to change them in a grotty bathroom. Just no. All that just to make other mums feel tit about themselves for being in their dressing gowns. Like fair enough have a shower and move around, but this ‘I can do it all’ showing off thing is wrong for about 100 reasons!
Click to expand...
Quite. I was up and about with my first but after my second, I felt like I’d been hit by a sledgehammer. I remember going shopping quite early on after my second, but I left her at home with her dad who was on paternity leave. Idc if I’m being judgy, but for someone who wangs on continually about parental rights and all that tit, where the duck is Bretton in all this? Is he back at work already or does he not want to be alone with the baby? If she needs to go out so desperately why didn’t she leave the baby at home with her dad for some bonding time?

It was some time ago now since I had my kids but I’m sure the advice back then was to try and keep the baby at home inside for at least two weeks if at all possible and I’d imagine if her baby was a #preemie as she keeps saying, it would be for longer? Have they changed this now?
 
If she - at a later date - tries to paint this unnecessary schlepping around as proof that she was mentally unwell, trying to have it all and do it all, well… she can get to duck.

She’s a grown woman onto her third child. This isn’t her first rodeo. She has nothing to prove at this point. She is old enough and intelligent enough to know that she needs to rest, recuperate and lean on family/friends for help if she really can’t cope with the idea of being stuck indoors with a newborn. If she really suffered from severe PND and later pretended it was psychosis then keeping herself mentally well would be at the forefront of her mind right now.
 
Shared parental leave has been available to both mothers and fathers for around 9 years (I think) - have one male friend who did it for his nine year old son. And surely that’s the biggest ‘flex appeal, women in the workplace, no need to worry about being made redundant’ work benefit of them all. The woman has her baby, you have time to bond and recover from the birth / adoption process /whatever and then you pass it over to its other parent to care for it whilst you return to work. No opportunity for mothers to be disadvantaged in the workplace. If all parents who could took advantage of this then 100% of Pukka’s campaigning would be unnecessary.

So she spends years raging about women carrying the burden, feeling the ‘overwhelm’, demanding that the world needs to change and then when she has a newborn…. I would guess he had three days off. Clocks have gone back now and the only photo I’ve seen of him with the kid is obviously at night time. Not a single daylight hours photo of them. And you can bet a lifetime subscription of Sure deodorant that if he was sharing this he would be held up as an example to all.

So probably she should sort out her own personal situation before trying to tell everyone else how to behave?
 
Let's be honest, her actions over the last few years have been totally self serving and highly manipulative. I think we're wrong in almost thinking she's lost her way and wondering what she's up to and instead should be assuming 'the worst' with her. She lies about most things to give her most coverage and best press.

I wouldn't be surprised if she had a normal vaginal birth, pretty much on time but planned this whole narrative to create attention. She has a Nanny to help with the baby and maybe her eldest two are with their Dad most of the time so she's free to use this baby for content and profile.
 
hattie20 said:
Her Person has clearly fucked off into the sunset and gone back to his job instead of taking paternity leave, or all we would be hearing about right now is her campaigning for longer paternity leave and showing us photos of him looking miserable while holding the baby.
Click to expand...
It’s pretty shabby if he hasn’t bothered to take two weeks off work but then again, he just wanted some casual sex but ended up with his whole life being dissected online.
 
hattie20 said:
Her Person has clearly fucked off into the sunset and gone back to his job instead of taking paternity leave, or all we would be hearing about right now is her campaigning for longer paternity leave and showing us photos of him looking miserable while holding the baby.
Click to expand...
Oh yes, you're right. Chinny didn't take more than a day off did he? I bet she's spinning it that he's so important it's different for him and he's paying for help so it's all OK. I bet he legs it to work in the morning.
 
petitspois said:
Oh yes, you're right. Chinny didn't take more than a day off did he? I bet she's spinning it that he's so important it's different for him and he's paying for help so it's all OK. I bet he legs it to work in the morning.
Click to expand...

Well, yes, of course he’s soooooo important! He’s not like Kevin, the accounts manager who can mess about taking paternity leave, he’s Mr 24/7 bigshot!

I bet she’s already planning a post about it. Or she will lie, saying he’s been there all along. In which case, he’s a bleep for letting her struggle out in the concrete jungle all alone.
 
She's done this all before though, hasn't she - she spent the first few weeks of the last one's life in changing rooms trying on badly-fitting clothes in Westfield (and tagging all the brands - presumably an attempt to get some fashion #ads). And then claimed she was 'trying to win hearts and minds while she was losing hers' with the flex appeal stuff. I think she hasn't quite realised what she's let herself in for this time around to be honest. Mr Pukka was clearly a very engaged father who wasn't a 24/7 hedge fund lawyer and took up quite a lot of the slack - and even then they were useless enough to forget to enrol the kid for school.
 
Yes; where is lawyer and special person Olly Oliver Bretton?
I wonder if his mum made him do the honourable thing and put a ring on it, in order to spare the Bretton family shame of him having impregnated his Hinge hook up on the first date. If they at least pretend they’re getting married it makes it seem all the more respectable, which I imagine is important in their red-trousered social circle. The awkward thing is that they are both still relative strangers to one another. But appearances must!
Snarking aside, it’s sad that she seems to be so alone. I doubt it’s his own modesty keeping him off the stories - you know if he was there, she’d be making sure he was in every pic.
When I had my first, I fell into a bit of a trap of getting up and about and making sure I left the house every day and doing All The Things to prove to myself that I was super woman. Looking back now I don’t know who I was trying to prove it to. I regret wasting the opportunity to fully milk it for all it was worth and do absolutely nothing.
So when I had my second - I did exactly that! I sat on my fat arse and didn’t lift a finger for as long as I could get away with it 🤣
 
[
Lalalalaaaaaa85 said:
Cynical me thinks she’s doing all this and documenting it so she can later down the line say ‘look how mental I was?! I was unwell!! PPP had me in its clutches!!! Worship me’
Click to expand...

Which is just going to make Buzz lightyear look like even more of a prick for not (and sorry to use this, I am feeling a bit sick about to type it tbh), ”holding her in the hole”.

I had PND after my first. With our subsequent babies, my husband saved and took all his holiday after paternity leave just so I would have him there for the longest time possible incase it started again, he then worked from home for as long as h could. It didnt, thank god.

So Anna had PPP last time. And this time round, she’s alone and doing all things. I don’t buy it, sorry. If he cared about her and the baby, he would be there with them, watching for signs, after all, it’s a medical emergency. He’d surely be concerned that it would happen again and Wouldn’t want her to go through that alone?
 
hattie20 said:
[


Which is just going to make Buzz lightyear look like even more of a prick for not (and sorry to use this, I am feeling a bit sick about to type it tbh), ”holding her in the hole”.

I had PND after my first. With our subsequent babies, my husband saved and took all his holiday after paternity leave just so I would have him there for the longest time possible incase it started again, he then worked from home for as long as h could. It didnt, thank god.

So Anna had PPP last time. And this time round, she’s alone and doing all things. I don’t buy it, sorry. If he cared about her and the baby, he would be there with them, watching for signs, after all, it’s a medical emergency. He’d surely be concerned that it would happen again and Wouldn’t want her to go through that alone?
Click to expand...

orrrrr she never had PPP so it wasn’t a concern for her, and reassured the Chin by saying ‘don’t worry babe , i promise it’ll be like nothing changes in your life at all if you let me have this content baby’
 
hattie20 said:
[


Which is just going to make Buzz lightyear look like even more of a prick for not (and sorry to use this, I am feeling a bit sick about to type it tbh), ”holding her in the hole”.

I had PND after my first. With our subsequent babies, my husband saved and took all his holiday after paternity leave just so I would have him there for the longest time possible incase it started again, he then worked from home for as long as h could. It didnt, thank god.

So Anna had PPP last time. And this time round, she’s alone and doing all things. I don’t buy it, sorry. If he cared about her and the baby, he would be there with them, watching for signs, after all, it’s a medical emergency. He’d surely be concerned that it would happen again and Wouldn’t want her to go through that alone?
Click to expand...
I think she’s lied so much she forgot to fill him in on the PPP whopperoonie. I very much doubt he even glances at her page
 
Getting really good paternity/parental leave nailed would have a far bigger impact on ALL working women than the freelance issue to be honest.

Companies that offer decent leave to fathers level out the playing field to the benefit of both sexes. Women no longer bear the (genuine) stigma of being the ticking time bomb sex that could disappear for months on leave because EVERYONE might do that. Men even have a greater potential for it as their childbearing years are longer. And it becomes part of the normal weft and weave of working life. My company offers great parental leave to everyone and no one comments when a man disappears for a few months.

The freelance issue hits those it hits hard (those without rich lawyer partners and the ability to make money throughout from spon con anyway) but it affects a far smaller number of women than the much bigger issues around maternity leave full stop.
 
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Back
Top