Matthew Perry

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I’m thinking about him a lot recently. I have a friend currently facing up to the fact that he has addiction issues. It’s really tough.

I skim read a bit of Matthew’s book yesterday from the free sample you’re allowed on iBooks. I’ve never been massively tempted to read it despite being a big fan of his and of Friends. I knew it would be very self-indulgent, for want of a better word. Most addicts just seem to think they’re the first person who ever suffered and I just don’t want to read 400 pages of that. I knew it would be upsetting and sad.

Doesn’t mean I don’t have great compassion for him and where he ended up, but it’s also quite a selfish and navel-gazing thing, being off your fce on drugs all the time. It’s complex.
 
Flowerpotgirl said:
Honestly, I question if he was ever sober. When you abuse prescribed meds, you are still not sober. It’s such a shame, he was my favourite character too, and now I just can’t with him. The book he wrote put me off him-I didn’t get past about chapter 2, and now all the details about his life. Its very sad, but I find myself with little sympathy for him.
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I feel the same ,he was always my favourite in friends, after everything that's come out I just can't ethier
 
I wouldn’t be able to read it either. It seems much of it is about the struggles with alcoholism but I would have said the addiction to Vicodin - 55 a day - when claiming to be sober during filming - incredible. How would you get totake 55 a day and claim to be sober while recording Friends? Just because you’re taking them technically outside of the hours that you’re Chandler - you would have to be seriously impaired?
 
I did read the book.
And I thought he came across as incredibly self absorbed and selfish.
I read it thinking that it was an account of addiction by someone who’d cleaned up.
But actually, finding out that he hadn’t, doesn’t surprise me. Because it was very clear that he’d not reached the point of being truly sorry for the effect his addiction had had on others.
He was still very much in the poor me stage, and everything was to blame for his addiction but himself.
When they did the Friends reunion thing, I felt like the others excluded him a bit, didn’t fully interact with him, were a bit embarrassed by him. I felt sorry for him.
I now think he’d probably pushed most of them to the limits of friendship.
I’m certain now that the reason they were fairly slow
to put out statements after his death was because they knew they had to tread carefully, given that the sad truth was likely to come out about how clean he was (not).
I don’t know why I feel compelled to write such a lengthy post; I guess I just feel like his life and death are a perfect example of the fact that actors are always acting, and we never should never necessarily believe what they present as their real face.
 
mee43 said:
I did read the book.
And I thought he came across as incredibly self absorbed and selfish.
I read it thinking that it was an account of addiction by someone who’d cleaned up.
But actually, finding out that he hadn’t, doesn’t surprise me. Because it was very clear that he’d not reached the point of being truly sorry for the effect his addiction had had on others.
He was still very much in the poor me stage, and everything was to blame for his addiction but himself.
When they did the Friends reunion thing, I felt like the others excluded him a bit, didn’t fully interact with him, were a bit embarrassed by him. I felt sorry for him.
I now think he’d probably pushed most of them to the limits of friendship.
I’m certain now that the reason they were fairly slow
to put out statements after his death was because they knew they had to tread carefully, given that the sad truth was likely to come out about how clean he was (not).
I don’t know why I feel compelled to write such a lengthy post; I guess I just feel like his life and death are a perfect example of the fact that actors are always acting, and we never should never necessarily believe what they present as their real face.
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True. I entirely agree with what you say - however, I’m kind of mixed about it.

On the one hand, I understand what you are saying and the premise of the book that got to #1 bestseller - was that he had overcome his demons. He said that he wanted above all to be remembered for helping others and that anyone could come to him needing help andhe would never turn his back.

In reality, untrue. He had zero dealings with anybody it appears except an insatiable supply and enablers to assist.

My opinion in his defense though is - he isolated himself, he didn’t have a wife/partner/children to witness and carry the trauma into the future? I feel like he struggled very much alone. He carried the weight of his addictions on his own shoulders when he easily could have had a ‘picture perfect’ life for the pretense. That, in itself and for whatever reason, is admirable to me. Don’t drag kids into your chaos.
 
Milking Keynes said:
True. I entirely agree with what you say - however, I’m kind of mixed about it.

On the one hand, I understand what you are saying and the premise of the book that got to #1 bestseller - was that he had overcome his demons. He said that he wanted above all to be remembered for helping others and that anyone could come to him needing help andhe would never turn his back.

In reality, untrue. He had zero dealings with anybody it appears except an insatiable supply and enablers to assist.

My opinion in his defense though is - he isolated himself, he didn’t have a wife/partner/children to witness and carry the trauma into the future? I feel like he struggled very much alone. He carried the weight of his addictions on his own shoulders when he easily could have had a ‘picture perfect’ life for the pretense. That, in itself and for whatever reason, is admirable to me. Don’t drag kids into your chaos.
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Completely agree that it’s a blessing that there aren’t kids left behind to deal with this trauma.
And I’m not without sympathy that MP could only deal with life through a haze of opiates, or whatever.
I’m reminded of a friend of Amy Winehouse saying that when Amy went through a period off booze and drugs, she was winning every accolade and producing some fine work.
But she allegedly turned to her friend after picking up an award one night and whispered that she hated it all, and she wasn’t enjoying life without the drugs.
For some people I guess that’s just their reality, sadly.
 
mee43 said:
Completely agree that it’s a blessing that there aren’t kids left behind to deal with this trauma.
And I’m not without sympathy that MP could only deal with life through a haze of opiates, or whatever.
I’m reminded of a friend of Amy Winehouse saying that when Amy went through a period off booze and drugs, she was winning every accolade and producing some fine work.
But she allegedly turned to her friend after picking up an award one night and whispered that she hated it all, and she wasn’t enjoying life without the drugs.
For some people I guess that’s just their reality, sadly.
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Oh don’t. That part of Amy is the saddest thing. It was after she won her grammys she said it 😔
 
mee43 said:
Completely agree that it’s a blessing that there aren’t kids left behind to deal with this trauma.
And I’m not without sympathy that MP could only deal with life through a haze of opiates, or whatever.
I’m reminded of a friend of Amy Winehouse saying that when Amy went through a period off booze and drugs, she was winning every accolade and producing some fine work.
But she allegedly turned to her friend after picking up an award one night and whispered that she hated it all, and she wasn’t enjoying life without the drugs.
For some people I guess that’s just their reality, sadly.
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Did she say something like it was boring without the drink/drugs?
I got that and kind of agreed. Things are different when sober
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Another take
https://www.12ft.io/https://www.dai...ew-Perry-ketamine-death-MAUREEN-CALLAHAN.html
 
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At one stage, he claimed to be ‘pissed off’ to be alive when all the other similar cases died - that was the night that he was warned he had a 2% chance of life, in hospital. He miraculously lived - the only one, I believe, as four others died and that meant more tiresome rehab as far as he was concerned ... did he want to die and his wish came true? He definitely had little will to live- but does it make it any less sad?

On the flip side - same interview - he claimed it was ‘very unfair’ that the other five in Friends could enjoy the lifestyle and he was the only one who couldn’t. Twice he used the term ‘very unfair’ for the way he was facing addiction and they weren’t. I felt that was shrugging off all personal responsibility - they had all the same pressures and Jen and Courteney arguably more.
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Milking Keynes said:
At one stage, he claimed to be ‘pissed off’ to be alive when all the other similar cases died - that was the night that he was warned he had a 2% chance of life, in hospital. He miraculously lived - the only one, I believe, as four others died and that meant more tiresome rehab as far as he was concerned ... did he want to die and his wish came true? He definitely had little will to live- but does it make it any less sad?

On the flip side - same interview - he claimed it was ‘very unfair’ that the other five in Friends could enjoy the lifestyle and he was the only one who couldn’t. Twice he used the term ‘very unfair’ for the way he was facing addiction and they weren’t. I felt that was shrugging off all personal responsibility - they had all the same pressures and Jen and Courteney arguably more.
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I have seen this interview - he said it was "not fair" and the interviewer repeated it.

I do think that MP was possibly "wired for drugs" because he was given drugs/sleeping pills as a baby and I do think it has impact on the brain.

But of course he had personal responsibility.

I just think that for some people it is easier to get sober and for others it is harder.

Do you think the other "Friends" cut him out or stopped having contact with him? David Schwimmer and Matt also seem to do their own thing, Lisa as well.
Only Jennifer and "Monica" seem very close, still.

I also felt that MP was the one who was most attached to "Friends", from an emotional perspective. He wanted to have the last line, I felt he made a "grand entrance" scene when he came in as the last one at the reunion. It seemed like he always wanted to have a special role cast out for him.
 
mee43 said:
I did read the book.
And I thought he came across as incredibly self absorbed and selfish.
I read it thinking that it was an account of addiction by someone who’d cleaned up.
But actually, finding out that he hadn’t, doesn’t surprise me. Because it was very clear that he’d not reached the point of being truly sorry for the effect his addiction had had on others.
He was still very much in the poor me stage, and everything was to blame for his addiction but himself.
When they did the Friends reunion thing, I felt like the others excluded him a bit, didn’t fully interact with him, were a bit embarrassed by him. I felt sorry for him.
I now think he’d probably pushed most of them to the limits of friendship.
I’m certain now that the reason they were fairly slow
to put out statements after his death was because they knew they had to tread carefully, given that the sad truth was likely to come out about how clean he was (not).
I don’t know why I feel compelled to write such a lengthy post; I guess I just feel like his life and death are a perfect example of the fact that actors are always acting, and we never should never necessarily believe what they present as their real face.
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Agree with all this.

I saw some interview he did a while ago for promotion of the book and thought he came off as entitled, bitter and thoroughly spoiled, tbqh. Not a likeable character, and he struck me as a 50 year old with an adolescent attitude in certain respects. they do say people get fixed at the age they become famous sometimes. His humour was bitter as hell too. He must have been hell to live with - anyone who comes off this badly publicly when trying to sell themselves is going to be a private nightmare.

He also was reportedly bitter as hell about women, and in denial about why his relationships failed, accusing them of wanting his money, but clearly went after women for whom the money would be the main factor of attraction. You're not getting a normal, well balanced woman to live with his level of addiction and attitude and mess, let alone a woman who has her own money. He positioned himself at women who would put up with him for the lifestyle being with a sick, bitter but very very rich dude would entail and even then couldn't keep them around.

I think fame is the worst thing for people like Perry, tbqh, especially the type of hugely lucrative fame which meant he never had to work again. It seems if there's a major personality flaw, it magnifies it.

I do find it interesting how mcuh time and work has gone into tracking and charging everyone involved in his OD, including the obviously corrupt doctors. It's good those people are prosecuted. However, the little people who die the same way rarely get anywhere near the attention given to their cases, which are no more or less tragic.
 
whathastheworldcometo said:
I have seen this interview - he said it was "not fair" and the interviewer repeated it.

I do think that MP was possibly "wired for drugs" because he was given drugs/sleeping pills as a baby and I do think it has impact on the brain.

But of course he had personal responsibility.

I just think that for some people it is easier to get sober and for others it is harder.

Do you think the other "Friends" cut him out or stopped having contact with him? David Schwimmer and Matt also seem to do their own thing, Lisa as well.
Only Jennifer and "Monica" seem very close, still.

I also felt that MP was the one who was most attached to "Friends", from an emotional perspective. He wanted to have the last line, I felt he made a "grand entrance" scene when he came in as the last one at the reunion. It seemed like he always wanted to have a special role cast out for him.
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I can imagine his ego on set was huge, and that he believed Chandler to be the main and most popular character with the arrogance of that. The others, for all of their fame and fortune, seem fairly down to earth and likeable.
 
Reading the comments, I have to agree that he did come across, while promoting the book, as egotistical. He claimed that he hero worshipped Michael J Fox when Back to the Future came out because he had a number one TV series at the same time as a number one box office hit.

He then said only one other Canadian managed to do the same... me! This was when Friends and The Whole Nine Yards were number 1 at the same time.

Considering the challenges Michael J Fox has had, that comment didn’t land well and actually the comparison in my mind was miles apart. The courage MJ has shown throughout his long battle with Parkinsons is astounding and his recent appearance at Coldplay at Glastonbury was a bawl your eyes out moment of courage and complete lack of ego and vanity - just a music loving fan enjoying the set.

I’m beginning to think I confused Chandler for Matthew and vice versa. I just loved him in Friends and now a bit torn.
 
Milking Keynes said:
Reading the comments, I have to agree that he did come across, while promoting the book, as egotistical. He claimed that he hero worshipped Michael J Fox when Back to the Future came out because he had a number one TV series at the same time as a number one box office hit.

He then said only one other Canadian managed to do the same... me! This was when Friends and The Whole Nine Yards were number 1 at the same time.

Considering the challenges Michael J Fox has had, that comment didn’t land well and actually the comparison in my mind was miles apart. The courage MJ has shown throughout his long battle with Parkinsons is astounding and his recent appearance at Coldplay at Glastonbury was a bawl your eyes out moment of courage and complete lack of ego and vanity - just a music loving fan enjoying the set.

I’m beginning to think I confused Chandler for Matthew and vice versa. I just loved him in Friends and now a bit torn.
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I'm the same as you, Chandler was my favorite character in friends. He was funny and sarcastic. I think sometimes we like to think (I know I do) that the actor is the same in real life. 9 times out of 10 they aren't at all. Which is understandable, they are playing a role. With Matthew we saw his weight fluctuate and there were some points now you think oh you weren't sober then watching it. I would imagine the friends cast and crew tried to help him but if he doesn't want to help himself then there's no chance. Addicts do tend to be very self centered and come across as wronged. Unfortunately he had the money to pay people to inject him, get him drugs and buy drugs at a crazy price. I think he knew somewhere that drugs would kill him eventually and that's sad.
 
LouBug19 said:
I'm the same as you, Chandler was my favorite character in friends. He was funny and sarcastic. I think sometimes we like to think (I know I do) that the actor is the same in real life. 9 times out of 10 they aren't at all. Which is understandable, they are playing a role. With Matthew we saw his weight fluctuate and there were some points now you think oh you weren't sober then watching it. I would imagine the friends cast and crew tried to help him but if he doesn't want to help himself then there's no chance. Addicts do tend to be very self centered and come across as wronged. Unfortunately he had the money to pay people to inject him, get him drugs and buy drugs at a crazy price. I think he knew somewhere that drugs would kill him eventually and that's sad.
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Very true. I totally agree - I think addiction must make you self-centred as well. A couple of other things irked me that he said in interview - obviously, this is in light of what we now know - but he said the ‘secret’ is the killer when he was masterful at being secretive, also that ‘never leave an AA meeting without scheduling the next one’.

I mean, it did not come from a genuine position of recovery and was meted out to those actually putting the work in to sobriety - that’s worse than the big ‘secret’ that’s flat out lying to the vulnerable.
 
It's so sad to think he brought so many people so much joy but just couldn't escape himself. Based on what we know, some of the excerpts from his book and his Instagram posts, I think he probably knew he was only going one way.
I don't doubt he could be a horrific person and had so many issues but it makes me so incredibly thankful I've never had to go through that. It's just heartbreaking for everyone involved
 
I'm so lucky that I was a child when Friends was on so I was oblivious to his physical giveaways of his troubles on the show.
Very interesting point about him potentially feeling he carried the show.
This is of course just from my perspective but when it was on I always thought Jen and David held the show, then Matt LB and Courtney followed last by Matthew Perry and Lisa. Perhaps it was storylines, how much airtime they had, quotable scripts etc?
 
georgiecait said:
I'm so lucky that I was a child when Friends was on so I was oblivious to his physical giveaways of his troubles on the show.
Very interesting point about him potentially feeling he carried the show.
This is of course just from my perspective but when it was on I always thought Jen and David held the show, then Matt LB and Courtney followed last by Matthew Perry and Lisa. Perhaps it was storylines, how much airtime they had, quotable scripts etc?
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Agree the Ross/Rachel storyline was the central plot and everything else sort of happened around it.

I agree with others about the mixed feelings regarding MP. It is of course tragic but I don’t think he came across as a particularly likeable person and a lot of people are thinking about Chandler rather than MP. He was unfortunate to be it appears highly susceptible to addiction with the addition of massive wealth to be able to fund it and never really have any need to get clean.
 
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