Lizzy Hadfield and Lindsey Holland #3 Boobs, booze and BJs

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anyone spotted that Lindsey is living in Joanna Halpin's old apartment?
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👀
 
Behold, incoming essay.

So I made it through the audiobook and I had massive deja vu throughout, it really is just a more refined, boring version of the podcast. It lacks any real panache and comes across in the same cheesy way Carrie Bradshaw’s column did.

The only new, vaguely juicy part.
Now I never liked Ben, personality and appearance wise he just doesn’t do it for me but I thought they totally threw him under a bus. It appears Lizzy and Ben broke up as Lizzy, with the help of Lindsey, became aware she was the one making the most effort in travelling to see him - no mention of him having an actual job.
It seems Lindsey was annoyed at Lizzy for prioritising spending time with Ben, Lizzy was spending all her weekends with or wanting to see Ben. Lindsey accused Ben of love bombing Lizzy.
In a later chapter Lizzy said when she commits to a relationship she goes all in but doesn’t seem to realise that’s exactly what she did with Ben. Lizzy sounded like the desperately needy one who wanted to see Ben at every opportunity and did she ever stop to think Ben might have perhaps been okay without seeing her for a few weeks?

Oh and Lizzy mentions online trolling, likening it to Caroline Flack. She reads out two very tame comments, one saying something like she used to dress slutty and now she dresses like a grandma why doesn’t she dress like her true slutty self.
And apparently we are community of strangers who like attacking someone we don’t know because we have low confidence. Oh Lizzy! 🤦‍♀️ We just call you out on being shady with your ad and single white female-ing the Halpins, a big difference from the British tabloids who pushed Caroline Flack to suicide over domestic violence.

Although it is always sad when someone experiences death the chapter on grief doesn’t fit with the rest of the book - drinking, sex, breakups. Obviously it had to be included as Lizzy treats the death of her dad as being a personality trait. Lizzy even admits it was her mother who pushed her towards counseling so it definitely is something you can ask yer mum.

Every chapter they wrote letters to each other which I thought was bad enough but then they wrote letters to their virgin selves, why on earth?
They also did a Q&A at the end of every chapter, who asked the questions? No one knows.
The rest of the book was just predictably cliche.
Their remedy for heartbreak is to drink wine and read books.
Lizzy likes to skip showers.
They believe in and call psychics.
Realising Lizzy prefers a navy jumper to a black jumper gave her confidence.
Don't worry about losing your virginity because boys don't know what they're doing either.
They don’t like high maintenance friendships and say this whilst describing their own high maintenance friendship.

The deja vu is so bad I can’t even remember what is from the book or the podcast and I only finished listening to the book two days ago.
 
@Artaud, you're a legend. Thanks for this thorough and honest book report, which has been more insightful than any of Lizzy's own book "chats".

What's so eye-rolling about all of this is that they advertise their podcast and book as relatable, no-holds-barred real talk when it's anything but. Re: romantic relationships, Lizzy and Lindsey will never admit the truth, like "I broke up with Ben because I was in love with Dean" or "James wouldn't put a ring on it". It's only ever "I prioritized a boy over my friends" or "I wasn't true to myself." Because doing otherwise would actually show their flaws. They have to keep up their wild-but-good-girl-20-something-bff facade, even at the expense of telling a good story.
 
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meowmeowbeans said:
@Artaud, you're a legend. Thanks for this thorough and honest book report, which has been more insightful than any of Lizzy's own book "chats".

What's so eye-rolling about all of this is that they advertise their podcast and book as relatable, no-holds-barred real talk when it's anything but. Re: romantic relationships, Lizzy and Lindsey will never admit the truth, like "I broke up with Ben because I was in love with Dean" or "James wouldn't put a ring on it". It's only ever "I prioritized a boy over my friends" or "I wasn't true to myself." Because doing otherwise would actually show their flaws. They have to keep up their wild-but-good-girl-20-something-bff facade, even at the expense of telling a good story.
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To give them some credit there are amusing parts in both the book and podcast, some of it being unintentional but it’s just so predictable and lacks any real depth.

Who is the target demographic? I’m between Lindsey and Lizzy in age and it just does nothing for me. I can talk casually about these topics with my friends to a much deeper level, even if I couldn’t I don’t need advice from these two that I already knew when I was a teenager.
Their content is really no different to overhearing strangers in public spaces, you’re always left with not hearing the whole story. Lindsey is the more open and honest out of them but they’re still both guarded and withholding from the reader, generally I think for these types of books to have any affect they need to be no holds barred even if it makes the writer uncomfortable.

And the book is recycled content from their free podcast! With some cringe letters thrown in.

What happened with between Lizzy and Dean? Because Dean tells people he bought a house in 2019 with his girlfriend of ten years. Also his real name isn’t Dean. 🤷‍♀️
 
To them, their target demographic is probably women in their age group. But based on the actual content, it sounds like it's more for young adults who haven't experienced much of life yet. Like others have said before, there's better advice (and better questions) about love and relationships in actual advice columns.

The thing with Lizzy and Dean was that she uploaded a vlog that had some B roll of her journal, and a few eagle-eyed viewers discovered that she'd basically written out why she broke up with Ben. Then she promptly took down the video and re-uploaded it without that bit. I think their relationship was one-sided, as Dean had a girlfriend the whole time, but he was kind of creepy and Lizzy is clingy, so who knows for sure.
 
Artaud said:
To

What happened with between Lizzy and Dean? Because Dean tells people he bought a house in 2019 with his girlfriend of ten years. Also his real name isn’t Dean. 🤷‍♀️
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who's Dean? can't believe I've missed this.
Also thank you so much foreign able to put yourself through the pain of listening to that radio book. One for the team x
 
Yes, surely, Lizzy would travel
Voyeurofcrap said:
He barely posts since their breakup, I get the feeling she genuinely broke his heart
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I don’t think she broke his heart. He had his Instagram up until recently. He probably deleted it because he knew the book was coming out and we would all be snooping around again.

Chinchilla said:
who's Dean? can't believe I've missed this.
Also thank you so much foreign able to put yourself through the pain of listening to that radio book. One for the team x
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Dean was the photographer she used to work with. They were just friends according to Lizzy. Later, she dated Ben and then broke up with him. It took a while before she told us, be we had figured it out already.

Then one day, allegedly, she posted a video that accidentally showed a page of her diary and on that page it said she was in love with Dean and that was the reason she broke up with Ben, apparently.

I can’t tell for sure, I did see that video and I also remember it suddenly wasn’t available for a while before she re-posted. But I didn’t pick up on that diary page myself. I just remember the conversation about it here.

meowmeowbeans said:
To them, their target demographic is probably women in their age group. But based on the actual content, it sounds like it's more for young adults who haven't experienced much of life yet. Like others have said before, there's better advice (and better questions) about love and relationships in actual advice columns.

The thing with Lizzy and Dean was that she uploaded a vlog that had some B roll of her journal, and a few eagle-eyed viewers discovered that she'd basically written out why she broke up with Ben. Then she promptly took down the video and re-uploaded it without that bit. I think their relationship was one-sided, as Dean had a girlfriend the whole time, but he was kind of creepy and Lizzy is clingy, so who knows for sure.
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If they’re speaking to their past selves, maybe they’re targeting a younger audience?
 
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Hey guys! So...I can't find Ben on insta like a couple of you mentioned, his username used to be Benjarmin but it seems to have been deleted. The reason why I made an account is actually because I used to talk with him a little bit on insta DM's (we have a friend in common, maybe that's why he answered me). One time we ended up writing to each other about moving on from past relationships + break ups and he actually, a bit surprising to me, said that he broke things up with Lizzy. He didn't say her name specifically, but it was clear that he meant Lizzy considering the timeframe etc. Around the time of their break up he also posted a lot about his own limiting beliefs on insta and that he had started doing quite a few things to improve his mental health, like meditation, diet and exercise etc. Of course there is a chance that what he wrote to me wasn't true, and I know that I am a lurker making an account to write this and everything should be taken with a grain of salt, but yeah, that's the so called tea.

Did anyone ever read what Lizzy wrote about Dean in that diary? I remember that she took her video down saying that there was something wrong with her audio, that she had got copyrighted or something along those lines.

Anyway, ramble over:)
 
tteaspiller123 said:
Hey guys! So...I can't find Ben on insta like a couple of you mentioned, his username used to be Benjarmin but it seems to have been deleted. The reason why I made an account is actually because I used to talk with him a little bit on insta DM's (we have a friend in common, maybe that's why he answered me). One time we ended up writing to each other about moving on from past relationships + break ups and he actually, a bit surprising to me, said that he broke things up with Lizzy. He didn't say her name specifically, but it was clear that he meant Lizzy considering the timeframe etc. Around the time of their break up he also posted a lot about his own limiting beliefs on insta and that he had started doing quite a few things to improve his mental health, like meditation, diet and exercise etc. Of course there is a chance that what he wrote to me wasn't true, and I know that I am a lurker making an account to write this and everything should be taken with a grain of salt, but yeah, that's the so called tea.

Did anyone ever read what Lizzy wrote about Dean in that diary? I remember that she took her video down saying that there was something wrong with her audio, that she had got copyrighted or something along those lines.

Anyway, ramble over:)
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I've followed Ben since the Lizzy days and never unfollowed him, so from time to time he would appear on my feed. I remember this, there was a a bunch of Insta stories about how his life had become all about alcohol and going out or something like that and that he was taking control of his life and focusing on his health. I remember at the time being like woah this is totally about Lizzy (and essentially he was implying he didn't like that lifestyle) and meant to screenshot it to come back and read it again and I forgot to. But yeah, I do remember that too. He actually seemed to be an okay person from Instagram, at the begining of the pandemic he spent some time in Australia if I am not mistaken but seemed to be back in Amsterdam recently.

I obviously only know what Lizzy showed us but it did look like at the time Lizzy had just broken up with what's his name (???) in Manchester and moved to London. She has said in the past that her self esteem was at an all time low and that Ben made her feel sexy. I think he was new and exciting and fit into this new aesthetic she was trying so hard to cultivate around being a London girl, that travelled a lot, and had a bf who she would jet off to see in Amsterdam. If I am not mistaken, she has said that the sex was really good too. :sick: I think it was obvious that Lizzy would end up doing more travelling to see him than the other way round because he had a 9 to 5 and I think at the time didn't necessarily have a very senior role so probably wasn't bringing in the kind of money Lizzy was.
 
dreamybutterfly said:
I've followed Ben since the Lizzy days and never unfollowed him, so from time to time he would appear on my feed. I remember this, there was a a bunch of Insta stories about how his life had become all about alcohol and going out or something like that and that he was taking control of his life and focusing on his health. I remember at the time being like woah this is totally about Lizzy (and essentially he was implying he didn't like that lifestyle) and meant to screenshot it to come back and read it again and I forgot to. But yeah, I do remember that too. He actually seemed to be an okay person from Instagram, at the begining of the pandemic he spent some time in Australia if I am not mistaken but seemed to be back in Amsterdam recently.

I obviously only know what Lizzy showed us but it did look like at the time Lizzy had just broken up with what's his name (???) in Manchester and moved to London. She has said in the past that her self esteem was at an all time low and that Ben made her feel sexy. I think he was new and exciting and fit into this new aesthetic she was trying so hard to cultivate around being a London girl, that travelled a lot, and had a bf who she would jet off to see in Amsterdam. If I am not mistaken, she has said that the sex was really good too. :sick: I think it was obvious that Lizzy would end up doing more travelling to see him than the other way round because he had a 9 to 5 and I think at the time didn't necessarily have a very senior role so probably wasn't bringing in the kind of money Lizzy was.
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I actually don’t mind Ben. He doesn’t have a career that is based around vanity.

Lizzy has a job that is pretty flexible, she can work in Amsterdam while Ben is working. She doesn’t need to fly over so often:unsure:
 
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