Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!

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It's a Liz Tattle Presscon this week on the podcast! Cut for length

We start with Liz and Nic talking about movies and some other stuff. Liz gets in the following jabs:
1. Hey, Olivia Colman! You're overrated, have "an attitude" and play yourself in every movie!
2. Hey, Lily James, your name sucks! Stop being called Lily and have a proper name like Hilda, Ethel, or Mabel!
3. Hey, men in the Tory Cabinet! You look scruffy when photographed exercising in public. Carrie, buy Boris "a lovely pair of grey marl jogging bottoms", stat!
4. Hey, Matt Hancock! Your torso is so ugly you shouldn't have found a wife much less a mistress!
5. Hey, women! You have "emasculated men" and "made them use wheely bin liners and go up stepladders." And wear grey marl jogging bottoms. I'm pretty sure men would have to do those things anyway? Unless they're freakishly tall and want a disgusting bin.

Liz says "(her) mum had a real respect for (her) dad and didn't push him around" whereas "these days women do push men around" - like you and David you mean? There's lots of talk about 50 Shades of Grey. Liz is "banned from Canada" because she wrote an article advocating people boycott Canada on account of seal culling. In total she is "barred from three countries and the Victoria Beckham fashion show." Nic praises the novel The Maid by Nita Prose and Liz snippily says "would you rather work for her?" (Nita Prose.)

Column of the week! Basically, just after Christmas Liz was contacted by the charity that helped her adopt her new rescue dog. Someone got in touch with them anonymously to state that Liz lets her dogs kill sheep and cats, doesn't train them, and left them alone in the car on a hot day. Liz complains it's all Nic's responsibility since Nic is hired to care for the dogs. Nic says "the dogs have 24/7 care." No one's debating that, it's how they're cared for (or rather are not.) Liz blames the previous owners of her dogs (and in Gracie's case, of Gracie's mother) for their behavioural problems. Nic says "if Gracie destroys something it only affects (Liz.)" Liz herself has previously said in print that she's been evicted from multiple rental properties because the dogs destroyed furniture. I'm sure the owners of those properties will be glad to know she is the only one affected by the destruction her untrained hounds cause.

Nic wrote to the lady from the charity to defend Liz - so, someone IS sticking up for Liz, then. Liz witches about the previous owner of Nellie the horse. TL;DR if you don't remember that one: Nellie died a few weeks after Liz acquired her. Liz said she died from colic, but someone on Mumsnet claimed to know the previous owner and said they were alleging Nellie's death was caused by neglect. Liz says actually, Nellie was already seriously ill when Liz took her in, and the previous owner reneged on an agreement to pay for euthanasia and cremation. She whines about the owner going to Mumsnet and the editor of the Mail. Then about the other allegations against her on Mumsnet that she took cocaine. She says "if you lie about me there are consequences!" Convenient how you don't seem to face any consequences for all the lies you tell.

Liz is also upset that "no one stuck up for her" when Hearing Dogs for the Deaf said she doesn't have hearing dogs. Well, that's because they are the only authority that trains and supplies hearing dogs. If they didn't give you a hearing dog, you don't have a hearing dog. She says they want a monopoly on training hearing dogs so they can make money. I repeat: they're the only authority that regulates hearing dogs. You might as well say "Ofcom wants the monopoly on regulating the media so they make money! It's not fair that I can't just tell them to get stuffed and create my own broadcasting standards!"

Liz complains about people writing to the Mail to complain about her treatment of her animals and "no one cares that I'm a human being! no one stuck up for me!" Nic talks about caring for Nellie and says "no one understands, you're just social media bullies etc etc". Liz says the editor of the Mail didn't help her when a columnist for the Evening Standard tweeted that Liz "has sex with her cats", then deleted it. She says the editor asked if she had the Tweet and she replied "it was published in the Evening Standard!" If it had been, you'd have a case. So basically you didn't screenshot the Tweet and have no evidence. She whines about the "horrible little man" who complained to the charity and says she is taking him to court.

Archive column is about her first proper celebrity interview which was with Kenneth Branagh. She tells some rambling stories about other interviews and we end on more "fanmail" from admiring readers. One of them asks what nicknames Liz and Nic are called by their family and friends. Do you really want the answer to that question?

So, Liz, good luck taking the "horrible little man" to court. We ask, though: is it a coincidence that six weeks or so ago when you were writing this column, we were talking right here about how you treat your animals?
 
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Oh dear, I think Jonesey might have bitten off more than she can chew in tomorrow's Dreary. Quite apart from actually naming her detractor (Andrew G Doe, a published writer) regarding her documented ill-treatment of animals (she fessed up to leaving her dogs in a hot car, ffs) she also lists a catalogue of her other crimes, amongst which she mentions cocaine-gate. Apparently, the reason the paper wouldn't fund her legal action (why would they?) is that it would be "too expensive". ONLY IF YOU LOSE, DIMWIT.
So, we can safely assume the actual truth... and only speculate regarding her dismissal from the Mail....
 
Mediastar said:
Oh dear, I think Jonesey might have bitten off more than she can chew in tomorrow's Dreary. Quite apart from actually naming her detractor (Andrew G Doe, a published writer) regarding her documented ill-treatment of animals (she fessed up to leaving her dogs in a hot car, ffs) she also lists a catalogue of her other crimes, amongst which she mentions cocaine-gate. Apparently, the reason the paper wouldn't fund her legal action (why would they?) is that it would be "too expensive". ONLY IF YOU LOSE, DIMWIT.
So, we can safely assume the actual truth... and only speculate regarding her dismissal from the Mail....
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Does she mention Hearing Dogs for Deaf People in the column (like she did in the podcast?) If so she can expect another complaint from them for falsely claiming to have a hearing dog.

In the podcast Liz said "I never said I got my hearing dogs from them!" That's beside the point. If your dog didn't come from HDDP, they're not a hearing dog. It has to be regulated so that hearing dogs are trained to the same standard and deaf people are protected properly (Liz, being profoundly deaf and all should understand this.) That's why you can't train your own, not because "they want to make money." Her attitude is awful
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
Does she mention Hearing Dogs for Deaf People in the column (like she did in the podcast?) If so she can expect another complaint from them for falsely claiming to have a hearing dog.

In the podcast Liz said "I never said I got my hearing dogs from them!" That's beside the point. If your dog didn't come from HDDP, they're not a hearing dog. It has to be regulated so that hearing dogs are trained to the same standard and deaf people are protected properly (Liz, being profoundly deaf and all should understand this.) That's why you can't train your own, not because "they want to make money." Her attitude is awful
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Yup, she claims she was reported to the Press Complaints Commission "and won".
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
That's beside the point. If your dog didn't come from HDDP, they're not a hearing dog. It has to be regulated so that hearing dogs are trained to the same standard and deaf people are protected properly (Liz, being profoundly deaf and all should understand this.)
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It’s time her claim to ‘Profound Deafness’ is called out. She’s very probably a bit hard of hearing but the stories of being deaf as a child and no one noticing seem false to me. She’s not had her hearing aids for that long so how did she work in the Fashion Industry or interview celebrities if she couldn’t hear? She’s claiming ‘Sisterhood’ with genuinely deaf people like Rose Ayling Ellis now. It’s too much.
She gives herself away continuously, she heard her phone beep with a message from the RS, not long ago… she claimed to have taken her hearing aids out??
Maybe she’s trying to carve out another role for herself as a celebrity deaf person, paid interviews and appearances on chat shows.. she’s spotted how famous and well loved Rose has become?
I hope HDDP correct her nonsense.
 
Origen said:
It’s time her claim to ‘Profound Deafness’ is called out. She’s very probably a bit hard of hearing but the stories of being deaf as a child and no one noticing seem false to me. She’s not had her hearing aids for that long so how did she work in the Fashion Industry or interview celebrities if she couldn’t hear? She’s claiming ‘Sisterhood’ with genuinely deaf people like Rose Ayling Ellis now. It’s too much.
She gives herself away continuously, she heard her phone beep with a message from the RS, not long ago… she claimed to have taken her hearing aids out??
Maybe she’s trying to carve out another role for herself as a celebrity deaf person, paid interviews and appearances on chat shows.. she’s spotted how famous and well loved Rose has become?
I hope HDDP correct her nonsense.
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Amazing how she can also hear shop assistants muttering rude comments about her......
 
She can take a phone call normally with her hearing aids, and record a podcast with Nic. She certainly isn't on a level with Rose. She doesn't need to use sign language, she can get by without lip-reading if someone's wearing a mask, etc. She says her "hearing dogs" are trained to bark if her fire alarm goes off, well if she were profoundly deaf how could she hear the barking in the first place?
 
Origen said:
It’s time her claim to ‘Profound Deafness’ is called out. She’s very probably a bit hard of hearing but the stories of being deaf as a child and no one noticing seem false to me. She’s not had her hearing aids for that long so how did she work in the Fashion Industry or interview celebrities if she couldn’t hear? She’s claiming ‘Sisterhood’ with genuinely deaf people like Rose Ayling Ellis now. It’s too much.
She gives herself away continuously, she heard her phone beep with a message from the RS, not long ago… she claimed to have taken her hearing aids out??
Maybe she’s trying to carve out another role for herself as a celebrity deaf person, paid interviews and appearances on chat shows.. she’s spotted how famous and well loved Rose has become?
I hope HDDP correct her nonsense.
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I am congenitally partially deaf in one ear thanks to fused ear bones and it was most certainly noticed as a child; I remember several outpatient appointments and at least one operation around the age seven or eight. For profound deafness to be missed is impossible. I have trouble wearing a hearing aid as it keeps falling off due to operations messing up my outer ear. However, residual hearing and my other ear enabled me to mask deafness (including the military!) until age related loss set in. I suspect that the numpty is similar. She should look up the definition of profound deafness.
 
Blurp said:
I am congenitally partially deaf in one ear thanks to fused ear bones and it was most certainly noticed as a child; I remember several outpatient appointments and at least one operation around the age seven or eight. For profound deafness to be missed is impossible. I have trouble wearing a hearing aid as it keeps falling off due to operations messing up my outer ear. However, residual hearing and my other ear enabled me to mask deafness (including the military!) until age related loss set in. I suspect that the numpty is similar. She should look up the definition of profound deafness.
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Who are you to say Liz isn't profoundly deaf, you horrid little man / woman? She's going to name you in the Dreary and then sue you for lying about her! She doesn't need a medical definition of profound deafness, especially not from the NHS! She's ALWAYS being bullied, why does no one stick up for her?
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
She can take a phone call normally with her hearing aids, and record a podcast with Nic. She certainly isn't on a level with Rose. She doesn't need to use sign language, she can get by without lip-reading if someone's wearing a mask, etc. She says her "hearing dogs" are trained to bark if her fire alarm goes off, well if she were profoundly deaf how could she hear the barking in the first place?
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Exactly, it’s the same exaggerated complaining she did with the ‘Brain Tumour’ scare. She was crawling up the stairs, unable to stand without reeling and then suddenly recovered enough to drive to Soho to meet a potential beau?? It’s awful for readers who may have actually had a brain tumour…or those who actually have profoundly deaf children or relatives.
But I’ll give her this.. she is completely and utterly tone-deaf.
 
Somebody really ought to explain that feeding a dog human food, whether organic or not, is not great for them. Knowing her, it is bound to be vegetarian too. Dogs are carnivores, they need meat, no matter what claptrap Jones has convinced herself to believe.

Poor Teddy, how long before he becomes another victim of one of her other neurotic dogs. She blames the farmer for Gracie’s problems, saying Gracie’s Mother passed the fear onto her puppies. Well if that’s the case, then neurotic Liz Jones can’t be doing her animals any favours.

Funny, she doesn’t like being written about by others, yet she does this every week about people who have had the misfortune to enter her world.
 
Ah, so they HAVE let through comments pointing out that Liz herself admitted to leaving her dogs in the car on a hot day

"Nic really does earn her money working for LJ doesn't she. Would be interesting to hear Nics side of this." Nic gives it in the podcast every week and it's always sucking up to Liz

ClockworkDolly said:
Somebody really ought to explain that feeding a dog human food, whether organic or not, is not great for them. Knowing her, it is bound to be vegetarian too. Dogs are carnivores, they need meat, no matter what claptrap Jones has convinced herself to believe.

Poor Teddy, how long before he becomes another victim of one of her other neurotic dogs. She blames the farmer for Gracie’s problems, saying Gracie’s Mother passed the fear onto her puppies. Well if that’s the case, then neurotic Liz Jones can’t be doing her animals any favours.
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In that article a week or so ago she wrote about giving them "vegan dog food"

When Liz was still with David she often wrote about shouting at him, it's likely the dogs were around for much of that and I doubt it made them any less "nervous". It turns my stomach the way she always justifies it with "they're NERVOUS!" All her pets are always "nervous" all the time and that is not normal, rescue animals or not
 
Really glad that there are loads of comments reminding her that she did indeed leave the dogs in a hot car while she went for a spa day, even naming the establishment she was at. Also all the comments about the human food and total lack of training, and yes it is exactly all the things we were saying a couple of weeks ago..so bring it on, I stand by everything I've said the proof is in all of your own words, printed, weekly in a national newspaper. As for apparently winning a case against Hearing Dogs for the deaf..err, don't think so and yet again, that can be quite easily checked.
 
shushablay said:
Really glad that there are loads of comments reminding her that she did indeed leave the dogs in a hot car while she went for a spa day, even naming the establishment she was at. Also all the comments about the human food and total lack of training, and yes it is exactly all the things we were saying a couple of weeks ago..so bring it on, I stand by everything I've said the proof is in all of your own words, printed, weekly in a national newspaper. As for apparently winning a case against Hearing Dogs for the deaf..err, don't think so and yet again, that can be quite easily checked.
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It seems that by "winning a case" she means a complaint against her wasn't fully upheld (technically she didn't state "Hearing Dog" in capitals which would indicate that they were qualified.) But the Mail still had to remove a photo from the article in question and add a short disclaimer

Hearing dogs are specially bred and trained from birth for this job. You can't get your own pet dog trained as one specifically because it's so specialised - whereas (for instance) if you have a physical disability and already have a dog, they can be trained and pass an exam as a qualified assistance dog. The thought of Liz's unruly collies being service dogs is laughable
 
and of course you have to actually be profoundly deaf to get one, how the heck would barking alert her to a fire alarm...you can't magically hear barking but not the fire alarm. In fact HDDP dogs will alert you in a very calm way, the last thing you need in the event of a potentially life threatening fire situation is a bunch of rowdy dogs creating chaos, she's so stupid.
 
shushablay said:
and of course you have to actually be profoundly deaf to get one, how the heck would barking alert her to a fire alarm...you can't magically hear barking but not the fire alarm. In fact HDDP dogs will alert you in a very calm way, the last thing you need in the event of a potentially life threatening fire situation is a bunch of rowdy dogs creating chaos, she's so stupid.
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The PCC report said that a "canine behaviour expert" trained Liz's dogs to help her - well shouldn't that "expert" know that training them to bark in that situation would not be a good idea? Not to mention Liz claims they are so traumatised that they won't obey even simple commands, so how does she trust them to be reliable?
 
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