Lauren Goodger #94 She's got arms like Biffa Bacon's mum out of Viz.

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Charlie bit back. scrunchies I think we have a tit for tat going in between .5 and microwave seller
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There seems to be some confusion as to what BYG can bring to a relationship where they pay all the bills. I think you’re all forgetting that:

• She is an excellent cook - obviously she’s so busy and exhausted being a full-time mum, BAFTA award winning celebrity, model, entrepreneur and role model she doesn’t usually have time to cook herself, but if you want roast potatoes that are 10% potato and 90% saturated fat then look no further.
• On a food note she is able to grift any takeaway you fancy but has particularly strong links with the local Caribbean place, and gets a Christmas card from the Indian takeaway.
• She’s a Virgo perfectionist so whilst she’s unable to actually lift a finger to clean or even tidy her own home, she does recognise it needs cleaning and tidying and will find some mug to do this for her - even if it’s cleaning tit off her sofa, or tidying her child’s toys.
• She will be happy to dress up in an assortment of gifted lingerie. You just need to overlook it is far too small and viewing it in the flesh may leave you mentally scarred.
• She keeps her car very clean.

I think you’ll see that this is perfect housewife material.
 
I was not ready to see that exploding belly button. Please god let me block that out

The useless waster should realise that cleaners are employed to….clean. She’s already had organiser services more than once. For free. They are the ones who are paid to tidy up. I’d rather die than have someone clean up or clear up after me. No offence to anyone who does but it would be wasted on me. I’m the type who would clean before the cleaner would be due to come round.
 
Silly-old-Slapper said:
DM got an article about the hernia, accompanied ofc with posing pouting pics of our BYG on the landing. Quite a few have mentioned the lock on the outside of one of the doors (like we Scrunchies noticed weeks ago) it's quite high up on the door. As if she didn't want a little person going in there and seeing something she shouldn't 😒
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The comments on the dm never fail to amuse me! She gets absolutely rinsed! 🤣
 
annabelle_bronstein said:
Let me guess, she thinks Andrew Tate is a really great guy 😔
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She really used to repost some of his quotes back when he was riding the ‘traditional women’ wave. This was around the same time she reposted that story from some ‘researcher’ who claimed sun beds cure cancer… Or the Mesopotamian tribe eating THIS ONE FRUIT and lived to 180… those were the days…


Speaking of better days, I completely missed this gawjus 80s themed shoot in the David Lloyd car park!

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Her child is learning to be her.
Don’t tidy up after yourself, someone else will do it and you get your toe nails painted- you deserve it. I noticed in that clip the nail lady asked Lasagna a question or something that a please or thank you would have suited and Lasagna didn’t say it. Fatty didn’t prompt it either. She’s raising a mini her, which is a real shame for society,
Is this super cleaner outside of her regular cleaner?! For someone who claims to be ‘obsessed’ with having things clean and tidy, in place, smelling fresh, she is the dirtiest, untidy, greasiest person with her home, cooking habits, sex worker life.
As for her memes about women’s roles etc, Im calling it now, BYG won’t be in a long term relationship again. Maybe dating, maybe someone around for a few months/a year, but there won’t be a marriage or anything long term.
 
fuelledonmagicstars said:
Her child is learning to be her.
Don’t tidy up after yourself, someone else will do it and you get your toe nails painted- you deserve it. I noticed in that clip the nail lady asked Lasagna a question or something that a please or thank you would have suited and Lasagna didn’t say it. Fatty didn’t prompt it either. She’s raising a mini her, which is a real shame for society,
Is this super cleaner outside of her regular cleaner?! For someone who claims to be ‘obsessed’ with having things clean and tidy, in place, smelling fresh, she is the dirtiest, untidy, greasiest person with her home, cooking habits, sex worker life.
As for her memes about women’s roles etc, Im calling it now, BYG won’t be in a long term relationship again. Maybe dating, maybe someone around for a few months/a year, but there won’t be a marriage or anything long term.
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Remember the video a year or so ago where they were in a shop and LaWhatever was chucking toys onto the ground and her dumb mother just let her and didn’t even pick them up or say no don’t do that.
 
Sunnydaze101 said:
Remember the video a year or so ago where they were in a shop and LaWhatever was chucking toys onto the ground and her dumb mother just let her and didn’t even pick them up or say no don’t do that.
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but according to BYG and her ‘messages’ she is raising such a angel, she should be so proud. I call bullshit. Not Lasagna’s fault but she hasn’t has the teaching or role model
 
I really hope she doesn't use LaStuckinthemiddle as a weapon against .5. She strikes me as the type to use parental alienation to stop him seeing his daughter. It's more common than people realise, it happened to someone in my family & they never saw their son again as he was poisoned against his dad. It's heartbreaking & very cruel for both parent & child. Chas seems like a loving dad & puts his daughter first, I really hope he does get his weekends back with her.
 
Mydog said:
What is she saying ? She never makes any sense. It's her lack of punctuation that's the problem. She writes how she speaks. 7 year olds do it.
And the quote, what's that all about.
I'm an ex modern languages teacher ( though I never studied Laurenese - shame).
So, I'm a linguist and I judge you, BYG, for being unable to punctuate a sentence.
So there.
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Me too, as a retired teacher, her speeeelllling is atrowshush! Drives me nuts!
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Jujujulia95 said:
Exactly, it’s not hard to cook and arrange a decent meal, but it’s like she never even tries. Just chucks it on there…

I wonder what the rest of her personality is like, does she ever give 100% or just sees how far as little effort as possible gets her with everything? Because I’ve seen her advertise stuff like this as well, and when not even a paycheque can motivate you to make an effort, what will?
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So as a full time working, widowed , single mum, I coped with chemo, 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy and then surgery (before more surgery on 5 other occasions- but that was only for a broken back, replacement elbow and a double knee stage 3 replacement).

I will admit I did take time off work as I don't think teaching and having open brain surgery is possible (unless you're a med student lol).

But OMG imagine how hard it must be for a single mum (with dad actively in the picture), who doesn't work, grifts freebies all the time, gets free nursery care etc to actually have a simple 1 day out patient surgery?
 
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Momohawk said:
Me too, as a retired teacher, her speeeelllling is atrowshush! Drives me nuts!
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So as a full time working, widowed , single mum, I coped with chemo, 6 weeks of daily radiotherapy and then surgery (before more surgery on 5 other occasions- but that was only for a broken back, replacement elbow and a double knee stage 3 replacement).

I will admit I did take time off work as I don't think teaching and having open brain surgery is possible (unless you're a med student lol).

But OMG imagine how hard it must be for a single mum (with dad actively in the picture), who doesn't work, grifts freebies all the time, gets free nursery care etc to actually have a simple 1 day out patient surgery?
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You all good now?
 
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