Hey trolls
Well done to
@spookydooky for the winning thread title. After what we have been seeing recently, this thread title says it all!
Just gonna do us all a quick recap of the last thread seeing as our truffle tits is in her Taylor Swift era, so we're going to be doing a round up on all her latest eras together
CONTENT BABY ERA
Now, whether we where saying it or we where thinking it, I'd say we've been proven right here and this baby was born purely for Instagram. There seems to be a lack of connection between Kate and the baby, displayed multiple times on the last thread by her slap dash ways of caring for her
And can i just answer this troll here ...
@Dougiedolls we got it wrong! Tradesmen, nail techs, the chimney sweep and the goldfish next door can all hold Berry. What Kate clearly meant was SHE would not be holding her anymore
Play time is spent on the edge of the kitchen counter and feeding time is spent anywhere other than her mother's arms
And let's not forget, this is the baby who has been in and out of hospital for 'days' at a time on all kinds of machines
I do believe it was touch and go at one point but Paramedic John appeared from nowhere as swiftly (but not as deadly) as one of Truffs farts and saved the day. Well done that man
And mere days after Berry being discharged from hospital yet again, here she is desperately trying to feed while her dumb
duck of a mother chats
tit into her phone about all the plans she has for herself because clearly the baby content isn't working with her being the 2nd baby and people just not giving a
tit. We are just not seeing a connection. No bonding, no touch, no eye contact. I mean, nothing says you're regretting your life choices quite like a pissed up review of baby items
The fact that during this reel it is broad daylight and she is in charge of 2 young children whilst not being able to string a sentence together (even more than usual), gurning and slurring her words... Like, are you OK Truff? I'd either lay off the prosecco or go get your meds looked at because this is concerning!
MUNCHAUSEN ERA
So Dee Dee Blanchard went with the baby to see the GP and during 5 minute consultation was instructed to give up the breastfeeding
she never did and just said she did for content by an actual medical professional. What we think has really happened, is Daisy the cow has just said that because she's fed up of whipping her clothes off and burying the baby's head in her stinking arm pit for pics for the gram
Now she's jumped on the CMPA train despite her child not having the symptoms of a milk allergy. The poor thing is just trying her best to survive in a house full of thick twats with not a brain cell between them
Sometimes social media can be really helpful as evidenced when some followers messaged her after watching a horrifying reel of her not even cleaning her baby's bottles correctly
But rather than take it back to basics and get rid of all that gifted shite she uses to prepare bottles of formula, she's sticking with the allergy scenario. Even gone as far as booking a private allergy test (ordered a jarg one off some dodgy site on Google) that tests for allergies to citrus, egg, fish etc all for a kid who is 4 weeks old and only drinks bloody formula
but our super mum has to show that she is the best mum ever, much better than all us plebs who go down the route with dieticians and actual doctors
But, us pessimistic trolls see all this allergy
tit as drumming up interaction on her Instagram because she's constantly asking the advice of kimberley from skem yet is loathe to take the advice of the professionals... is that because what they're saying doesn't fit her agenda?
And let's not forget the self diagnosed after 2 days PTSD .....
So we are seeing some quite concerning behaviours all for her desperation to be validated by faceless strangers on the internet
Well
@bbbbbbb123 she'll jib the allergy thing off once a new fad comes along
let's hope the new craze involves being a hands on and present parent
GLOW UP ERA
So in between all Baz's hospital admissions, 4 weeks post C section sees Kate acting like a total lunatic with multiple treatments. The most bizarre of them being a massage on her recently sliced and diced abdomen to manipulate fat cells or some
tit. But it wasn't her tummy that grabbed our attention when pics where posted ......
Some of us wondered where the excess fat could have gone...
Our
@Tomi2015 spotted her in the wild
And our resident artist
@Glittercandy12 gave the trolls what they needed
She doesn't edit or filter anymore hunnays
Who needs 2 hands anyway?
Due to all this weight loss caused by some gunt slapping by some tit probably trained by Laceys, sexy time is now on the cards for her and little legs
Trolls being understandably horrified and taking the pork joint off this Tuesdays menu
We've also had mama June attending filler and botox appointments in between her crippling PTSD and emergency hospital admissions for the baby. At first she was a bit coy about what she'd had done and asked if we could guess
Unfortunately not
@Rothsey because surely a lobotomy would improve her spelling?
Also, the soft
bleep went and had a medical grade facial mere days after botox and fillers when a lobotomy instead would have done wonders for the prick
And let's not forget this absolute disaster of a jacket
UTTER UTTER CRIME AGAINST FASHUN
MOM OF 2 ERA
Life has been crazy for the Von Trapps of Upton since the arrival of Baby Berry. But we're happy to see that inbetween all the medical emergencies, mommy glow ups and chatting
tit to her phone, she still had time to book in a bullshit photoshoot
Don't even get me started on how the idiot photographer obviously attending the same school of spelling as truff
Considering Kate shares every single thing about her life, including dodgy reflective pictures like this .....
As I was saying
We were surprised that there was no mention of where Olive will be going to school in September as the school places where given out just recently
Maybe she's going to be attending somewhere more fitting... like somewhere to learn how to act like a normal human maybe?
Or maybe she won't be attending in September because she'll be too busy playing with all the LOL toys that where initially offered out for another child to receive
It was wholesome to see that even with a sick baby in tow, Kate still won't let Matt out of her sight. Wonder why?
We did ponder why doormatt wasn't in the bullshit photo shoot with all his girls
Despite all the raised eyebrows of us trolls....
We where heartened to see that Kate is grateful for what she gave up
But for the sake of transparency we do call on Chez who is 40 (likely 45 now) to come on and confirm that Kate gave away HER big salon
Thanks peps
And that's the end of the eras tour my trolls. I'll be back soon for more disbelief and fuckery to report on
In the meantime I'm off to Laceys to learn how to carry out a brain transplant over the course of 8 hours (minus lunch and fag breaks)