Jake Quickenden #113 He's so far in the closet he's found the Christmas wrapping paper!

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Omggg Polly has now moved on to a Love Islander from this year’s season. I bet she’s making more money off him than she ever did from Fakey!
 

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Vanilla Ice said:
Sorry tattlers here I go again 🤣🤣

Masterchef was a disaster you cannot deny
And all John wanted was to say bye bye
I cheated and lied like I usually do
Every dish I cooked was a load of goo
Next on my list was a visit to the NTA’S
All the time looking like a right old gay
Everyone on the carpet was all of a flutter
Whereas I looked like a right weird nutter
Wife at home with a weird bloated tum
Cooking and roasting our newby son
She wanted a girl but we tried our best
Shagging once a year in my fake Nike vest
Disappointed look all over her face
Potholes and spots all vying for space
All this time and I’m still a waste of space
Lorraine and loose women hardly a taste
Mortgage and bills waiting to be paid
Even the crap jobs are beginning to fade
Some say get a job and a decent wage
All I want is a twinkie and just to get laid
All my fake health woes roll into one
It’s fame I want but getting absolutely none
I’m dull and lazy hoping my phone will ring
But it’s only the camera that does its thing
Golden child is still not at school
And I’m 36 and still acting a fool
Trying to get noticed but I’m not even cool
I’m an absolute minger and a right old tool
Everyone thinks I’m boring as duck
I just think I’m just out of luck
Hoping and praying I will get my big break
But for now I will have to be just old Fake
Tattlers have me right down to a tea
They know before me and what do they see
Some old nobody and they are quite right
I even fucked up on my debut big fight
If only I paced myself I could have gone far
But now I have nothing but a crappy old car
I used to preach in my little pissy tub
All I do now is fart tit and occasionally blub
Flapz is scamming to anyone out there
As you can imagine we actually don’t care
Other people work hard for their dosh
All she wants is just to be like Mrs Posh
Not going to happen with no work insight
12 long years and the money is still tight
But we have poor Matt keeping us afloat
But now it’s time to end this extra long note

Till the next time folks 💕 Enjoy
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🤣 love this..absolutely brilliant! 👏👏👏
 
mollyann said:
At least 18 posts I reckon with desperate flaps showing her freaky stomach.bleeping hell woman get a life as who cares except you and your creep of a husband 🤢🤢Why does she think strangers are slightly interested in her pregnancy.Shallow stuck up cow with just nothing about her that I find appealing whatsoever.
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They both need to cover up, him with his shirt always off and now her with her stomach, no one wants to see you two, put it away! 🤢
 
(12/09) Sorry guys, been organising this bleeping vow renewal. 🤪

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She’s got an obsession with dupe bags but doesn’t she have designer bags 😜? I have a couple and wouldn’t dream of buying any dupes.
If somebody liked her jumper she could just say it’s an old one but no she has the time to trawl through the internet and find a similar one so clearly too much time on her hands. As for those jeans 🤢


CrazyBaldhead said:
(12/09) Sorry guys, been organising this bleeping vow renewal. 🤪

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As if she uses hair products that are over £50 a bottle 🤦🏻‍♀️ and if she does, it shows what a selfish witch she is, when both her kids (especially Leo) look such a mess all the time. Amazing how much money the pair of them will spend on their own hair/syrup, but won’t even get that child’s haircut 😡
Still waiting for his NTA post 🤭
 
CrazyBaldhead said:
Oh I missed this yesterday. So he actually had a bit of work on 12th September? I will have to reset the Unemployment Timer! 😂

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“The boys are here.” Bellend trying to show he has a bit of crumbs he calls work.
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DeniseRoyle said:
What a shame bro. We all know he's genuinely fuming too 😂
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They must have been thanking their lucky stars that he wasn’t there to join them in the dance routine. He would have ruined it and tried to hog the limelight. He’s a sad case pretending he isn’t gutted to be kicked off MC full stop!
 
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