Jack Monroe #75 Peekaboo

[HarderFaster]

Our supposed stickler for detail has also missed out the essential capital N of 'Nil' - proper nouns require capital letters, you dunce.

Without it, her beloved water of the Nile becomes... water of nothing.

There's a metaphor in there, somewhere.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

Our supposed stickler for detail has also missed out the essential capital N of 'Nil' - proper nouns require capital letters, you dunce.

Without it, her beloved water of the Nile becomes... water of nothing.

There's a metaphor in there, somewhere.

I mean, I’m here for the Jack shitchat. But also for this kind of education!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

As a stickler for detail she fairly changes/omits the details in her yarns a lot

 

[jenny2603]

Why are people asking what the colour looks like when they have Google at their bleeping fingertips?

We do and the first result Google throws up for me describes eau de nil as a pale duck egg blue.

All Jack has done here is illustrate that she is VERY FAMILIAR with the Fortnum & Mason colours. It’s not really on brand for someone who presents herself as some kind of impoverished Dickensian urchin, is it now?

She probably heard F&M being discussed in fancy houses when she was sweeping chimneys as a child.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Rinse them.

Dear Heart, you're an absolute saviour!

Now, If I've assumed correctly any liquid will do as it's all basically the same, yes?

 

[Yellowfairy]

Jack is the gift that keeps on giving. Her life is one big snark fest and keeps giving new material to snark on.

 

[NellieBoo]

Oh she's not starting on JKR is she? . Loading the gun for her flying monkeys to shoot the bullets. Bellend.

 

[Bugger13]

she saw Le Crueset for 2p in the charity shop.

 

[Cascara]

I adore Eau de Nil, and duck egg blue. They are absolutely not the same, but nor would I describe that Fortnums colour as either. True Eau de Nil is a gloriously deep sludgy green. Duck egg is bluer, but again can range through pale translucent blue (that I’d say should be more rightly called robin’s egg blue) to a deep turquoise. Fortnum’s is somewhere in between, if we’re talking Eau de Nil or duck egg, then it’s neither fish nor fowl nor good red herring! If I had to pick, I’d put the Fortnum’s colour closer to duck egg. And Jack Monroe is a show off Fanny.

 

[Scarletfever]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

 

[NellieBoo]

I'm currently Grunka-ing (the coven are being especially hilarious tonight) but just want to say I would be HERE for this. Imagine Jack regaling us with a wobbly-voiced, cartoon-filtered YouTube rendition of "I Rinsed a Bean" (to the tune of "I Dreamed a Dream")

Please, please don't give her ideas ☹. I couldn't bear it if she sullied 'Empty Chairs and Empty Tables' ☹.

 

[Cascara]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

let us be grateful she was only shook and not SHOOKETH!

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[NellieBoo]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

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Gosh. It's almost like a scene from Rachel's Holiday

 

[Alansbigplate]

'I want me own bungalow' tour

Hooooooooooooooooooooooot

 

[MrsOgre]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

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duck off Jack the toothache isn't anything to do with you being an ex-alcoholic. Anyway my pain is in my jaw and trumps yours so ner ner

 

[Alansbigplate]

Oh she's not starting on JKR is she? . Loading the gun for her flying monkeys to shoot the bullets. Bellend.

Finger on the button as ever she’s about a week too late the massive twit

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

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Lol the made up shite she spews! I thought it was like 97 days last week?

 

[Tabitha D]

Five hours sober now equates to an extra month in JackLand

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FFS. So we are back to ouchy mouth again. Give me strength.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

We had all this toothache stuff last year. Surely with her private medical care and 3 doctors on speed dial she can get her teeth sorted. She definitely wanged on about having dental appointments last year so didn't they x-ray and treat all problems/potential problems already? I'm sure drinking lots didn't help but she also clearly has a massive sweet tooth and personal hygiene issues so maybe let's not make it all about the alcohol which seems to be all you can talk about these days eh Jack?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

People are suggesting treatments for the toothache.

 

[Montrachet]

She has always had a 'type' then.

Squiggle

Eau de nil was much favoured by the late Queen Mother. Before she died, obvs.

Jack Monroe
Replying to
Squiggle

As were 50/50 Gin and Dubonnets for breakfast. I was slightly obsessed with her as a child, it's a long story

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P.S. Russell Brand is trending. I will be most upset if I don't wake up to a scathing essay, full of white hot class fury .... and Bear's accurate Pantone colour.