Jack Monroe #596 She's less a person and more a hole in the air

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CrackingOwlSanctuary said:
'I cooked a private dinner for Mary Portas' is peak Alan Partridge level bragging.
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Worse than that, cos it’s not even true!

At least Alan Partridge got given a dressing gown off Bill Oddie.
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AND he went to Gary Wilmot’s wedding. Poor guest can’t even manage to make it as far as a wedding of her own.
 
Never would have guest said:
Surely if a job you had, called you and told you not to come back, the first thing you would ask is "why"?
So how does she not know?
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Years ago now, I was passing a craft shop. There was a young woman pacing up and down outside holding a crudely made placard which stated that said shop had sacked her.

I passed by several times that day and each time she was nattering away on her phone. On one occasion I heard her say "They said I was spending too much time on my phone! Me! Do I spend all day on the phone?"
 
Valiofthedolls said:
For two years once they let her loose in July 2013 until they finally dropped her food column in Spring 2015 they had her in there more than once a week.

You can see that as her bylines diminished in the years after they dropped her dreadful food column (which she was using to childishly troll the readers before they finally got rid of it) her minimal bylines largely coincide with her making some nonsensical pronouncement or other: I AM Daniel Blake! I have autistic superpowers! I gave up meat (for a week) and CHANGED MY LIFE! I gave up alcohol (for an week) and CHANGED MY LIFE! I can’t open my own front door! I’m creating my own PRICE INDEX! etc etc etc…
”I’ve SPITE named this recipe”View attachment 3298811 qView attachment 3298810 q
View attachment 3298807 qView attachment 3298808 q“oil is oil, now GET FUCKED”View attachment 3298825 qView attachment 3298809 q
ETA: “I am going to lie that I DON’T GET PAID, now GET FUCKED!”View attachment 3298822 qView attachment 3298823 q
(different squig) View attachment 3298828 q
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are you sure?
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(screenshot. @Silver Linings )
 
CabalofBolorneaise said:
I want to know in what world a journalist or whoever else at the Guard is worried enough about her that they ended up phoning her ex (presumably LJC), hear her say everyone was worried she’d relapsed but then carry on with the interview late into the night anyway.

The entire set up makes zero sense to me. Her behaviour was appalling, the Guardian’s behaviour was appalling, her agents behaviour was appalling and how the duck didn’t the Guardian just tell her to do one after she’d messed them around, she’s not that fab of an interviewee scoop surely, not like she’s an actual celeb or in the middle of a political scandal or something.
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Totally this. I mean it’s not as if they were interviewing Ozzy Osbourne. The fact they’d chosen to feature her with a kind of mea culpa come back interview I’d have thought involved a lot of emailed convos re timings. She’d obvs be at the heart of that. I mean she really really needed this. in typical Jack style she totally fucked it up. I can’t say whether she was pissed asleep in bed or thought let’s do a sneaky let them worry about me on the day. either I’ll advised. As for the Guardian, they’d likely have some biggish photo interviews on the peg they could use if they felt they shouldn’t feature someone who was clearly barking.
 
CabalofBolorneaise said:
I want to know in what world a journalist or whoever else at the Guard is worried enough about her that they ended up phoning her ex (presumably LJC), hear her say everyone was worried she’d relapsed but then carry on with the interview late into the night anyway.

The entire set up makes zero sense to me. Her behaviour was appalling, the Guardian’s behaviour was appalling, her agents behaviour was appalling and how the duck didn’t the Guardian just tell her to do one after she’d messed them around, she’s not that fab of an interviewee scoop surely, not like she’s an actual celeb or in the middle of a political scandal or something.
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Guardian -probably because they had already booked the studio time and thought it was easier than finding something to fill the space cancelling would have left.

Besides Shatters will have written all the questions (and probably most of the interview.)

Phoning the ex- Jack probably gave her number as 'emergency contact details otherwise, why not her parents who live a lot closer? Stinks of attention -seeking, Jack was probably hugging herself in glee as she sat listing to the doorbell and phones as she imagined the concern and worry she was causing.
 
FrumpyCat said:
Guardian -probably because they had already booked the studio time and thought it was easier than finding something to fill the space cancelling would have left.

Besides Shatters will have written all the questions (and probably most of the interview.)

Phoning the ex- Jack probably gave her number as 'emergency contact details otherwise, why not her parents who live a lot closer? Stinks of attention -seeking, Jack was probably hugging herself in glee as she sat listing to the doorbell and phones as she imagined the concern and worry she was causing.
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They presumably had to pay more for the studio though as Shatters mentioned it went on longer, and his time would have also cost them more. Plus they were lucky they did get something usable out of her - I can’t imagine in most scenarios where someone is hours late and turns up claiming they cried all the way and everyone around them thought they were relapsing they’d get a usable interview.

If LJC was still the contact and engaged, more fool her. I’d have been “call her parents, duck off”.

Plus while Jack was more than likely lying, the optics of still continuing with the interview are not great, very tabloid taking advantage vibes - and they printed all the crying and addiction stuff happily as if it was gospel truth so presumably they believed it. If Shatters had planned a takedown (he clearly didn’t and believed her and doesn’t think the background lies are a big deal per his own “why I wrote it”) it would have been a masterstroke from Jack tbh - no way could he have done one when the set up was THAT.

ETA: I will always maintain Shat was very, very lucky that Jack went for the “he’s my bestie mate” line when that Lecturer tweeted about the issues with it and potential taking advantage. It could have ended very very badly for him if she’d not loved his article and the photos and gone “Yeah actually I feel like he took advantage of me…” Difficult for him to defend with “she was lying” when he printed it all without any sign he didn’t believe her.
 
With the talk about what a terrible cook she is, found myself wondering if she’s ever published an omelette recipe. Or even said “You’ve got the makings of a great omelette there” to one of the hashtagJackShackLickdownLardon simps.
Day One of catering college I think Gordon Ramsay says?
Anyway, couldn’t find anything except this corker.
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And also saw this. Once again I ask: what is the veg peel Xmas loaf actually made of?
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BeardyBap said:
With the talk about what a terrible cook she is, found myself wondering if she’s ever published an omelette recipe. Or even said “You’ve got the makings of a great omelette there” to one of the hashtagJackShackLickdownLardon simps.
Day One of catering college I think Gordon Ramsay says?
Anyway, couldn’t find anything except this corker.
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And also saw this. Once again I ask: what is the veg peel Xmas loaf actually made of?
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Yeah, this was never going to be the job for her. She can’t/wont do any of that. And it only pays £25k a year which isn’t going to keep her in sideboards.

Imagine getting to her age and never having been able to hold down a proper job.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Truly a mystery why, having had a mere 24 hours of her (mutually convenient) delightful company, the people at the coffee and local art and cake shop told her to never, ever again sully their premises with her presence.View attachment 3298847 q
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A Whistlestop Tour Of How To F**k Up Everything

I’m reluctant to use the term ‘living in the public eye’ because I’m not about to seal any deals with Hello magazine just yet, but when your blog gets in excess of 16,000 hits and strangers come up...
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Nobody likes someone who has to ask what to do, Jack *taps notes <checks sign>
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Mr Krabs said:
No bylines in 2023 but one terrible headline: https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/23867338.jack-monroes-currys-air-fryer-recipe-dangerous-claim/

Every head has an air fryer book nowadays and yet Our Jack managed to cock up a single collab. She didn’t even write new recipes. The entire chaos was incredible.
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Oh that headline would have been great as a you know what.
 
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