Jack Monroe #594 Professional victim seeks gleeful trolls for mutually beneficial relationship.

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witchofwestbyfleet

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Thread title by @Ms Biscuit, nominated by @nothanksbabes. You each win a collection of books by the professional crime novelist of your choice.

Recap! It's all go, go, go as guest has migrated to Bluesky and the LIGHTS ARE ON! We've had a montage of her greatest hits and the revelation that she's writing a crime novel so extreme she needs a burner phone for all the googling she's doing about how to dispose of a body. Written with the help of Big Choc who's IN THE COASTGUARD (read: volunteer for the RNLI.) She is VERY BUSY as she also has an important "hard deadline" at work involving forensic maths and data and stuff; but not too busy to be posting on Bluesky for hours. She's now promoting books she hasn't read and posting photos of Content-Lou with alt text she doesn't know how to use. Truly the snow is falling and the narc supply is rolling in, but storm clouds are gathering on the horizon as some of guest's detractors are there as well and already trying to hold her to account. And Trifle Defender has already blocked her.

Guest would also like the world to know that her beauty regime consists of "Coal Tar Soap, Old Spice, Brut, and Brylcreem" in honour of St Slumlord Granddad. Don't forget the 70+ lipsticks and Urban Decay palettes etc. She's returned to her "Greek and Irish roots" and has threatened us with more slop and blogging, which we know will thankfully never happen.

Wiki up on the pink button!
 
Absolutely hooting and fizzing that whilst Bluesky Bellend Jack has only blocked 12 people so far, 88 fraus in waiting have already blocked her.

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Well, that was like 2020 again when you couldn't have a piss & a sandwich without a new thread appearing.

1. Why do you wear Brut and Old Spice? Surely even the nasally challenged Monroe would feel nauseous.
2. Coal tar soap is well out (as noted by Lucky E) so does she mean pine tar? Wait till she discovers Dr Squatch and his manly soap aromas.
3. We need to talk about her Bluesky bio as it says 8 cook books. There are only 7, so is it a typo or a threat that one is due soon? It's a threat isn't it, more potent than Kim Jong Un or PooTin.
4. Waterstones in Liverpool, surely a spiritual home for her after going to Anfield once & being an author plus being full of middle class left wingers, has 1 of her books. That's Cooking BootLaces or whatever it was called. The copy of Grifty Kitchen has gone to the great pulper in the sky. Or did she mail it to Viv (RIP)?
5. You are all funny as heck and I'm so pleased we have new material.
6. I've found what she's been doing for months: launched a coffee brand.

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Now, do you want me to stop breathing? With the greatest respect, duck off x
 
KebabGirl said:
3. We need to talk about her Bluesky bio as it says 8 cook books. There are only 7, so is it a typo or a threat that one is due soon? It's a threat isn't it, more potent than Kim Jong Un or PooTin.
Click to expand...
She released two versions of Cooking on a Bootstrap. A grifted one where everyone paid well over the odds and was abused if they wondered why it took several years to receive it. And a regularly published one. Maybe she counts them as two? The first version was shoddily made.
 
Seaford Haggington said:
She released two versions of Cooking on a Bootstrap. A grifted one where everyone paid well over the odds and was abused if they wondered why it took several years to receive it. And a regularly published one. Maybe she counts them as two? The first version was shoddily made.
Click to expand...

When she was congratulating herself on the TERRIBLE Grifty Kitchen (while retconning her upbringing, naturally) she was describing it as her 7th book.

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So let’s get this right, guest. You’re tentatively getting there on a very long dark road
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But…you also went from the darkest depths to being gently loved back to life and health over three years ago? 🤷🏼‍♀️
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Well that’s all about as believable as the rest of the contradictory utter bollox you’ve been spouting for the past 12+ years so gak crack on, pal.
 
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