Jack Monroe #591 Oh god. It’s awake and “doing food”

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KebabGirl said:
4-4 which in restaurant parlance is 4-0 to us and 4-0 to them.
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Christ.
Who is she watching it with? Or just reading Twitter?
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What’s with the boogly eyes in the bleak and perpetual darkness? Is she tapping on her ancient Nokia in the cold and dark again?
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lilykestrel said:
I said cinema Jack made me want kickyball Jack back, but now kickyball Jack makes me want cinema Jack back
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Kicky ball Jack is one of the funniest Jack's ever.

I have no interest in football and I have no idea what she is going about, or which team she pretends to support, or if it is the men's or women's or is that ladies (as in doctors) kicky ball. but her sad little lists of names and attempts at bants are making me laugh up a lung.
 
rage naan said:
stop encouraging her, squigs

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I hate this. I hate Arsenal, I don't want to have to want them to win
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Amazeballs innit. The grifty one always such a povvo...no wifi. Even the cheapest NOW sports package is about £26 quid a month. Never mind the full spendy Sky sports package. Kickyball plastic Jack is excruciatingly cringe...
 
Am reading a Viz Top Tips book published in 2012 and…
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Jack Monroe, Daily Express, Christmas 2020
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and Jack Monroe, Grifty Kitchen, 2023. (The entire bleeping thing is interminable and idiotic to be fair.)

HOMEMADE MUESLI (Ve)
I did a lot of very nerdy, mathematical research for this recipe, because I wanted to recreate the best possible muesli for the lowest possible price. This included forensically dissecting both the cheapest supermarket brand and the most expensive high-street version, then noting down what their components were and in what quantities they appeared. I then scoured the shops looking for the cheapest versions of each of the ingredients, sorting them into their essential categories: oats, nuts or seeds, and dried fruits. Once I'd identified the cheapest items from each category, I fiddled with the quantities until I had a muesli that I was happy with. And then I realized that in the year that yawns between handing in my book manuscript to my publisher and it hitting the shelves, the prices of all of these ingredients are very likely to have changed, making my endeavour almost obsolete. But no matter, at the very least this muesli recipe exists as a snapshot into what the cheapest combination of these ingredients were in the spring of 2022, and I'm rather happy with it. Should any of the components skyrocket in price by the time you hold this book in your hands, do feel free to swap it out for something cheaper! On this note, I use salted nuts from the 'snack' section of the supermarket, as they are far cheaper than those in the fruit and veg or baking aisles, and simply soak them in cold water for an hour and pat them dry thoroughly before using. They do retain a little salty background hit, but I have to say, I rather enjoy that.

bleeping nut-rinsing charlatan.

Express ss @MancBee and VBI-obsolete Muesli @That Forensic Man
 
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