Jack Monroe #571 1-2 to us

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I'm not actually here said:
Damn, that's a song. What is it? Gonna drive me spare now.
Rinse hoop
Cook gloop
Poor people's money swoop
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secretsrsafe said:
Her posts are getting SO few likes. I love it!!!!!
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Valiofthedolls said:
Well, to the surprise of literally no one she’s LYING. Here it is in the water before I drained it, all swollen pallid and very very dead looking, like the underbelly of a sad sad fish that lived its life in darkness at the bottom of the deepest ocean, or a Jaws-mangled leg washed up on Amity Island after months at sea for Chief Brody to find.
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Here’s the before pic again. All the life and colour has just been leeched out
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The pan was surprisingly clear of caked up pasta when I drained it. View attachment 2913873 qBut oh though. It’s a sad and sorry sight. It’s sticky and slick and flobby and even more pallid looking out of the pan.
View attachment 2913874 qWhen I picked a piece up 👇🏻it just stuck to my finger, sort of flopping over it. I swear I did not deliberately make that sad face in it either. The texture is gluey and rubbery like those elastic bands that feel damp when they’re not. About 5 mins later I noticed it had LEFT a plaster of Paris-like residue on my nail.
View attachment 2913875 qAnd it’s sooooo slick and floury. I tasted a piece and it’s like eating old sweaty dough. 🤢
Perhaps it will thicken become edible in the microwave oven. Just couldn’t face even trying. I had to put it in the bin.
View attachment 2913876 qSo there you have it. Pallid, slick, doughy, sweaty, unpleasant, inedible DEAD pasta and yet another waste of money and food brought to you by that grifting twit and compulsive liar in Southend.
*all photographs taken by the light of the window (TM)
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Italians are forming a lynch mob. This is a crime against pasta. A capital offence.
 
Terrible said:
Grifter. Snifter. Weightlifter.
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Muscly iron pumping Jack, also January 2013
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Honorable mention also goes to…
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If she actively and deliberately attempted to make as much of a complete twit of herself as possible with her every single appearance literally everywhere across the internet, the NEWSPAPERS and the television, she couldn’t do it better than she already does while not even trying.

Effortlessly an insufferable twit for over a decade. Have a prize, Jack, you prize prick 🏆
 
My daughter’s primary school expected children to be dropped off and picked up until year 5, so aged 9, at which point they encouraged them to walk by themselves. I think this is fairly standard today. They certainly expected that by the end of year 6, so age 11, that where possible they should be able to get themselves to and from school because most of them would be walking or catching the bus or train for secondary.
No one does a school run for a 14 year old unless they’re driving them in or to the bus or train station or they have additional needs. We live very close to my daughter’s secondary school and sometimes I do some work there on the admin side. If I’m ever going in in the morning we agree to stagger our starts so she doesn’t have the embarrassment of walking in with her mum.
 
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