Jack Monroe #552 She's the cookery equivalent of termites

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Veronicaaa said:
Hi everyone, I haven't been keeping up with this thread at all, apologies - but I was just closing some of my tabs last night and came across this, which we've doubtless discussed before but I thought I'd remind you. This was published in the Guardian lol and a professional photographer took these photos double lol. Even her usual fan club in the comments can't help but go 'wtf'.

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https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the.../29/jack-monroe-pumpkin-sultana-scones-recipe
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You could knock someone out with one of those
 
Way beyond a “sodding” recipe, the very best (and definitely true) thing MULTIPLE readers have fictionally “asked for” is still…

IMG_9011.jpeg
“Hey Jack, while you’re there at the Soho Farmhouse, will you get in the shower fully clothed and nasally and loudly warble out a song in a bizarre (what you apparently believe to be) American accent, rendering said song virtually unrecognizable? In sepia? And will you lean against the wall for a bit before BURSTING upright into full voice while putting yourself slightly off camera? Oh, and will you make sure you leer up terrifyingly close to the camera at the end? Thankspaceyou for all that you do!!! Love you loads!!! You’re the best at EVERYTHING, Bootstrap!!! 👍🏻 “
 
I'm shocked all over again seeing her timeline with LJC.
It makes the grifting even more shameful and I'm angrier than I've ever been.

How does she know that someone "has asked"?
She's admitted that she doesn't read her emails or DMs and there's no evidence of requests in her Twitter mentions. The fantasist gobshite.
 
Early variation of one of those 'this recipe is great if you change everything about it' comments under that article:

"They look a bit heavy, maybe they need only one third wholemeal flour rather than a half. I'll try these, I've been looking for a pumpkin recipe that doesn't disappoint, this could be it."

Why why why why would you think that this is going to be any good when you have noticed they look shite & the likely reason for it??? Why wouldn't you instead find a recipe by a reliable food writer & use one of theirs that looks good & the recipe makes sense?????
 
corneliahosendove said:
Early variation of one of those 'this recipe is great if you change everything about it' comments under that article:

"They look a bit heavy, maybe they need only one third wholemeal flour rather than a half. I'll try these, I've been looking for a pumpkin recipe that doesn't disappoint, this could be it."

Why why why why would you think that this is going to be any good when you have noticed they look shite & the likely reason for it??? Why wouldn't you instead find a recipe by a reliable food writer & use one of theirs that looks good & the recipe makes sense?????
Click to expand...

Sometimes I wonder what the failed and rejected food-related creations looked like. Then I realise we are seeing them.
 
Florid Language said:
I'm shocked all over again seeing her timeline with LJC.
It makes the grifting even more shameful and I'm angrier than I've ever been.

How does she know that someone "has asked"?
She's admitted that she doesn't read her emails or DMs and there's no evidence of requests in her Twitter mentions. The fantasist gobshite.
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Can we please have Jack Monroe: The fantasist gobshite as thread title forever? It’s perfect.
 
DisgruntledGoat said:
Also worth noting that when Jack “clarified her timeline” after the Shattenstone piece in January she claimed that she didn’t break up with her partner until 2021. There’s a lot of murkiness around when she did and didn’t have a double income.
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Yes, I think we've previously mithered that the "bubble buddy" bullshit in late 2020 was in fact them rekindling their relationship for a time but Jack wanting to keep it quiet so she could carry on whinging about not being able to afford butter. Then they imploded altogether in Spring 2021 just before she disappeared for her "treatment."
 
Wooh said:
I had forgotten how inadvertently funny is Jack.

Wow, she is so bad at her thing
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She should have gone into parody cooking a la The Katering Show (see YouTube - it's old but still funny)
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Parody or real?
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Ugh. Not your kid, not your place to even think this tit.

Barely there ten minutes and criticising how an actually functional mother parents her own child.
 
Veronicaaa said:
Hi everyone, I haven't been keeping up with this thread at all, apologies - but I was just closing some of my tabs last night and came across this, which we've doubtless discussed before but I thought I'd remind you. This was published in the Guardian lol and a professional photographer took these photos double lol. Even her usual fan club in the comments can't help but go 'wtf'.

View attachment 2607128 q

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the.../29/jack-monroe-pumpkin-sultana-scones-recipe
Click to expand...
I reckon the photographer was trolling her- they could easily have shot the photo from a different angle and avoided showing their direness.
 
Veronicaaa said:
She uses 500g of flour to serve 4 in the pear and almond tart recipe :unsure:
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I just noticed that - it's a HUGE quantity of pastry. Much economical, wow. https://artisanfoodtrail.co.uk/blog/how-much-pastry-do-i-need/

A quick bit of actual maths
that amount of pastry adds up to nearly 4000 calories, for four people!
She's clearly never actually made this. No mention of what to do with leftover pastry. Ridiculous nonsense.
And don't get me started on those scones
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Way beyond a “sodding” recipe, the very best (and definitely true) thing MULTIPLE readers have fictionally “asked for” is still…

View attachment 2607285 q“Hey Jack, while you’re there at the Soho Farmhouse, will you get in the shower fully clothed and nasally and loudly warble out a song in a bizarre (what you apparently believe to be) American accent, rendering said song virtually unrecognizable? In sepia? And will you lean against the wall for a bit before BURSTING upright into full voice while putting yourself slightly off camera? Oh, and will you make sure you leer up terrifyingly close to the camera at the end? Thankspaceyou for all that you do!!! Love you loads!!! You’re the best at EVERYTHING, Bootstrap!!! 👍🏻 “
Click to expand...
Argh argh she does that every single SODDING time she sings.
The frail, faltering, whispery, crumpled start. Then emboldened by the sheer beauty and wonder of her voice she stands straight and nasally loudly honks it out. It is so bleeping irritating and rehearsed 😂
 
MavisBeacon said:
I just noticed that - it's a HUGE quantity of pastry. Much economical, wow. https://artisanfoodtrail.co.uk/blog/how-much-pastry-do-i-need/

A quick bit of actual maths
that amount of pastry adds up to nearly 4000 calories, for four people!
She's clearly never actually made this. No mention of what to do with leftover pastry. Ridiculous nonsense.
And don't get me started on those scones
Click to expand...
As people point out in the comments too, ripe pears cooked for 30 minutes will turn to absolute mush. And rolling the pastry out to just under 1cm thick is going to be horrible with it on the top and bottom. A big thick slab of pastry which is going to be raw in the middle with a filling of pear slop.

I never read any of her recipes before joining the canal and I’m still gobsmacked the Guardian paid up for coming up with this tit week after week
 
During my Sunday morning Radio 4 listening, it's been amusing to hear an Archers character proposing some maverick new recipes for the Ambridge tea room. Cauliflower eclairs and kale croissants anyone?

Could it be possible that the Archers writing team are trolling Jack?

Then, the Food Programme did a lovely round-up of the year in cookbooks, Jack is neither interviewed for her take on this, nor is there any mention of her Opus Magnificus that came out in January and surely set a benchmark for all other books to follow? Nope. Plus, the juicy factoid that the air fryer is the appliance of the year and Poppy O'Toole's air fryer book is the bible.

Ignominy: word of the year for Jack.
 
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