Jack Monroe #550 It was never going to be anything better than okay

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Did she write this?

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I need some urgent help, you horrible trolls!
It’s freezing in my mostly basement flat!
But, but but I can’t follow Guest’s disgusting tips as I don’t have any high ceilings or huge windows! And only one room has hardwood floors! The others have fancy fancy (actually shity and cheap) carpets!
I’m sat here in shorts and a vest top as clearly a jumper isn’t relevant, I’m going to have to lure someone in and burn them in a Pagan ritual.
But what slop should I use to lure them? Please Guest I need your help! @bootstraptwat @martinlewis @davidcameron
 
Jack:
When i was last in France (petit cochon on tour) I was walking on the Pas Probleme, where i stumbled across a little independent shop called Le Supermarche...
That "petit cochon on tour" was a weird thing to call herself.

I have no argument with her calling herself a pig mind. We have all seen the state of her nails, her hygiene routines (3 day tights and knickers anyone?), and who could forget the condition of every kitchen she's had. However I think the piggy description has a more sexual connotation, where she might be known for snuffling her face into her partners nether regions like a pig rooting out truffles (I now feel really nauseous and I'm glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet:sick:🤮).

As for the "on tour" bit, she had gone to America for a holiday. The "on tour" is just her tricksy wording to make people think she is taking her coolinary skills on a working tour of the country. Hanging on to the coattails of a sugar mama doesn't make a tour by my understanding of the term. It was a blagged holiday. And like all her holidays, one she went on without her son.
 
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I need some urgent help, you horrible trolls!
It’s freezing in my mostly basement flat!
But, but but I can’t follow Guest’s disgusting tips as I don’t have any high ceilings or huge windows! And only one room has hardwood floors! The others have fancy fancy (actually shity and cheap) carpets!
I’m sat here in shorts and a vest top as clearly a jumper isn’t relevant, I’m going to have to lure someone in and burn them in a Pagan ritual.
But what slop should I use to lure them? Please Guest I need your help! @bootstraptwat @martinlewis @davidcameron
You're wearing too many clothes for a start. This time of year all you need is a jaunty Santa hat, a strategically placed chair and a pair of fathomless shark eyes.
 
That "petit cochon on tour" was a weird thing to call herself.

I have no argument with her calling herself a pig mind. We have all seen the state of her nails, her hygiene routines (3 day tights and knickers anyone?), and who could forget the condition of every kitchen she's had. However I think the piggy description has a more sexual connotation, where she might be known for snuffling her face into her partners nether regions like a pig rooting out truffles (I now feel really nauseous and I'm glad I haven't eaten breakfast yet:sick:🤮).

As for the "on tour" bit, she had gone to America for a holiday. The "on tour" is just her tricksy wording to make people think she is taking her coolinary skills on a working tour of the country. Hanging on to the coattails of a sugar mama doesn't make a tour by my understanding of the term. It was a blagged holiday. And like all her holidays, one she went on without her son.
Petit Cochon was Leggy's nickname for her. The trip was just after she got dumped and booted out. The hashtag was almost certainly to prove to Leggy that she was living her best life ever.
 
Petit Cochon was Leggy's nickname for her. The trip was just after she got dumped and booted out. The hashtag was almost certainly to prove to Leggy that she was living her best life ever.
Bad enough to be posting about the holiday obviously to rub her ex's nose in it (sorry @MancBee ) but to use her intimate pet name in the posts is pathetic, juvenile, high-school behaviour. Was it her first dumping by any chance?
 
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