Jack Monroe #544 Expensive beige sideboards to match her expensively beige personality

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I'm not actually here said:
And on the back, it says: KNOH! No! No! Completed it, mate.
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So right. The law is an ass and plods along, arriving usually many days, weeks, years after it was needed, having stuck its hooves in many times en route.

I await the return of community justice. There were good reasons why communities developed means of outing, denigrating, humiliating and dealing with criminals and wrongdoers in their midst.

I would happily launch my entire compost heap at guset should she be put in the stocks. Obvs, then I'd go and pick it all up again, along with the tins of tomatoes etc, cos waste not, want not - a phrase I doubt guset understands.
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I'd gladly pay a local farmer to slurry spray guest in the town square*



*actually that might make the stinking scammer smell better, so the idea probably needs some refinement....
 
Double shocked she hasn’t waded in with a ridiculously over egged opinion on RB but then again it might raise the question of morally dubious liars raising money for very little online so maybe that’s why she’s swerved it. I mean, maybe it’s finally twigged her name is mud?

Or she could have been busy on her train driving course? WFK?
 
CrushedIcePlease said:
Yay for new thread, a quieter week for me so hoping to be able to keep up with you guys. Literally stop BREATHING at how fast this moves despite guest being on Xitter strike.

Question for a relative newbie - do The Sloppies include a category for best thread title of that year? There are some crackers. I also think the creation of guest (lower case g) needs an honourable mention as it’s just absolute gold.
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I love this idea and maybe it could replace the category of best slop since she only made one this year.
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Hold my beans said:
Her chaos performance is TERRIBLE
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Null points.
 
I finally summoned the nerve to listen to that Nihal Arthanayake thing she did during DKL. It’s given me a headache but it’s also very instructive as to why she’s not had offers of tv or radio work flooding her mailbox.

Shrieky, talking over people, terrible recipe suggestions, whining about what hard work everything about DKL is, laughing at her own “jokes” and oh my god the incessant sniffling, honking and cackling, shouting the word “FUN” over and over (presumably to convince someone somewhere idk). A truly unpleasant experience. Nihal battled through valiantly but the strain was showing through his professionalism by the end.

When one of your uses for jam is “use it like jam” you’ve ably demonstrated your limitations, you waste of airtime.
 
When tattle kept going down tonight I thought something exciting was happening and we were all breaking the servers.
I thought ' this is it, Jack has done the chaos to end all chaoi. Or perhaps Alice Evans has smashed Ioan Gruffudd's front door in with an axe like the shining'
Alas it seems like nothing has happened.
Do you all want me to DIE?
 
I used to be a regular on these threads (in fact that’s how I started in Tattle, way back at the start of lockdown), but have been mainly on Alice Evans threads lately. Just thought I’d pop back in to see if anything’s happening.
Re Jack: she really is done, isn’t she? Toast. There’s absolutely no coming back from this. She’s been lucky to get away with the massive grift for as long as she has (enabled by her powerful sponsors - thanks for nothing Nigella, Allegra, Louisa, Linda, etc.), but now she’s been effortlessly overtaken by many food bloggers much more talented than she is - which let’s face it is an incredibly low bar. Plus I’d be astonished if any publisher went anywhere near her after the complete fiasco that was her most recent “cookbook”.
If she’d done an immediate and heartfelt “mea culpa” after the Guardian exposé, then maybe she *might* have clawed back a teeny tiny little bit of work - but that was never going to happen, because she is a grandiose narcissistic and has zero self-awareness.
In her tiny brain, she is a supremely talented individual, she excels at everything she turns her hand to, she looks like Eva Green (😳??), everyone loves and envies her, she is always right and never wrong about anything.
IMO: it’s been a long time coming. Time to get a real job, Jack.
 
YerDa said:
I finally summoned the nerve to listen to that Nihal Arthanayake thing she did during DKL. It’s given me a headache but it’s also very instructive as to why she’s not had offers of tv or radio work flooding her mailbox.

Shrieky, talking over people, terrible recipe suggestions, whining about what hard work everything about DKL is, laughing at her own “jokes” and oh my god the incessant sniffling, honking and cackling, shouting the word “FUN” over and over (presumably to convince someone somewhere idk). A truly unpleasant experience. Nihal battled through valiantly but the strain was showing through his professionalism by the end.

When one of your uses for jam is “use it like jam” you’ve ably demonstrated your limitations, you waste of airtime.
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I've just listened too. So nasal it's uncomfortable to listen to. And bung it in a curry came up as well. I managed to get to the jellyfish and gave up
 
AlwightDallin said:
Double shocked she hasn’t waded in with a ridiculously over egged opinion on RB but then again it might raise the question of morally dubious liars raising money for very little online so maybe that’s why she’s swerved it. I mean, maybe it’s finally twigged her name is mud?

Or she could have been busy on her train driving course? WFK?
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There'll be soooo many drafts in her tweets. This silence will be killing her and being enforced. She's never learnt reasonable professional behaviour online, never learnt what should and shouldn't be said. Her online space has been a diary, a vindictive court, a platform for her to lash out and a place from which to throw out manipulative bait to those who've LEFT. She'll be bereft without it. The thought of her lurking and for every hope-jack's-ok comment seeing 10 using her as shorthand for scamming is funny af tho.
 
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