Jack Monroe #52 Am I awful and nobody has ever told me?

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Flumps said:
This is so bang on the nose that it made me do a little squeak. When I left my husband, everyone (except my mum, but let's not approach that horrible feeling I get when I think about that) said something to me that was basically a version of 'WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?' No one had any doubt why I'd left, without even knowing what went on behind closed doors, just how he behaved with me in public. He, on the other hand, was absolutely shocked and devastated. He couldn't understand it. He thought everything was great. He spent actual years thinking I would come back. I couldn't understand it at all at the time, how could he not see what an absolute tit show everything was? But of course, he wasn't thinking about me at all, just him, and he was quite happy with the way things were. The way he talked about our relationship was so strange to me, because it was nothing like the life I was leading.
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This was my experience too. Although people were suprised I’d done it, those close to me (except my mum who thought I should stay because me leaving upset her so much 😡) said that he was an hole to me and one of our kids. And that his favouritism of the other was painful.
He thought just taking me out for a nice meal was going to calm me down. No head. All those times I asked you to change were serious requests.
 
All the chat about heritage is really interesting, I love finding out where people are from, their background and so on. Just nosiness, I guess!

I agree that white, middle class Brits have the luxury of picking and choosing which culturally hip background they are going to have today - a, luxury that many, many people don't have.

Maybe Jack is gearing up for another trip "home"?
 
spirals said:
I'm so sorry you went through this moobelle, and i am glad things are better for you now. My mum is a narc too, so I relate v strongly.
I think jack's mum's posts give me an uncomfortable feeling for that reason. I see them as passive agressive and unpleasant, because that is what i expect from my own mum, whereas others may see them and feel bad for her, as their experience is that mums are loving.
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I see them as both, which makes sense because I have a hella complicated relationship with my mum, but totally see the pass-agg stuff in that one.

@Readingismyhobby - I so want them, but I have woken up with my sensible head on, and I know I cannot really afford them, which makes me sad. You'd contribute to my patreon though, guys, right? Guys? GUYS?
 
I live in Doc Martins in the winter and vans or adidas in the summer, including to work. I lean a little masculine and my former boss was a guy who leaned quite feminine - we often wore very similar shoes/clothes/glasses to the point where it became a running joke between us. I have a pair of vegan, purple patent DMs, which he was very jealous of as they didn't come in men's sizes. (Sadly the company got rid of him last year, and I miss him a lot).
 
Aquamarina said:
40, I’ll raise you with 42.😆
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Mine are 41
Is there some correlation between a larger than average foot size (and height I’m guessing), and being a Tattler?

I was surprised how many people here were in my age range (40s)

TriviaNewtonJohn said:
Amen. So bloody annoying.
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Yes 💯
duck off with your tiny sizes. Well. Not large enough sizes.
 
Bloody orange Hell said:
This was my experience too. Although people were suprised I’d done it, those close to me (except my mum who thought I should stay because me leaving upset her so much 😡) said that he was an hole to me and one of our kids. And that his favouritism of the other was painful.
He thought just taking me out for a nice meal was going to calm me down. No head. All those times I asked you to change were serious requests.
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Umm. Are you me?

Oh no, you can't be, I didn't get offered a meal out. I did get presents (returned) for 3 (yes THREE) wedding anniversaries after I'd left, mind you.
 
Flumps said:
I see them as both, which makes sense because I have a hella complicated relationship with my mum, but totally see the pass-agg stuff in that one.

@Readingismyhobby - I so want them, but I have woken up with my sensible head on, and I know I cannot really afford them, which makes me sad. You'd contribute to my patreon though, guys, right? Guys? GUYS?
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Set up an OnlyFans - I’m sure there’s a market for a Flump posing suggestively on premium sideboards
 
Oh, and it's just occurred to me that I cannot believe there has been so much footwear chat and I have not mentioned Havaianas yet. The cost per wear I get out of those babies (especially the flip flops with the strap round the back), is insane. I live in them as soon as it's vaguely warm enough to get away with it.
 
LavaFlake said:
This! Thank you, that's basically what my weird little brain was thinking but I couldn't get it into words. As a white person with a native english accent (no matter how 'rough' she says it is), she can pick up and discard the Greek identity whenever she wants. For BAME people who are first, second, third and beyond gen, they cannot do this. When my friends are told to go back to their own country they're like... I was born here? And so were my parents and grandparents?
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You've reminded me of an American review I read about a food show by an Australian chef called Kylie Kwong - a woman of Chinese heritage. They were critical of the fact that (on a trip about the food of Hong Kong), she was very open about the fact that the only language she speaks is English, and had her friend as a translator.

They couldn't understand why a 4th generation Australian born person didn't know Chinese - and yet we wouldn't think to wonder why someone of a 'white' background didn't know the language of their ancestors.
 
New here...lurked a while.....have like some been a fan in the past but the narrative started to unravel some time ago (before DKL) and has spiralled since then....was still trying to give the benefit of the doubt many times around the dealing with alcoholism and MH but the recent kitten debacle was a tipping point...the current highs and lows and Kanye-esque twitter meltdowns have left me half concerned half dubious....Then the "freshly baked lies" of the spread and change of identity/return to identity really suggest that either some very intense professional help is needed or as previously mentioned the inability to control the narrative means she needs to abandon it and crawl back to a safer space /reinvent it. Either way the last 8 months or so she has left a bad taste that gets increasingly more sour ....this place is certainly an eye opener when the pieces come together!
 
Bloody orange Hell said:
Preferable to being told you look like Susan Tully.
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Remember when her character Suzanne ( in Grange Hill) turned up to school in full on 80s make up and punky hair? I thought she was so cool! I loved her and Claire and so wanted to be like the girls in Grange Hill when I was younger. This probably means nothing to those of you under 45 sorry.) 😊
 
Flumps said:
Oh, and it's just occurred to me that I cannot believe there has been so much footwear chat and I have not mentioned Havaianas yet. The cost per wear I get out of those babies (especially the flip flops with the strap round the back), is insane. I live in them as soon as it's vaguely warm enough to get away with it.
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I cannot tell you the slight look of horror and confusion I got when I started talking about my cute, bright coloured thongs when I started living in the UK again. I forgot you call them flip flops, people thought I was talking about skimpy knickers 😳 😂
 
Bloody orange Hell said:
Mine are 41
Is there some correlation between a larger than average foot size (and height I’m guessing), and being a Tattler?

I was surprised how many people here were in my age range (40s)


Yes 💯
duck off with your tiny sizes. Well. Not large enough sizes.
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Possibly. I thought I might be one of the oldest at 46, but I’m obviously not. Middle-aged Tattlers assemble! ☄️
 
Shesaidwhat? said:
Could she change her name back, if she genuinely does feel she’s made a mistake?
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Yes, absolutely x The process is a bit confusing but easily done (though I’ve only been through it once). You can write your own deed poll or have one done by a lawyer for a fairly cheap price. Using the name is the important part so she’d have to change her bank details, passport, etc again. Which would be a hassle but it’s possible

Not sure if she had her name change enrolled and whether that would mean she’d have issues there but afaik that means nothing anyway, it just puts the change on record (optional)
 
Begborrowsteal said:
Honestly, I wish I could walk into a shop and pick up a pair of shoes and be able to try them on. Instead, i have to order online or whisper to the assistant for a size 9 from the mens section 😭😂 the few high street places that stock my size cheat and label their 9s as 42 😒 fuckers.
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I'm an irregular choice fan, they do 43s, hot chocolate shoes sizing is bizarre, you measure your feet, in a 40 in them, they do 9s! Next do a 9 (43). My feet are really wide as well, and those brands fit me.

42 used to be an 8, now lots of places list a 41 as an 8, sorry that's a 7.5 and they don't fit me! Makes me really angry that all they have in an 8 even is granny shoes or mens
 
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