Jack Monroe # 45 I’ll put it on the to do list

[Anonymous One]

I await her finding a pony behind the wisteria. It's only a matter of time.


I thought she'd been up to the postbox, the post office, Wilkos, tesco direct, Asda and the vets five billion elevnty times. But I probably just dreamt that.

She couldn’t possibly have done any of those things because she’s been very BUSY don’t you know. It doesn’t matter if you have photographic evidence that she was there I think you’ll still find that we’re just mithering on about stuff we know duck all about <insert gif of Jack flouncing off in a huff then realising she forgot something in the room, coming back then ‘forgetting’ to leave again>

 

[MancBee]

do parrots really live for 50+ years? That’s incredible.

Yes, 50-60 years, so not a responsibility to take on lightly. I wasn't aware of this either all those years ago. I was just a kid, lived near the docks in Salford and got her off a sailor mate of my dad.

 

[help i need some help!]

Yes, 50-60 years, so not a responsibility to take on lightly. I wasn't aware of this either all those years ago. I was just a kid, lived near the docks in Salford and got her off a sailor mate of my dad.

I'd love a parrot, or a cockatoo... they've got attitude.

 

[Fraggle]

Spoiler: Kitten again

I couldn’t bring myself to comment a lot on the previous thread as that poor kitten Situation has made me Very angry & depressed.

That poor little thing looks really ill, it not just the limb issues but her eyes. Have noticed on a lot of pics she is also displaying her 3rd eyelid which is a sign of illness. Her fur is also in awful condition, another indication of ill health. Poor appetite is also a sign of illness, pain and nausea.

The poor little mite is not thriving. Its heartbreaking to consider PTS, but it is even more heartbreaking seeing what the kitten is going through. Like other Fraus, I wish the RSPCA could do something about it, but they won’t. It’s completely selfish and disgusting she is keeping her alive just for her own selfish gains.

Do the right thing for the first time in your life, and think of the poor quality of life that kitten has instead of yourself for once FFS

Sorry Admin, I think after that a funny Gif is required.

 

[Silver Linings]

For recap purposes/new members of the coven -

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

 

[Effie22]

I'm not responding to the kitten stuff normally cos it's upsetting but this is a very good suggestion.

A tiny, poorly kitten needs a secure, safe space where they feel comfortable. Well all kittens need that but especially vulnerable ones.

Spoiler: Sad kitten tale, possibly triggering

When I was much younger I had a very young kitten that had to be put to sleep after having a horrible reaction to a routine injection. They were poorly for days and I was with them when they were put to sleep. It was incredibly traumatic and upsetting. This business with poor wee Pretzel is bringing it all back

Yes, fame has not been good for her, on a psychological level.

I’ve just looked at her IG account. If you go back exactly 1 year she was a totally different person. Calm, happy, normal! And some of the recipes were quite good too.
I hope she has a friend who can explain this to her, and support her in whatever recovery she needs or she is going to completely self destruct.

 

[Silver Linings]

A twitter hole I fell down. How can they recognise poverty porn yet not see she is no longer in poverty and is profiting from it?!

 

[Raker]

Just noticed, I've joined the VIP's. Yippee. Will this help with my membership application for The Groucho?

No, no @MancBee — you know the drill, no Groucho membership until you’ve told Jude Law to sit the duck down.

Sorry mate, them’s the rules...

 

[AmberSpyglass]

I’ve only had two kittens and they are still with us 17 years later and I’m absolutely no expert on any things feline but the kitten looks ill.


She looks weak and fragile, there’s no way it bounded up to her with the physical issues she has.

Sorry , I did click spoiler to hide the kitten post but clearly I didn’t do something right.

Apologies.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

great news @Flumps, so chuffed to hear your news

 

[ChickenPorridge]

View attachment 180565 qView attachment 180566 q
A twitter hole I fell down. How can they recognise poverty porn yet not see she is no longer in poverty and is profiting from it?!

She does a very good job of constantly hammering home the notion that she has poverty PTSD from that short period of time she disowned her fam, refused help (IMO) and was skint. That heart stopping moment when your card gets declined trying to pay for a few groceries or a beep sound that reminds you of the noise the electric meter made when it was running low are little nuggets she probably picked up from real, suffering people and uses them to become more credible. Giving her work away "for free" means she couldn't possibly be using this for personal gain. It's all one big manipulation. Unless of course she's trying on her Vivs and giving a wonderful anecdote to impress the blue tick brigade

 

[MancBee]

I just had a little look at her Twitter. She says that she did try to put up a camp bed next to the bath. Wouldn't an easier solution be to have the kitten in the bedroom with her? Why does everything she says sound improbable? Oh I know. Its because it is a load of bollocks.

 

[Raker]

Simplest solution usually the best....

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Special mention for @GothPrincess who is currently Grunkaing through thread #41. You can do it, GP

 

[Mycuppatea]

Someone could market the place on Rightmove with all the internal photos in recent months. The need to video a door mechanism is simply bizarre.

That was so incredibly bizarre. It could be used to illustrate the concept of "The lady doth protest too much, methinks".

 

[Suzeyq]

I just had a little look at her Twitter. She says that she did try to put up a camp next to the bath. Wouldn't an easier solution be to have the kitten in the bedroom with her? Why does everything she says sound improbable? Oh I know. Its because it is a load of bollocks.

I don't profess to know loads about kittens, I have only had two going back some years and to be honest went from the suggestions from what I was advised at the time, neither kitten slept in a bathroom, I had each in my room in a cardboard box with a blanket. Maybe I was advised wrong? However if I had a very ill kitten I certainly would not leave it to sleep alone.

Jack you are a bleep a bleeping selfish one. (sorry for any on here this offends x)

 

[ThePowderMonkey]

She’s been on a blocking spree and has blocked me on Instagram. I’ll never see the door locking mechanism. Gutted

 

[LucyPeach]

So pleased to hear your news @Flumps!

 

[Nottonightbabe]

For recap purposes/new members of the coven -

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Essentially she suggested she could get "all the way to the front door" didn't she
head.

She’s been on a blocking spree and has blocked me on Instagram. I’ll never see the door locking mechanism. Gutted

What did you do?

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Thanks all. We had to cut our walk shortish as other half has to speak to man about a dog (or woman about a job, that might be more like it), but it helped and now I am feeling more reasonable. Thank you all for your lovely kindness, the last few months have been rocky, it is a bleeping relief to get a bit of good news.

Not caught up but want to say I’m delighted for you @Flumps