Jack Monroe #422 Is there no beginning to her talents?

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Good morning loves. I've been up since 5am and spent that time trying to change the time on my collection of digital watches (I totally get Jacks impulse shopping & hoarding habits - I just use my own money, don't plead poverty or be vulgar & show off said possessions on sm)
Anyways... HATS! Also last thread, I think @Lazarus ? asked about blue tick engagement - I saw a screen shot of an interaction with Katie Piper, instigated by KP about the bloody vienetta, a casual comment which Jack then totally lost her chill about & starting licking Katie's face & suggesting a meet up & ice cream & podcast which KP has I think blanked. CRINGE.
Long term twitter followers: Did she ever seem to have genuine interactions with bluewankerstickers? Anyone decent outside the guardian human centipede? Has anyone obviously & visibly cut ties by unfollowing etc? Ta.
 
DavidZero said:
I still don’t understand why she doesn’t just fulfil her Patreon obligations. It doesn’t seem that hard, she could do it in an afternoon.
Or maybe she’s just had a complete mental breakdown and isn’t functioning anymore?
Click to expand...
There’s no way she could do it in an afternoon.
she hasn’t fulfilled any of her obligations in over 2 years.
take the £10 a month tier, for example.
Those on this tier should receive:
• Monthly website discount codes (the website doesn’t work and hasn’t worked this year)
• 3 limited edition art postcards per month
• a limited number of double sided, premium thickness, A5 (brand new) recipe cards with full colour photographs. On this tier, she promises that the payment is monthly but you’d receive the cards WEEKLY.

So for one person, for the past two years she’d need to
• fix and update her website, then send:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 72 postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness recipe cards, featuring brand new recipes she hasn’t published anywhere else and doesn’t plan to either.
 
Mme Coco said:
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Ding ding ding🔺!
The squig who is taking no prisoners on the bird app has her number. Pure speculation m’lud, but crack cocaine is a helluva drug. You can add lip ouchies to the circumstantial pile too.

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Why the duck is she always talking about making holes in herself?! Is she tired of traumatizing sideboards and now trying to traumatize people with trypophobia?!

There’s not even the remotest modicum of sense in it otherwise when at the same time as claiming to be turning herself into some sort of human Aero bar, she incessantly posts lip fillered thot shot pics of her eyefucking herself with her baps and/or clunge out which show nothing of the sort.

Also, why does she fall down the stairs so much? Has 80s reminiscing Jack spent too much time watching Lee Majors in The Fall Guy?

Note to manipulative claptrap Jack. TRY HARDER. Your stories make zero bleeping sense whatsoever you thieving oaf.

Edit: 🥕
 
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Thread title is amazing.

DavidZero said:
I still don’t understand why she doesn’t just fulfil her Patreon obligations. It doesn’t seem that hard, she could do it in an afternoon.
Or maybe she’s just had a complete mental breakdown and isn’t functioning anymore?
Click to expand...

I wonder this too. There are lots of things I don't understand about Jack's behaviour.

Lazarus said:
There’s no way she could do it in an afternoon.
she hasn’t fulfilled any of her obligations in over 2 years.
take the £10 a month tier, for example.
Those on this tier should receive:
• Monthly website discount codes (the website doesn’t work and hasn’t worked this year)
• 3 limited edition art postcards per month
• a limited number of double sided, premium thickness, A5 (brand new) recipe cards with full colour photographs. On this tier, she promises that the payment is monthly but you’d receive the cards WEEKLY.

So for one person, for the past two years she’d need to
• fix and update her website, then send:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 72 postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness recipe cards, featuring brand new recipes she hasn’t published anywhere else and doesn’t plan to either.
Click to expand...

When you put it like that it makes sense. 😬 😬
 
The viennetta posting makes me feel so embarrassed for her. You can tell she’s trying so hard to make it into ‘her thing’ but it’s so forced. It’s like someone giving themselves a nickname. You know how in your group of friends you might become known for being really into something and your friends start sending you stuff they see related to it as a joke because they associate it with you…she’s trying to do that, but without the friends.
 
glubby said:
The viennetta posting makes me feel so embarrassed for her. You can tell she’s trying so hard to make it into ‘her thing’ but it’s so forced. It’s like someone giving themselves a nickname. You know how in your group of friends you might become known for being really into something and your friends start sending you stuff they see related to it as a joke because they associate it with you…she’s trying to do that, but without the friends.
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It's so cringeworthy. All of her replies about it look so fake somehow. The hyper-excited comments make me want to pluck my eyes out
 
Valiofthedolls said:
View attachment 1689855 qView attachment 1689856 q

Why the duck is she always talking about making holes in herself?! Is she tired of traumatizing sideboards and now trying to traumatize people with trypophobia?!

There’s not even the remotest modicum of sense in it otherwise when at the same time as claiming to be turning herself into some sort of human Aero bar, she incessantly posts lip fillered thot shot pics of her eyefucking herself/with her baps and/or clunge out which show nothing of the sort.

Also, why does she fall down the stairs so much? Has 80s reminiscing Jack spent too much time watching Lee Majors in The Fall Guy?

Note to manipulate claptrap Jack. TRY HARDER. Your stories make zero bleeping sense whatsoever you thieving oaf.
Click to expand...
In my admittedly limited experience picking/gouging is a really worrying and extreme form of self harm which indicates severe MH issues. It's also a side effect of stimulant type drugs - speed, coke. I suspect Jack knows all of this very well. Make of it what you will.
 
glubby said:
The viennetta posting makes me feel so embarrassed for her. You can tell she’s trying so hard to make it into ‘her thing’ but it’s so forced. It’s like someone giving themselves a nickname. You know how in your group of friends you might become known for being really into something and your friends start sending you stuff they see related to it as a joke because they associate it with you…she’s trying to do that, but without the friends.
Click to expand...
Perfect explanation! Reminds me of a friend-of-a-friend who tried getting everyone to call him 'Bear' when he's a weedy little rat face with a jockey's physique.
 
Lazarus said:
There’s no way she could do it in an afternoon.
she hasn’t fulfilled any of her obligations in over 2 years.
take the £10 a month tier, for example.
Those on this tier should receive:
• Monthly website discount codes (the website doesn’t work and hasn’t worked this year)
• 3 limited edition art postcards per month
• a limited number of double sided, premium thickness, A5 (brand new) recipe cards with full colour photographs. On this tier, she promises that the payment is monthly but you’d receive the cards WEEKLY.

So for one person, for the past two years she’d need to
• fix and update her website, then send:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 72 postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness recipe cards, featuring brand new recipes she hasn’t published anywhere else and doesn’t plan to either.
Click to expand...
Quoting myself like a ninny, but the tiers are MENTAL!!
what on earth made her think this was realistic, and that £44 a month plus VAT was acceptable for a no mark like her? (£44 a month + VAT for 2yrs = £1,267.20)
Worse still is that people are paying it, and we’ve had proof of this.



so for one person in the £44 tier, to provide them with what they’ve paid for, she’d need to provide:

• fixing and updating her website, then sending:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 456 limited edition art postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness, A5 recipe cards with full colour photographs. These recipes will be brand new and not shared elsewhere.
• 24 prints or photographs by Jack or prints or illustrations by cool independent artists
• a signed copy of her book before release - last book release was May 2020; so assuming you had this, you’d be paying £1,144 to receive Thrifty Kitchen in December rather than January.
• one mounted, signed, framed photograph of food and 23 subsequent signed and mounted ones.

ETA: that’s 608 prints, photos and postcards and a book.
for one person.
 
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Lazarus said:
There’s no way she could do it in an afternoon.
she hasn’t fulfilled any of her obligations in over 2 years.
take the £10 a month tier, for example.
Those on this tier should receive:
• Monthly website discount codes (the website doesn’t work and hasn’t worked this year)
• 3 limited edition art postcards per month
• a limited number of double sided, premium thickness, A5 (brand new) recipe cards with full colour photographs. On this tier, she promises that the payment is monthly but you’d receive the cards WEEKLY.

So for one person, for the past two years she’d need to
• fix and update her website, then send:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 72 postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness recipe cards, featuring brand new recipes she hasn’t published anywhere else and doesn’t plan to either.
Click to expand...

As I've mithered here before, Jack set herself up to fail on Patreon right from the start with a totally unrealistic set of physical rewards priced too low to be fulfilled.as well as the cost of goods and postage, this stuff takes time to sort out and it's clear she doesn't value her own time and is no longer prepared to pay for anyone else to help her. It's disgraceful (and fraudulent...) that she didn't shut it down or switch to digital only rewards in a matter of months when it became clear to her she had fucked up and couldn't fulfill it. But I guess that designer tat ain't going to buy itself...

Eta: I LOVE MY HAT!
 
Katkat said:
Look at the likes on these. Softly, gently she’s being cancelled 🥰
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I'd love it if she doesn't get any takers for her shopping trip.
It's all so patronising anyway. Anyone who needs to budget can work it out for themselves. Supermarkets have to put the price per unit of weight on the shelves so we can compare real prices, and there's already tons of advice on websites such as MSE. Everyone already knows about meal planning, yellow sticker reductions and basic brands.
She isn't the shopping and budgeting guru she's trying to present herself as, and very few people are buying it now.
 
Morning! Jumping on here to say yay hats!
Also the Viennetta chat (had a right mare spelling Viennetta) as a way to shittly deflect from the mega grift reminds me of the Matt Lucas hypnotist sketch.
"Where's the Patreon content/charity money/VBI Jack?"
"Look into my eyes directly in my eyes 3,2,1 your under! There is no grift only varying flavours of Viennetta"
hypnotist.png
 
DavidZero said:
I still don’t understand why she doesn’t just fulfil her Patreon obligations. It doesn’t seem that hard, she could do it in an afternoon.
Or maybe she’s just had a complete mental breakdown and isn’t functioning anymore?
Click to expand...

Someone worked it out - it's thousands and thousands of postcards, prints and other stuff. She'd have to pay to print and post them, and she's almost certainly spent all the Patreon money on tat and so can't afford to complete her obligations in this regard. Plus if people suddenly got two years' worth of Patreon rewards on the doormat in one go, they might
  1. realise they've been paying for naff all for two years
  2. realise that the rewards are a load of rubbish
and cancel their subscription on the back of either or both 1. and 2.
 
Lazarus said:
Quoting myself like a ninny, but the tiers are MENTAL!!
what on earth made her think this was realistic, and that £44 a month plus VAT was acceptable for a no mark like her? (£44 a month + VAT for 2yrs = £1,267.20)
Worse still is that people are paying it, and we’ve had proof of this.



so for one person in the £44 tier, to provide them with what they’ve paid for, she’d need to provide:

• fixing and updating her website, then sending:
• 24 months of website discount codes
• 456 limited edition art postcards
• 104 double sided, premium thickness, A5 recipe cards with full colour photographs. These recipes will be brand new and not shared elsewhere.
• 24 prints or photographs by Jack or prints or illustrations by cool independent artists
• a signed copy of her book before release - last book release was May 2020; so assuming you had this, you’d be paying £1,144 to receive Thrifty Kitchen in December rather than January.
• one mounted, signed, framed photograph of food and 23 subsequent signed and mounted ones.
Click to expand...
Thank👾you for working that out :)

I feel like her patrons are probably glad they haven't had all that crap through their letterbox. (But they're still owed it! If only as penance for signing up).

I guess it ties in with Jack's "own all the things" obsession.
 
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