Jack Monroe #419 Get stuffed, I've got a Chesterfield Sofa

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Slight merail here- I had a mosquito in my bedroom last night, and as I was being EXHAUSTED by that irritating useless little fucker buzzing around, I decided to do some FORENSIC RESEARCH into that other irritating useless one.

Anyway, I learned some interesting things I did not know. TW for SA, r*pe, manipulative bullshit “lovemaking” and complete awfulness. Also long. Skip past if you’re having a nice Sunday and are just in the mood for fun thread frivolity, CHESTERFIELD SOFAS and counting Hellman’s. She’s not worth it.
On 25 July 2016, Jack created an ‘ask me anything’ thread on the site that dost not speak its name here on Tattle. I have screenies for all this which I will not post, but I now know the following. All in her own words so not misquoted by dastardly journalists. (Mods if I’m not allowed to directly quote her, please remove those parts, thank space you and sorry ❤ )

1. That ghastly tone deaf red dress/suit gender photoshoot in The Guardian? Jack directed it herself as a “deliberate expression of femininity and masculinity”

2. Jack ‘falls in love with women, sets up home with them, gets joint bank accounts, makes love all weekend’ (🤢), gets off with “the odd bloke every now and then”.

3. Jack CONFIRMED (without being asked this!) has been engaged three times at this point, and has a “burgeoning ring collection”.

4. While describing all the times she’s mistaken for a man, Jack states she gets “chatted up by gay men in sex shops” and TW:SA was sexually assaulted by one such man an adult store in London (Prowler), who “made a grab for her crotch and got VERY angry when there was nothing of note there”.

5. Jack woke up to TWENTY SEVEN whole google alerts that morning and would “give my kingdom not to be as gossiped about as I think I am”

6. TW sexual assault Jack has been “r*ped twice and sexually assaulted several times”. ‘One r*pe by a man, one by a woman, two sexual assaults by women’ Says this is a “pretty crap back catalogue” .

7. Breadcrumbs HEAVILY that she is intersex, saying she is “female enough to carry a child, male enough to have intimate physical abnormalities and an alarmingly high amount of testosterone”

8. ‘Turns down 95% of requests for interviews, never seeks them out, frequently makes her social media private, and left London to escape the bubble’. “There’s an awful lot I keep in”

9. Sets up an ask me anything, people ask her questions, she doesn’t like them, gets aggressive, it’s pointed out to her that she initiated the entire discussion about herself that did not need to even happen, responds stating that this perfectly LITERAL point “smacks of you were asking for it” and says it’s TW:SA “The kind of language we hear about, say miniskirts and walking home alone and , r*pists”

10. She sets this up and keeps responding at a time she has her little boy with her. In the middle of it they go to the cinema to watch the BFG. She’s still replying to the thread throughout the film, and still going the next day.

There’s more, some of it utterly appalling.I will not post more because I don’t want to derail the thread, and that’s more than enough to b getting along with. She is utterly objectionable and I do not believe she is capable of changing in any way. On the plus side she didn’t once claim abject poverty or destitution and didn’t ask everyone to send her lovely lovely cashos. So there’s that.
 

You can LITERALLY BUY THEM IN ICELAND SQUIG
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It says everything we need to know about Jack’s audience that not a single bleeping one of them shop in Iceland tbh.
 
Do you recon I could defrost frozen peas and then turn them into the ultimate mushy peas, Jack?!
DO NOT deign or dare to mention mushy peas to Jack, you wicked semi-translucent glass frau! WARNED.

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DO NOT deign or dare to mention mushy peas to Jack, you wicked semi-translucent glass frau! WARNED.

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Indicative of very poor character to drag mushy peas, the delicious little globs of green bliss
 
No idea but what's really horrifying is that looks like a third pair of Nike Air Max Vapormax 360s in black, £190 :eek:
That's £570 in that exact shoe alone 💸

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One could almost almost assume she has two identical pairs of every pair of her Nikes. Here she is explaining continuity to the plebs, and why acquisition is an absolute requirement of her job(s). IS THAT OK WITH YOU?

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One could almost almost assume she has two identical pairs of every pair of her Nikes. Here she is explaining continuity to the plebs, and why acquisition is an absolute requirement of her job(s). IS THAT OK WITH YOU?

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Lol what has she ever filmed that required multiple days of shooting in the same outfit? She’s so full of tit, it’s hilarious. As if anyone’s watching Nadiya Hussain’s show like “THAT’S A DIFFERENT BELT”.

Nobody is looking at the slightly different collar of one of your crappy denim shirts on a ten minute slot on This Morning, Jack. Too busy being horrified at whatever you’re calling food that day.
 
Lol what has she ever filmed that required multiple days of shooting in the same outfit? She’s so full of tit, it’s hilarious. As if anyone’s watching Nadiya Hussain’s show like “THAT’S A DIFFERENT BELT”.

Nobody is looking at the slightly different collar of one of your crappy denim shirts on a ten minute slot on This Morning, Jack. Too busy being horrified at whatever you’re calling food that day.

Laughing at the idea that each 2 minute slot on Lorraine took two days of filming 😂

If you work on a series, obvs you'd have wardrobe and makeup. And wouldn't need to buy any of it yourself. But she's never worked on a series.

So yet again, she's wrong. And yet again she's offering up excuses as to why she has to have so much stuff.
 
So she spent 💰💰💰 on ugly shoes? The mind truly boggles.
Speaking of spending 💰 from another angle, she’s got a flatscreen telly mounted on the bedroom wall, too. No wonder she took that pic of “SB’s room” facing the window (it’s def the bedroom, she’s sitting on the bed, I just cropped it a lot because it was a sad triggery pic)
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Edit: Oh, also, matching ceiling light fittings throughout her entire RENTED house that she took a decade to find (this was 2020 after LJC LEFT). So if we 🔺one, we just multiply by the number of rooms. I also RENT 🔺and can safely say that other than in a hurricane once where water started pouring through one, in the last decade my ceiling light fittings have never once “stressed me out”. Tit.

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