Jack Monroe #376 Schrödinger's Poor Person

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Hollaaa

Hollaaa

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Title suggested by @lucyq purloined from a thread ~elsewhere~.

Please add to this summary if you can, but Jack seems to be getting her comeuppance via an esteemed journo and documentary maker and is hoping if she ignores it and yomps off to Asda, it'll all go away.

Read the wiki via the pink button above for the backstory, in-jokes and dictionary, no swears in thread nominations pls.

Welcome to new lurkers, canal members, frauen and herren. Settle in and tell us what brought you here, we always like to hear, or just buckle up and enjoy the Monrollercoaster.
 
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bleeping HELL




Edit - sorry it's not a recap 😔
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Summary...
Jack's got a wavy mirror 🪞
Jack's got even more tit shoes that apparently appeared out of a puddle /gifted/ etc.
Jack's been to Scotland and made a prize pillock of herself...again.
A journalist Mr Matei asked a couple of questions ,she got her snark on and well ..JACKS FUCKED HERSELF 😂
It's glorious 🙌
Praise beans.
 
@Brian Butterfield shared this picture.

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Jack clearly has forgotten about old Hazza, there's a new Mr/Miss Big in Southend Tooooown.

(Jack, hi, you look a state. Such a state that I want to bury the hatchet and come dress you. The cropped tee would have looked great with the tartan traaazers shorts and those black trainers you have. Not this though, this looks awful on you. Sorry not sorry)
 
Orphan_Black said:
@Brian Butterfield shared this picture.

View attachment 1532022 q




Jack clearly has forgotten about old Hazza, there's a new Mr/Miss Big in Southend Tooooown.

(Jack, hi, you look a state. Such a state that I want to bury the hatchet and come dress you. The cropped tee would have looked great with the tartan traaazers shorts and those black trainers you have. Not this though, this looks awful on you. Sorry not sorry)
Click to expand...
Sorry Marm, did we miss something because we got too excited about the trainers?
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Most Recent Jack Development:
Scrappy Jack’s just yomping off to the supermarket dressed like the strange late 90s love child of one of B*Witched and a tit Appleton.
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She’s wearing Ronald McDonald’s brightly coloured shoes so she gets recognized, even in the ⛄ Especially since her distinctive tattoos seem to have morphed into a strange blur overnight.

She’s also carrying Elle Woods’ pencil and pad. Shame she has none of Elle’s sense, style, smarts or legal nous
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Go well, Jack! I’m dying for a performative post-shop picture with all your tins and bananas blu tacked to your table. Last time you did that, I one-upped you and blu tacked a banana to a flamingo. I’m ready for round 2. Ding ding ding!

*no flamingos were harmed in this triumph of good over highly problematic.
 
Don't give her a job Asda. You should have never let her run wild with the lies about value items being removed from the shelf.

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Edited to add I mean don't give her social media work, as obviously Jack would never want nore be capable of a normal job in Asda.
 
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