Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[jenny2603]

Oh no fraus. I just put my iPad down on the bed after having a really detailed call to my mortgage broker and when i returned it had accidentally contributed to this thread.

Mate, I don't even know what Tattle is. I just keep sitting on my mobile by mistake and the next thing you know, I'm some sort of VIP member.

 

[Day3TShirt]

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Ah of course!
Sober means ALL substances doesn't it? ❄

Trying to unscramble the word salad of the 2nd tweet so may have misread it, but my thoughts are quite obviously you neither could have nor did make a career ‘at a computer’, Jack. Hence the begging and claiming poverty. tit off.

 

[MsGilmore]

I blame the brambly mice! They must have got into Jack’s bag!

 

[Swisspea]

Did you have to show him any jewellery you owned?

No indeed you wise fraus were correct and the bling had no effect at all.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Maybe if she leaves her phone in her bag for long enough, it'll publish the VBI...

 

[Candytuft]

I can't breathe send oxygenos

 

[Sideboard Bob]

To the beaver people.

 

[WolfIrish]

These meetings are phone free - airplane mode / dnd minimum requirement.
I’m taking this too seriously. She’s a lying, grifting so and so.

Could the apparently social media free ex-OH be involved in those beaver escapades? (or whatever it was)

 

[Smeghead]

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Was the meeting held on a bouncy castle? How would she send that many from a bag that was (I presume) stationary.

 

[Orphan_Black]

@chocwaffle called it. Demon Jack possessing phones. It's happening.

 

[Boyo]

Didn't she also cook some delicate fish for about 4 hours in Edinburgh?

In its own defrosting juices iirc.

 

[MooBelle]

Maybe if she leaves her phone in her bag for long enough, it'll publish the VBI...

Can you post this again in a couple of pages or so please?
Because *thread title *

 

[Mrs Peel]

Jack, dear...

If you don't touch your iphone for a minute or two it automatically locks itself. It doesn't decide to send random bonkers tweets and gifs on your behalf.

Find another excuse that might be remotely convincing. And feed Content and Cooper - that's another thing that your phone won't do for you.

You are most welcome xxx

 

[kachoochoo]

it's all very

me aged 17, texting someone i absolutely meant to text

1st text- hey, you ok? what you up to tonight? xxx

2nd text- omg! so sorry, that was meant for someone else! so, what you doin? xxx

 

[OrigamiEyes]

Could she not just say ‘whilst I was out’?
Also are we to believe Jack’s phone was able to send coherent, correctly spelled words, and respond to tweets all whilst in her bag?

My thoughts exactly. I occasionally texted by mistake while my phone was in my pocket but it was always stuff like "!!!++eee123;", not coherent sentences. She's full of tit.

 

[hereforthereceipts]

Only time my phone has acted that bizarrely is when my screen has been smashed and I’m in denial (about more than my phone screen).

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Pocahontas]

Big whoop, you’ve still got two other freezers.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Maybe if she leaves her phone in her bag for long enough, it'll publish the VBI...

Put a million monkeys at a million typewriters and you’ll get a cookbook written faster than Jack.

 

[Smeghead]

This is worse than the time her arse ordered J1g.

Was she perhaps ordering another bag with her Go Tweet? It’s the new code to stop any Nancy Drews getting on the scent again. Makes you think.