Jack Monroe #363 I regret to inform you Jack Monroe has done another tweet

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Cookiecookie said:
Here you go lads. Nom nom
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I’m sorry, it’s a small point I know but in the method part, it states to put some of the veg in a bowl and cover with cling film. Why be so explicitly directive? Can’t you just say reserve some of the veg for later (I dunno the terminology, this ain’t my job, unlike Jack).

I don’t buy clingfilm if I can avoid it because it’s expensive and an unnecessary use of plastic. How about putting a plate on top of a bowl, or using a reusable Tupperware? Why clingfilm, Jack? She’s so thoughtless and weirdly prescriptive. Apologies, this just rankled me.

How could you boil your ingredients then simmer them for 20 minutes in 2 tbsp of tomato purée and a ‘splash of water’? Absolute bullshitting charlatan. She never cooks any of her recipes. I wouldn’t trust her to cook me a piece of toast in her non-existent toaster. bleeping fraud.

ETA: Cocked up a simple reply to a post due to slop induced aneurysm. Send calming vibe-os.
 
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Nottonightbabe said:
Jack on bake off would be amazing entertainment. She could make one of her beloved loaves of bread.

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I reeeally like bread, like I ~literally~ had a bagel at 5:30 this morning (new puppy has me keeping odd hours) but I would not touch a single one of those loaves. If someone gave me that as a gift I would assume they were symbolically ending our friendship.
 
I'm still grunking through the last thread so apologies if this has already been posted but the squiq that brought the blue tick's attention to Jack's haunted rings was very prominent on Twitter a while back. Their partner was the Twitter joke trial person and had a lot of blue tick support at the time. I had a quick look and they do still seem to have some quite big followers. Anyway like I said apologies if this has already been posted - I'm taking my meat sack back to the previous thread and may see you in real time one day.
 
Fruitjack said:
She’s far from the only recipe writer to do this but it really grates my mushrooms when they use original language for some ingredients but not others - why put dhaniya powder for coriander but not haldi for turmeric? Either write it using English words for ingredients or don’t. A common one is throwing in aloo, and don’t even get me started on saag which doesn’t even mean spinach.

It’s 03:30. Why am I like this???
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One of my kids won’t eat Spinach but she will eat Palak. Makes you think.

Morning canal. Just recovering from my special measures chaos yesterday.
 
Tin Can Crook said:
When I first started following her when she had that shitfit at Lee Anderson, I never really looked into her cooking. Then like two days later she threw an almighty tantrum and used the phrase "fish finger curry" (🤮) and I stopped following her for her views and started following for the drama. 😂
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"I'm not an attack animal by nature". Except when you create sock accounts and float around Twitter, looking for arguments to insert yourself into? Bullsh1tter.

Morning all ❤️
 
Griftymcgriftface said:
Am I the only person who thinks that Nigella/Ash. Fish finger bhorta sounds bleeping disgusting? Every time she posts it I feel sick
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I agreed, I did enjoy this comment about the recipe on Nigella's website

"We didn’t have fish fingers so substituted some roasted squash - and used cavalo nero kale instead of spinach. it was so tasty! Will be making this regularly" 😆
 
Jack Pal is there any chance you can hold off on being a bleep for a while as some of us are finding it hard to keep up because our busy working weeks don’t involve lounging on a hammock scrolling the internet.

I found this in my back garden yesterday. The face is rather sinister and I’m afraid that this is a wang free household.
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ScouseGobsheet said:
Why do all her loaves look tortured, like baked brains? What’s with all the misshapen folds & lumps? I mean, it’s bread. Even people who mess up the proving or cooking time can usually turn out a sort of smoothish dough ball. How can she manage to make even loaves look inedible? Is it her superpower to convert any set of ingredients into something you wouldn’t touch with a - hang on, I’ve just thought of her gnarly Egyptian-mummy hands kneading the dough 🤮🤮🤮 Well at least I realise now why they’re all such gruesome colours. I swear, these threads are better than Ozempic for killing my appetite dead.
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Last time these breads came up I said they reminded me of Boglins (loved these toys!).

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Nottonightbabe said:
Jack on bake off would be amazing entertainment. She could make one of her beloved loaves of bread.

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Saffron. The most expensive spice in the world. Per kilo, more expensive than gold. A beautiful flavour and should be the stand out flavour in a dish. Imagine being so poor you could bake saffron into a loaf and then mute out its flavour with coconut milk.
 
waffle maker said:
One of my kids won’t eat Spinach but she will eat Palak. Makes you think.

Morning canal. Just recovering from my special measures chaos yesterday.
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So many things here make me laugh.
The newest one is 'really makes you think' after quite random comments 😂
Also triangle after obviously unidentifiable things - 'went for a walk yesterday and saw a horse 🔺' makes me hootenfizz.
Easily pleased.

Anyway as you were dear ninnies. Happy Sunday.
 
Mrs Peel said:
My recap is very short.

Her pumble is about to get rumbled thanks to Molly, and she knows it.
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unpopular post from someone who's lurked here for ages. but that account should have left it as one viral thread & retired rather than go on with diminishing returns. the attachment thing here shows over 2000 people reading tattle life & the only people being reached now are probs people from tattle & not new. running an account purely to talk about jack & to repeat stuff from here & retweet several other accounts dedicated to talking about n trolling Jack isn't a good look and takes away from people discovering the viral thread. people that still insist jack is a saint will carry on nonetheless.
 
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