Jack Monroe #344 344%

[Valiofthedolls]

Didn’t she start a degree in nutrition? Announced it for clappos on Twitter, then never mentioned again.

They probably told her on the first day that rinsing beans and chucking gravy granules and/or Paxo stuffing mix into recipes “for flavour” has zero nutritional value whatsoever and she flounced, never to return.

That, and the fact that she knew more than every single person teaching the course did anyway, so she had nothing to learn from them.

 

[Fruitjack]

I love revisiting Jack’s insta

 

[moldwarp]

Jack's caught up with last thread.

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OK, so she changed her number (probably in a fit of spite) when Harold LEFT, and is now trying to tempt him back with a cute dog which displays her new phone number.

Not at all weird for a two times stalking victim.

 

[Gary Baldy]

I love revisiting Jack’s insta View attachment 1439098 q

You just sometimes forget how unhinged she really is don’t you? On another planet

 

[Powershower]

SHAN'T

Boring late night snack update...
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Why does she never take photos of the solids?

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I love revisiting Jack’s insta View attachment 1439098 q

Jack's hair looks fairly manageable, it's not 'thick, wild hair' at all. Unless it's her kumquat head or that poodle wig.

 

[colouredlines]

Jack's hair looks fairly manageable, it's not 'thick, wild hair' at all. Unless it's her kumquat head or that poodle wig.

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

 

[NellieBoo]

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

I've just hurt myself laughing so hard .

Morning Ninnies!

 

[Cookiecookie]

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

Someone needs to draw that like you might Nigella's garden. Not me. My drawing skills are like Jack's cooking abilities.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I love revisiting Jack’s insta View attachment 1439098 q

For some reason that picture of her with the leggings on her head is giving me very strong vibes of Blackadder with the bag on his head #ElizabethanFrugalHairdryingHack #Thrifty

 

[Boyo]

I love revisiting Jack’s insta View attachment 1439098 q

Ah, I miss #JackShacks

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I hope one day my poem makes it onto the GCSE spec as part of the power and conflict anthology.

Their comments smart my eyes and
I lie shattered,
Like a broken toy from my youth.
Flung.
Discarded.
Abandoned.
Forgotten.

They have turned me into a shell with their words,
A husk.
An empty vessel of longing and love.

But love overrides hate.
And I shall rise again.
Like the sun.
My time will come to shine and show them all.
That I can rise.
Oh yes, I will rise.

 

[melisnusty]

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

I’ve pulled a stomach muscle laughing at this! Bravo!

 

[Clovis]

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[Onestorytoomany]

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Oh God, she's gone all be at peace with the world. It won't last she will ge lights by this afternoon. She has more emotions than a nursery class of children.

Jack's hair looks fairly manageable, it's not 'thick, wild hair' at all. Unless it's her kumquat head or that poodle wig.

Was she drinking then, because this is honestly the sort or stuff my old college mates would have suggested after a night out.

Jack's hair looks fairly manageable, it's not 'thick, wild hair' at all. Unless it's her kumquat head or that poodle wig.

Was she drinking then, because this is honestly the sort or stuff my old college mates would have suggested after a night out.

 

[FrumpyCat]

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oh come on Jack, Philip Larkin - they duck you up your mum and dad ,- come on, I know you want to.

Poetry Jack is probably my least favourite Jack





Too much J1G from the scrtdrugaddict

Au contrait - poetry Jack is one of the funniest.

Anyone who could read 'girl with a pocket of stones' without laughing up a lung must have a heart or, err, stone.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Last night:

 

[usefullyuseless]

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

I was already laughing reading this but completely lost it at the description of her boobage.

 

[MrsFawlty]

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Hmm, sounds like someone's kept their GCSE poetry anthology and is quoting from it.

 

[moldwarp]

Going by Jack's descriptions of herself physically, you'd expect her to be 1m tall with loose skin flapping around her hands from being a preemie, thick untameable hair (that's thinning and falling out in clumps), the breasts of Lolo Ferrari, a body like a melted church candle, teeth falling out every time she opens her mouth, enormous genitals threatening to escape from her three layers of underwear, a huge ass, facial hair from her testosterone days, and hideous birthmarks all over her legs.

Instead she's perfectly average in every way except her mad shark eyes.

I hate you. You just made me laugh so hard I spat coffee on my top

You also missed her “severely dropped” shoulder and much faked thigh gap.

Tbh going off of Jacks description of herself, she should be shambling along like a cross between Slenderman and a scarecrow.