Jack Monroe #32 Shan't!

[Silver Linings]

Is she playing with us?

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I’m so annoyed because I that song, and The Chicks in general. She likes other music I like and it infuriates me.

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Congratulations @IGisntreal!!

 

[MarmiteExtract]

If I was given ten grand (estimate, M’Lud) then i’d learn how to do my own tech and not accidentally () delete a show that happened to have me being spectacularly inept in it.

sad little face, my arse. In all the ups and downs of this week that poor little kitty is the final straw.

Yes, she has advanced enough skills to be able to track down someone’s exact home address from their IP address (this lie that influencers spread explained here) but she can’t figure out the basics of Instagram.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

lots of people on twitter (the extent of her research) have told her it’s not a good idea, but you know Jack, she has an answer for everything.

She says she’s bracing herself for the vets quotes, not sure how anyone on a living wage can afford to splash out on a smeg fridge and potentially astronomical vets bills.

anyway, rolled my eyes at this one.

This is so so wrong, a cat doesn’t want to be held in a sling this cat is going to what to be like a normal kitten and play and climb up the curtains etc and the cat will put itself through agony trying to do those things.

I’ve been ill / am under like 15 years of regular checkups to check I don’t get scary ovarian cancer right and I find the amount of appts I have to keep on top of that a lot alongside a full time job and other things. Like obviously I’m incredibly grateful for them & not bemoaning the fact they’re keeping me safe, but I certainly wouldn’t have time for a high maintenance pet? I’m surprised Jack with every ailment she has, and a more demanding workweek than I do with her 90+ hours, and 100% of childcare, is inviting this additional burden to her schedule?

 

[Melmoo]

New poster here and just been through thread 31 ! I have never laughed so much !

I'm going now, I really have to go, I don't want to be here, me again, can I go now ?!? I am very busy, I don't have time to be here so I am going now..I'm much more busy than all of you and don't have time to post so will come back later, but here I am again..

What a very strange woman she is, portrays herself as a 'victim' throughout her posts but is equally passive aggressive (can find you and knock on your door). It was absolutely brilliant though and you lot crack me up. Thread 31 should be a life lesson sent to all instagramers / 'celebs', NEVER EVER go on tattle and try and justify your bullshit, no matter how hard you try you will come off looking like a c**t..

 

[MarmiteExtract]

New poster here and just been through thread 31 ! I have never laughed so much !

I'm going now, I really have to go, I don't want to be here, me again, can I go now ?!? I am very busy, I don't have time to be here so I am going now..I'm much more busy than all of you and don't have time to post so will come back later, but here I am again..

What a very strange woman she is, portrays herself as a 'victim' throughout her posts but is equally passive aggressive (can find you and knock on your door). It was absolutely brilliant though and you lot crack me up. Thread 31 should be a life lesson sent to all instagramers / 'celebs', NEVER EVER go on tattle and try and justify your bullshit, no matter how hard you try you will come off looking like a c**t..

It’s the funniest thread I’ve been in for a while. Jack constantly trying to bring it back to her woe is me schtick while the rest of us grow increasingly bored of her and start discussing ice lollies

 

[Chocolate girl]

Congratulations @IGisntreal how exciting for you!

I know I'm a bit behind but I've just watched the re do of the leftover larder Jack did the other day, I just cant understand why she brags constantly about being tit at her job and doing a crap job at something she is being paid to do!

Like I'm pretty sure if I kept cocking up at work and I just kept saying to my boss 'oh sorry it's because I'm incompetent' eventually he would be telling me to go be incompetent somewhere else!

 

[MancBee]

She says she’s bracing herself for the vets quotes, not sure how anyone on a living wage can afford to splash out on a smeg fridge and potentially astronomical vets bills.

You're forgetting the 93Kg (or was it 96Kg? Who cares) sideboard, duck load of paint, stuff for the shed (who has two camping gas hobs? I don't believe they were just lying around), stuff to create a darkroom under the stairs, Vivienne Westwood clothing, the list is endless.

What about those 2 pairs of hair clippers she now owns, but didn't when she cut her hair? She cut it with beard trimmers don't ya know?

All on a living wage. NOTHING adds up.

 

[FrumpyCat]

My landlord lets me redecorate, but only because he didn't do it before I moved in and it desperately needed doing! Lime green carpets anyone? I have blue hair so it really clashes too

I'm not allowed pets though, that's a strict no no. My neighbour has just got a kitten because she was bored during lockdown but I know she's not allowed any pets so be interested to see how that turns out

However, I've just bought a house (fancy!) and I earn much less than Jack does (speculation, your honour) it's taken me six years to save up enough to get a mortgage mind you

Wouldn't it have been easier to the your hair to match the carpets?

Getting a kitten because you are bored - that bodes well for the future. I expect in six months time the shelters will be full of former pets that got a bit inconvenient. .

Congratulations on your new house!

 

[LavaFlake]

I keep thinking about how she's using a very poorly animal to get attention and pity through proxy. It's making me fume. She clearly needs help as she is doing more and more ridiculous things to get affirmation and attention.

One of my pet peeves is also people who use social media as a form of Google for attention when asking very serious questions - with Jack's kitten questions being a case in point. Unless you are solely asking qualified vets then shut up.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Also, she wants a companion for her current cat... but most cats hate other cats on site unless they've been raised together. This will most likely be very traumatic for the injured kitten and her current cat having to navigate that.

And congratulations, @IGisntreal! I'm saving for a mortgage and it's taking aeons! I know how much dedication goes into it.

I'd love another cat, preferably one that likes me, but the furry little twit doesn't like other cats so we are sticking at one.

 

[HockyRorror]

Tattlers Quiz (in the style of a Cosmopolitan sex quiz)

You have a presentation to do on Instagram live in a few hours. Do you:

A) Spend those hours pre-preparing, going over your lines, making sure the camera angles are right, go through a few test runs, etc
B) Decide to faff the time away by giving yourself a makeover and chopping your hair off

You are given some sagely advice, from multiple people. It might not be the easiest advice to swallow but it is genuine and heartfelt. How do you respond to this advice?

A) Nod thoughtfully / Respond accordingly / Thank the person for taking the time to help
B) Say “SHAN’T”

You are a business owner and there are tons of things you are behind on. There are missing orders from things people have bought and they are contacting you telling you they haven’t received some items. What is the best course of action?

A) Get right on it. Sort out whatever you need to do, before directly responding to the people who contacted you and assure them that it’s sorted but to let you, as the business owner, know if there’s any further problems so you can look into it
B) Sign up to a website you’ve previously slagged off and spend the day arguing with people all the while telling them how busy you are and how you’ve “actually got a lot of work to do”?

So, are you actually Jack Monroe?

If you answered mostly “A)”: then no. You seem to mostly have your priorities in order, can organise your time fairly wisely and know when it’s time to knuckle down in order to meet a deadline.

If you answered mostly “B)”: Yes, absolutely x

 

[I steal names]

The thing is alot of people in the UK forget how much medical care is because we don't have to pay for it. If j lived in america she would be expected to have insurance for her own healthcare as well as her pets or be able to prove she could cover the cost before anyone would touched her or the pet. Even know I worked in the sector my eyes really opened last year . Watching my neighbour was paying for her cats treatment, as I was seeing how much each visit was costing her. The treatment isn't cheap but again it wouldn't be for us if we didn't have the NHS.

Yes (absolutely!) this. We're so used to having the NHS in this country, so it's a shock when you realise the cost of things. We're very lucky!

Also, she wants a companion for her current cat... but most cats hate other cats on site unless they've been raised together. This will most likely be very traumatic for the injured kitten and her current cat having to navigate that.

And congratulations, @IGisntreal! I'm saving for a mortgage and it's taking aeons! I know how much dedication goes into it.

I agree! My cats are sisters, and annoy each other to no end (they were adopted together as 4 month olds from Cat Protection). Another cat got onto our house once in the middle of the night, and I've never heard sounds like it, it gave my daughter a fear of the dark for ages afterwards.

 

[FrumpyCat]

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[Ellabella]

Well it certainly puts a whole new meaning to the word cat-fishing.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Gratuitous cat picture.

 

[I steal names]

Your cat is judging you and all your life choices.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Picture of cat

 

[Saint_clemmie]

It’s not, I repeat, NOT an impulsive decision.

some tweets for anyone who’s not seen them and incase they get deleted.

cropped out the picture of the kitten just to save anyone who might find it distressing.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Your cat is judging you and all your life choices.

I know. I am also to blame for the weather being the same from the front door and the back door (two doors - fancy!)