Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

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I've planned my funeral, I did it after my mum died very unexpectedly but she had written a letter with what she wanted, and a letter for us about how she loved us all. It made the plans much easier as we just handed it over to the vicar and undertaker. We were in such shock I don't think we could have managed to sort it out otherwise, I know my dad couldn't.
 
Coming like a fury from the past, have grunked up to page 30 something on the last thread. Fewmin.

I was a mainstay grandee on the Mumsnet thread called: "I found a list". Look out fellow contributors, wait for your found shopping lists to now become her lists.

Do something original, duck face Jack, if that's even possible? I doubt it.
 
A few more receipts from the past couple of months.

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Now she's buying a house. LITERALLY CAN'T LIE.
 
Ok, stop it now! I’m not allowing a completed it mate on a list of "wouldn’t it be great" and "what about".

5 – Ticked off today – well done you. (y)
4 – Just dug it out of your emails. You were asked to do it a few weeks ago and it was SO AMAZING that you forgot about it. Not yet happened.
3 – Just been asked to consider this one an hour ago. Not yet happened or confirmed.
2 – Had a chat in a car about it today. Not yet happened or confirmed.
1 – Were asked a while ago. Not yet happened or confirmed but you’re treating the enquiry as a completed it mate.

I see now how you convince yourself you’ve invented things. If something floats in front of you like a copulating butterfly, it’s yours...to keep...forever...job done.
ETA
Oh dear, I see she’s already heading for Lights Out again. Quick turn around even for you, booboo.
 
On (yet another) grunk so taking my chances on where this will land.

I’m effing knackered - the rollercoaster of narc highs and rages is exhausting just to watch.

On a separate note, I have been listening to buttloads of Rammstein lately and, while it reminded me of leather and sex when I was a teen, it now reminds me of you lot 🇩🇪
 
I bought in the last slump and needed the mortgage in principle before I was allowed to view anywhere. I shall be looking at Southend property prices later...

Not sure I'm ready for mortgage Jack. Imagine the poor sod who ends up doing the conveyancing for her? Nightmare! Then the smug "forever home" picture, no doubt leaving us able to 🔺 in minutes the location.

Wait, it's all bollocks so thankfully won't ever happen
 
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