Jack Monroe #290 The Violet Elizabeth Bott of food, she will cook and cook until you are sick.

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Switchstreetz

Switchstreetz

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Well, it seems to have quietened down a little so here's a new thread before the next inevitable tweet storm.

Cannot believe that title actually fit, well done @TurnedUpInTipp for the words and @jenny2603 for the nom. Your prize is a mini egg wrapped in tin foil. No not each, one between you both, what do you think Jack's made of money?!

After starting her Easter Sunday by lambasting Jacob Rees Mogg for likes on the cursed bird app, Jack went to meet OH's parents dressed as a "mini egg" in a £50 jumper and facetuned to the nines.

She even made them a cake. It seems Jack's "rule" has been relaxed.

So what did SB get for Easter? Slop for dinner and an egg hunt consisting solely of mini eggs individually wrapped in tin foil. 😒

The hellsite itself sponsored Jack to do a thread of links to her own website. You can tell how much effort she put in because one of her recipes isn't linked correctly and she has to add it in the replies, and another recipe uses the wrong ingredient (the tweet is about using banana peel, the recipe she linked to uses bananas). I hope it was worth every penny Elon.

Jack does her £21.23 shop for the week, then almost immediately begins making slop using ingredients that were not in her shop. I guess we're supposed to believe Jesus did her a solid and pulled off an Easter miracle?

After FOUR HOURS of planning, Jack came up with a meal plan for her £21 shop, several of the ingredients on this plan were not in her shop.

This is especially egregious as she was complaining about someone on twitter not costing the butter in their recipe just days earlier.

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Lastly, we witnessed a forum thread where OP suggested Jack as PM and another user hilariously offered up their cat as a better alternative #FluffyforPM 🐈

colouredlines said:
I suspect that the Mumsnet OP is trolling a bit...

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🎶 Soon as you're born they make you feel smol

ETA: Wiki is the pink button ⤴ check it out if you're new

Stolen shamelessly from the food and drink threads

Fraus / frauen – the witty ladies and gentlemen of the Jack Monroe threads were once referred to as a ‘a cabal of sad little hausfraus’ or something like it and we all loved it and adopted it as a term of endearment (so you may see someone say ‘hey fraus!’ Or ‘how are the cabal today?’ Or sometimes bastardised to 'canal')





🔺️ – triangulation warning! (as in to make yourself potentially locatable/identifiable to a washed up food blogger with a 100% success rate in court and an obsession with tattlers)



Grunking/having a grunka/a grunka lunka – to catch up on lots of posts (named after the wonderful @GrunkaLunka )



'Now duck off xx' – you might see us put this at the end of our posts, but we're just joking around don't worry!



‘I’M BUSY/something about a piss and a sandwich’ again mocking Jack Monroe who on #31 of her threads joined Tattle and tried to turn it into her bloody diary with a bunch of long self pitying posts, but had the nerve to ask if she ‘could go now’ for a piss and a sandwich to which the cabal were like ... ‘Yes please. Go. We have been telling you to leave for hours.’
ALSO:

MT or Mother Thread means the Jack Monroe thread.
We might mention Vladimir Putin / ‘Vlad’ and being paid with bitcoin (all jokes, we're not Russian bots we swear.)
 
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Switchstreetz said:
Well, it seems to have quietened down a little so here's a new thread before the next inevitable tweet storm.

Cannot believe that title actually fit, well done @TurnedUpInTipp for the words and @jenny2603 for the nom. Your prize is a mini egg wrapped in tin foil. No not each, one between you both, what do you think Jack's made of money?!

After starting her Easter Sunday by lambasting Jacob Rees Mogg for likes on the cursed bird app, Jack went to meet OH's parents dressed as a "mini egg" in a £50 jumper and facetuned to the nines.

She even made them a cake. It seems Jack's "rule" has been relaxed.

So what did SB get for Easter? Slop for dinner and an egg hunt consisting solely of mini eggs individually wrapped in tin foil. 😒

The hellsite itself sponsored Jack to do a thread of links to her own website. You can tell how much effort she put in because one of her recipes isn't linked correctly and she has to add it in the replies, and another recipe uses the wrong ingredient (the tweet is about using banana peel, the recipe she linked to uses bananas). I hope it was worth every penny Elon.

Jack does her £21.23 shop for the week, then almost immediately begins making slop using ingredients that were not in her shop. I guess we're supposed to believe Jesus did her a solid and pulled off an Easter miracle?

After FOUR HOURS of planning, Jack came up with a meal plan for her £21 shop, several of the ingredients on this plan were not in her shop.

This is especially egregious as she was complaining about someone on twitter not costing the butter in their recipe just days earlier.

View attachment 1206110 qView attachment 1206111 q

Lastly, we witnessed a forum thread where OP suggested Jack as PM and another user hilariously offered up their cat as a better alternative #FluffyforPM 🐈


🎶 Soon as you're born they make you feel smol
Click to expand...
I’ve just realised I have that planner!!
Pretty sure it was from …Oliver Bonas!!
 
MotorcycleEmptiness said:
Added to this thread as I think the other closes after posting:

Feel silly asking this now but can someone give me the definition of “grunking”?

I googled and the urban dictionary entry didn’t seem right:eek:
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Haha! It’s from an old Frau called GrunkaLunka who would catch up on threads with the speed of light, hence “grunking” on a catch up. I used the phrase IRL the other day and got a raised eyebrow.
 
MotorcycleEmptiness said:
Added to this thread as I think the other closes after posting:

Feel silly asking this now but can someone give me the definition of “grunking”?

I googled and the urban dictionary entry didn’t seem right:eek:
Click to expand...

Grunking is to do a long catch up on the threads, named after a user named GrunkaLunka! We used to have a "glossary" of Frau terms somewhere I'll see if I can grab it

@MotorcycleEmptiness here you go
Fraus / frauen – the witty ladies and gentlemen of the Jack Monroe threads were once referred to as a ‘a cabal of sad little hausfraus’ or something like it and we all loved it and adopted it as a term of endearment (so you may see someone say ‘hey fraus!’ Or ‘how are the cabal today?’ Or sometimes bastardised to 'canal')





🔺️ – triangulation warning! (as in to make yourself potentially locatable/identifiable to a washed up food blogger with a 100% success rate in court and an obsession with tattlers)



Grunking/having a grunka/a grunka lunka – to catch up on lots of posts (named after the wonderful @GrunkaLunka )



'Now duck off xx' – you might see us put this at the end of our posts, but we're just joking around don't worry!



‘I’M BUSY/something about a piss and a sandwich’ again mocking Jack Monroe who on #31 of her threads joined Tattle and tried to turn it into her bloody diary with a bunch of long self pitying posts, but had the nerve to ask if she ‘could go now’ for a piss and a sandwich to which the cabal were like ... ‘Yes please. Go. We have been telling you to leave for hours.’
ALSO:

MT or Mother Thread means the Jack Monroe thread.
We might mention Vladimir Putin / ‘Vlad’ and being paid with bitcoin.


Into_the_tunnel said:
Thanks @Switchstreetz . I was taking 4 hours to find a thread nomination and this is my ~literal~ job and I am exhausted under the weight of covid BIGMaths and cereal calculations.
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It was exhausting, I spent the first 30 minutes just howling and clawing at the "post thread" button.



Honestly if I was a nurse or a firefighter I don't think I could have done it 😔
 
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MotorcycleEmptiness said:
I am hoping that some of the squigs will see the light as they attempt to recreate the meal plan and realise most of it wasn’t using the £21 shopping trip! Although some of them seem completely enamoured :(
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I think more and more people are seeing that, this time last year she'd have had only adoring squigs but the questioning of things like that is rising steadily.
 
Thanks for new thread @Switchstreetz !

Catching up I wanted to say I agreed with @colouredlines especially re: the meal planning. If you're working within £20 then there's no need to say 'plum 12p' or whatever the duck else because you know it came from your £20 weekly shop.

As an aside, these are the meal planners I use. Can't get the image to rotate 😂

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They're expensive for what they are (£7) but I like that the shopping list bit is perforated so you can write as you go for the following week and rip it off easily. Plus it divides the day into breakfast lunch dinner and snacks so it's easy to read. Unlike Jack's wall of ridiculous performative shite. None of which will end up on her broke ass website.
 
I'm so profligate.

We bought 5kg of sushi rice for a tenner yesterday. The cup that came with the rice cooker is a standard Japanese measure of about 180g. Half a cup of uncooked rice is a portion in my world. That gives 55 (and a bit) individual portions of rice at a cost of 18p per portion. On average, I have rice 5 days a week. So that bag lasts for three months by itself.

Because that's another issue - when the cheaper things are sold out because some performative pov fuckwit has nabbed ten bags of the 45p rice. You cannot be sure that the same deal is available next week. Or the particular item you need because you can't just shovel down wheat at every opportunity isn't in stock, either. So it makes sense to inflation and shortage-proof essentials; no point waiting until next week. (learned Fraus might link this to the Tragedy of the Commons aka This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things). I spend more up front, get a larger quantity, don't have to compete with others for scare resources, it tastes better because rice is not all the same and whatever happens in the next 12 weeks, I have rice.

People who are genuinely skint aren't bleeping round on their phones looking for stuff to cook with the contents of the food recycling bin. They're looking for stuff that will cover them for more that tonight and whilst that tenner might be more than some people can afford, her target demographic is very well able to do, which then frees the cheapest things up for those who are at the pointy end.
 
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